Laments About Still a Looker

Resolve to be Irresolute!

Avoid New Year's Guilt

Resolve to be Irresolute

Just one week into the New Year and I was already backsliding into bad habits faster than a first-time skier hitting the slopes.

Start that diet? Hard to do with all the holiday candy still casting its chocolaty come-hither glance at me.

Exercise? How, when I could hardly move from all that candy-gorging I’m doing 24/7?

Be a better person? Who was I kidding? That was never going to happen, sugar-rush or no sugar-rush.

So, just days into the New Year, I decided to drop the pretense. Skip the guilt. Avoid making – and breaking – those resolutions of yesteryears to eat less, exercise more, and be a better person. I decided to just hunker down and continue living in my usual slovenly, unhealthy, impatient way.

But then, I had an idea.   Read more

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I’ve Been Naughty. Now I’m Getting Spanx-ed

Calories, then Compression and Depression

I've Been Naughty. Now I'm Getting Spanx-ed

‘Tis the season to over-indulge, true. But, alas, ’tis also the season to sequin, shimmy, and shake – all of which challenge chubby, out-of-shape, middle-aged me.

And while I can still wedge myself into my cute holiday clothes, do I look cute? Hardly. I more resemble that lump of coal Santa leaves children who have been naughty, not nice, than I do some hot party babe.

So, sadly I’m giving myself a Spanx-ing. Read more

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When in Doubt, Blame Science

The Latest Addition to the Pantheon of Excuses

When in doubt, blame science

Life is hard. When we do something wrong, we all fall back on excuses and blame others.

“The dog ate my homework.”
“My mother won’t let me go to the party.”
“The Devil made me do it!”

But now, move over dog, Mom, and Devil. We have a new scapegoat to blame and shame, and it goes by the name of Science. Read more

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Nixon and Me: United in Jowls

There's a Surgery for That!

Nixon and Me: United in Jowls

Richard Nixon and I sadly have something in common. Jowls. I’ve tried to ignore the problem, but jowls and jawlines are in the news. So, what can I do?

Yes, regrettably, I – the anti-plastic surgery woman – am once again day-dreaming about plastic surgery. Read more

Diet Daze, Praise and Prays

Cabbage Soup by the Bowlful

Diet Daze, Praise and Prays

I’ve got religion! And like all religious zealots, I speak of nothing else. My new-found religion is not a traditional religion, nor is it New Age hippy, dippy. My new religion is my new diet. More specifically, it is my new-found diet success! Read more

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Rebranding: Dunkin’ Donuts … and Me?

The Name Game

Rebranding: Dunkin' Donuts and Me?

Rebranding is the rage. Dunkin’ Donuts and Weight Watchers are just the latest jumping on the name change bandwagon. And it’s got me thinking. Maybe middle-aged me could use a change too.

After all, I don’t want to be one of those people who gets stuck in a rut. Shaking things up might be just the thing I need. Instead of the same old Karen Galatz – writer, wife, and mom, perhaps I need a different persona.

But how and what should I change? Read more

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Far-from-the-Runway Runaway Thoughts

An Unstylish Fashion Maven Speaks Her Mind!

Far from the runway runaway thoughts

Fall fashion season is here. The runways are overflowing with willowy models and haute couture commentary. So, who am I, admittedly un-chic, un-willowy, to offer my own runaway thoughts about fashion and style? Just a middle-aged muddling mom (MAMM) with a far-from-the-runway point-of-view! Read more

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In Praise of Pantyhose

A Princess and This Pauper Share Sheer Delights

In Praise of Pantyhose

When the leaves start falling, a woman’s thoughts turn to … pantyhose? Well, for some of us. It’s true.

I belong to a dying breed of never-go-bare-legged women. Rare among womankind today, I wear pantyhose. Not just with formal night attire, but during the day too. Even in the summer. Even in the East when summertime humidity is swoon-worthy!

Now there are women who wear opaque tights when the outside temperature dips and wintery winds howl, but that’s not the legwear I’m talking about. There are also women who wear fishnet and other fashion-fad leg gear, but that’s not the hose in question.

What I’m referring to is the sheer, easy-to-run-and-ruin flesh-colored kind that has adorned my pasty white limbs since I aged out of knee-high socks. Read more

T is for Torture and Treadmill

Step Lively or Die

T is for torture and treadmill

I stepped out of the bathroom, all shiny and clean, a hint of make-up, my hair perfectly coiffed. I was all set for my big appointment of the day.

“You showered? You washed your hair?” commented my husband with a quizzical look. “Odd.”

“Well, it’s the first time,” I explained, somewhat annoyed I felt the need to explain, “I want to make a good impression.”

“Odd,” he repeated. “I never shower first.” Read more

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Online Surfing Danger Ahead!

Beware of Bots!

Surfing Danger Ahead

There’s surfing danger ahead! Not in the water, but online. Take a quick look at an ad for an anti-aging skin cream, and that product will haunt you on the Internet until you die and decompose.

Blink your eye and consider a brief fling with glitter eyeliner, as I did earlier this summer, and you are forever branded as part of David Bowie’s glam squad!

Peruse a winter white wool turtleneck sweater in January, and come July, you’ll still get urgent notices to “Hurry, there’s only one still in stock!!”

Five years ago, amid a foot problem, I considered buying orthotic heel lifts. Thankfully, the foot problem resolved itself, but orthotic ads track me on the Worldwide Web as diligently as sharks stalk their prey. Read more

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