10 Things I Will Never Say
Not Today. Not Tomorrow. Not Any Day
You know the warning “Never say never?” Well, now that I’m middle-aged, I’m confident there are certain things I will NEVER say (or do).
Take a look at my list and see if there are any you’d never say either!
1. “Bartender, make that martini extra dry.”
My mother drank gin martinis. The first time she let me have a sip, I thought I would choke to death! Even for the sake of a delish green olive, I’ll never dip into that martini toxin!
2. “Let’s go for sushi for dinner.”
Really? Raw fish? I just don’t get it. Now, offer me shrimp tempura or broiled lobster tails and you’ve got yourself a dinner date.
3. “Skiing for the holidays? I’d love to!”
Not a chance. I’m such a klutz that I fell and broke my ankle on the sidewalk – on a patch of ice – in Las Vegas. Handsome Hubby bought me a pair of cross-country skis early in our dating days. It almost ended our relationship!
4. “Oh, yummy. Pork chops for dinner.”
It’s not that I keep kosher. I do eat bacon and ribs, but I draw the line at pork chops. Consistency is not my middle name. (Michelle is.)
5. “Oh, just throw out the Sunday New York Times. I’m not going to get to it.”
Just as it was for my father, the Sunday NYT is my Bible. I read it no matter what else is going on. In sickness and in health, The Times is by my side.
6. “Cold enough for you?”
Why do people say that? If it’s cold, it’s cold. No point in repeating the obvious.
7. “Hot enough for you?”
8. “Let’s go camping.”
I’ve written about my anti-camping philosophy previously, but I just cannot say it enough – If Mother Nature calls, I’m out!
9. “Oh, honey, sweetheart, darling, sainted spouse, (etc.), your snoring doesn’t bother me at all.”
Loyal Muddling through Middle Age readers know – Handsome Hubby’s snoring is epic, alarming, and causes me to flee the scene of the crime each night!
10. “Aren’t cats cute!”
No, no they are not, says allergic me.
And for a bonus: “Let’s watch an episode of the Kardashians’ TV show.”
I don’t think that needs an explanation, do you?
Yes, thanks to being middle-aged, I have the confidence to state what I like and what I don’t like. And that, I believe is one of the true blessings of being a “woman of a certain age,” don’t you agree?
Well, I’ve shared my list of “never will I say’s.” What’s on your list? Please share! In fact, share if you dare! Submit at least two “I’d never say” statements in your entry in the comments section below. Only one entry per person. A winner – chosen at random – will receive a Muddling through Middle Age treat. The treat? A handy “what-not” porcelain tray that looks a lot like the Muddling bifocals banner, handy for holding glasses, eye cream, eye drops, and even lollipops!
Update: We have a winner! Congratulations to Corienne Welchel of Georgia.
On the Muddling.Me Facebook contest page, Corrine commented, “I never ask if a woman is pregnant & I never ask if my clothing makes me look fat.”
These “never say never’s” demonstrate Corienne is both smart and kind!