Laments About Still a Looker

It’s All a Blur. A Problem with My Eyes

At Last! An Old-Age Lament I'm Ok With!

A Problem with My Eyes

For at least a year now, I’ve noticed a problem with my eyes. No, that’s not specific enough. I’ve noticed a problem with my vision. No, that’s still not specific enough. For almost one year, I’ve had increasing trouble seeing. There. I’ve said it. I’m having trouble seeing. Read more

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My Face Has Gone to the Dogs

More Bow Wow than Wow

My face has gone to the dogs

When I was a child, my Uncle George would grab my cheeks so hard I thought he’d lift me off the ground.

“Such a shayna punim,” he’d exclaim with joy. (The term is Yiddish. It literally means “pretty face” but colloquially means what a pretty girl.)

“Yes!” my parents would reply with equal joy.

At 6, I hated Uncle George as I rubbed my aching cheeks, and I hated my parents for allowing this unwelcome greeting. Read more

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Woman in Fashion Rut

Seeking Inspiration STAT

I'm in a fashion rut

I’ve got the wildfire + mask-wearing + middle-aged blues. Yes, I’m a woman in a fashion rut. I need inspiration STAT. Read more

Icon Iris Apfel: Still Stylish at 100

Meeting Up with an Old Friend at Lowe's

Icon Iris Apfel

I ran into an old friend at Lowe’s this weekend. It was quite a surprise for two reasons. First, she lives in NYC, and second, she’s 100 years old. You just don’t expect to run into centennials in the paint section of a hardware store on a wildfire-fueled smoky Saturday in Nevada. But there she was, Iris Apfel. Read more

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Crocs are Still a Thing!

My Aching Bunions Rejoice. My Stylish Soul Laments

Crocs are still a thing

Last night, in bunion distress, I tossed out the last of my chic pointy high heels. My achy feet rejoiced, but my stylish soul cried out in despair. Later, seeking new comfortable shoes to buy, I discovered — to my extreme horror — crocs are still a thing!

They’re not just a “thing,” they’re proliferating — like mushrooms, mildew, and nuclear weapons. Read more

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Air Guitar Glam, Glory and Sweat

I Need a New Sport. I Need a New Body

AIr guitar

Sheltering-at-home baking. Sheltering-at-home Zoom meetings. And sheltering-at-home EVERYTHING has created a severe case of a sheltering-at-home chubby body. I need to do something STAT to shake up the doldrums and this lardy body surrounding them. Hey, I know. I need air guitar.

Now please don’t tell me to “Just go for a walk.” BORING. Read more

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Discontinued Products. Loyalty Be Damned

Consumer Beware. Consumer So Sad

Products Discontinued

We all know the bittersweet nostalgia that comes with thoughts of beloved foods from childhood. But what feeling conveys — truly conveys — the feeling we get about recently discontinued products, like favorite cosmetics and toiletries?

Lately, manufacturers have stopped making multiple of my tried and true products. Oh, cruel companies! I’m a creature of habit. You’re rocking my world and NOT in a good way. Read more

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Nail Ridges: The Latest Sign of Aging

Down in the Valley, the Valley So Low

Amid pressing national concerns, I’m dealing with yet another personal aging crisis — nail ridges. Happily, at least, I’ve found a song to accompany me in my misery.

The song? Read more

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Showers are Dangerous to Your Health

Slips and Sulfates. Oh, My

showers are dangers

I used to love my morning shower. Bracing, yes. A refreshing pick-me-up and I’d emerge with shining hair. What could be better? But now? Now I’m older and wiser. I have the wisdom of age AND the Internet. I know better. Showers are dangerous to your health!

Yes, ladies, I say to you all, step away slowly and carefully! For your health and safety, step away tout de suite! Read more

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Nailed It! The Art of Home Manicures

In My Dreams

Nailed it

After almost six months of sheltering-at-home, I thought I had nailed it. Yes, I thought I finally had mastered the art of applying nail polish to my own fingernails.

At first, it was a challenge. You see, I was a mani-novice. Read more

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