New Year’s Resolutions 2020

Sigh! It’s that time of year. Time for New Year’s Resolutions. Time also for that pesky, but inevitable New Year’s Resolutions’ Guilt. You know, the guilt that comes when you fail to achieve all those bright shiny resolutions.

Well, be of good cheer. I am here to help!

My One. My Only

You see, my resolution, my only resolution, for 2020 is to help my friends – quickly, efficiently, and painlessly – shed their annual failure-to-achieve New Year’s Resolutions’ Guilt!

Yes, I will – selflessly – meet with friends over luncheon salads (laden with high-caloric croutons and drippy dressing) to listen to lengthy laments about not getting to the gym, not being patient with their children, and not being kind to the in-laws.

Likewise, I will – silently – listen through gripes about their spouses’ failures to honor New Year’s pledges to pick up socks and spend more time with the kids or grandkids.

And I will nod – without recrimination or disdain – as friends pour out guilt and grievances over all those multiple failed resolutions, be those resolutions written or whispered, voiced or vowed prayerfully.

Been There. Done That

“How?” you may wonder, “can I shoulder my friends’ pains so selflessly without personal pain 0r judgment?”

Well, it is because now that I am older (so much older), I rarely feel threatened by feelings of guilt, self-loathing, and doubt. I too have suffered from New Year’s Resolutions’ Guilt.

Yes, I’ve lived enough years and traveled down the New Year’s Resolutions Good Intentions Highway enough times to know there’s no way, I’m going to get to the proverbial end of the road – i.e. the end of the year – with those resolutions intact and fulfilled.

So, I understand my friends’ pain. How can I possibly blame and berate them for the inevitable failure that will follow?

I swear, I’m not a pessimist. I’m just a realist. If I haven’t taken off those 10 pounds (per child) of post-partum fat by now, it just is never going to happen. Why continue to beat myself up about it? Why continue to be unhappy about it?

Wisdom and Weight

And so, with the years, I’ve not only gained weight, but I’ve also gained wisdom! And starting this year, I’m going to use that wisdom to help my resolution-intent friends.

I will do this because I know that by the time February 1st rolls around, my friends will be eager to get back to the business of life – enjoying themselves, overeating, seeking quick and easy ways to lose weight, under-exercising, and trash-talking people behind their backs!

And I want to make the transition back to their normal, less-than-perfect selves as easy and guilt-free as possible. That’s why I’ll be there, listening, commiserating, and being the best possible gal pal ever!

Yes, thanks to the successful completion of my own New Year’s Resolution: to have been there supporting them through the entire guilty let-down transition process, my friends will indeed have a Happy 2020!

🎉🎉🎉

On that note, I wish you and yours a Happy, Healthy 2020!

And if you know someone who needs New Year’s Resolutions’ Guilt support, please forward this blog to them and encourage them to subscribe. Tell them it’s part of a healthy lifestyle choice for 2020. After all, laughter (and apples) are the best medicine!