Scams We Can Use?

They say cheaters never prosper. But sometimes their actions give cause to pause simply for their sheer audacity. Such was the case this week when in rapid order — one, then two — I read of scams so ridiculous, they took my breath away. One has birthday gift-getting implications, and since my b-day is around the corner, I confess it’s giving me unwholesome food for thought. Hence I wonder – are there scams we can use?

Please note: I’m just thinking out loud. NOT advocating the art of the scam.

Scams We Can Use? Number 1

First, I read about a couple who wed and divorced four times in just 37 days so they could take advantage of a honeymoon-leave loophole in Taiwan’s labor laws.

Under that law, newlyweds receive eight days of leave. By marrying four times, the groom claimed 32 days’ worth of vacation from his employer. His boss, a banker, said no dice and refused to approve the multi-wed man’s multi-leave claims.

Now, normally I’m on the side of true love, but the operative word is “true,” and the couple’s attempt to extend their honeymoon bliss seemed more manipulative than sweet of heart.

But the four-timing groom didn’t give up. He took his case to the Taipei city labor department, which fined the bank the equivalent of $710 for violating leave regulations! A rare instance of sometimes there ought NOT to be a law!

Happily Ever After?

The upshot: The City of Taipai is reviewing its honeymoon leave policy to prevent future similar abuses. Meanwhile, the re-marrieds remain happily coupled with no (reported) plans to unhitch.

Scams We Can Use? Number Two

Over in Japan, an energetic man devised a way to rake in multiple — and I do mean multiple — birthday gifts. He simultaneously dated 35 women, telling them he had different birthdates during the year — to ensure a steady stream of gifts.

Two thoughts immediately come to mind: First: isn’t it costly to woo that many women at once? Doesn’t it require some modicum of cash to wine and dine the ladies before getting them to fork over the birthday gift payola? Just the transportation costs to and from dates must cost a bundle plus clothing, haircuts, the occasional flowers. It’s all got to add up. What’s the investment to payback ratio?

Second, how does a person, even a young person, have the stamina, physical and mental, to keep the multi-dame game going? If it’s Tuesday, it must be Susie. If it’s Wednesday, it must be … Perhaps there’s an app for serial dating scammers? If there isn’t, this guy should invent one.

As one woman duped by this dope wryly observed, “He’s an awful person, but I envy his time-management skills.”

And So …

As terrible as this guy is, my birthday is just weeks away, and his scam has got greedy, gift-grubbing me thinking. Just thinking, mind you. Is there a less taxing scheme, mentally and I presume sexually, a middle-aged muddler like me can pull off before my birthday? Could I lure a series of old geezers to coffee shops for chit-chat, and in the process, just casually mention my birthday’s approaching? Is there an app exclusively designed for seniors seeking coffee chat and a little light larceny? Probably not.

Lucky for me, Handsome Hubby is more than romantic enough for me and, thanks to my superior gift-hinting skills, a great present presenter as well. So, I don’t need to embark on a shady, scandalous life of a scammer to secure a birthday gift bonanza.

And for all you would-be non-monogamous schemers, beware: The Japanese birthday Romeo in question received less than $1000 worth of presents AND he was arrested. No word on if he’d be spending his actual birthday in jail!

Still, so much for a heart-breaking life of crime or more accurately, a life of crime breaking hearts!

🎂 🎂 🎂

And in closing, remember the words of playwright David Mamet:

 “Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance.”