Overrun with Cats and Kittens

Infestations continue to rule my life. First, came the neighborhood creepy crawling caterpillars and snakes. Then, came the fungus gnats swarming my beloved indoor plants. Now, I face the most insidious infestation of all. My Facebook feed is overrun with cats, kittens, and German shepherds.

To animal lovers, this is no big deal, but to hyper-cat-allergic, dog-fearing me, this is a serious, sneezeful siege.

It began, as reigns of terror often do, in a seemingly innocent manner. I “liked” and “followed” a fanciful cake decorator.

That was all I did or at least that’s all I thought I did.

But oh, no, no, no. The ever-watchful eye of the invisible Facebook algorithm immediately told note. I was pegged as “old.” I was identified as “cute” and “homey.”

Overrun with Cats, Kittens, and German Shepherds

As a result, the floodgates of the inexhaustible and evil algorism opened — opened wide. Out spewed an eruption of unwanted, unwelcome “stuff.”

I was instantly inundated with posts about hunky Vikings, Far Side cartoons, dewy-eyed kid pics, cartoons about cantankerous oldsters, cartoons about hippy oldsters, and nostalgia about cars, clothes, and celebrities of bygone days.

I found un-crafty me on the receiving end of endless do-it-yourself craft videos and crocheting projects and for “inspiration” I received a stream of upbeat quotes from John Wayne (who knew The Duke was quotable?).

On and on it went, crowding out updates from friends.

That’s Not All, Folks

But most of all, I got — and continue to get — hundreds and hundreds of posts about cats, kittens, and German shepherds. Also, dachshunds (and strangely, Richard Attenborough).

Now, I understand many of you are pet lovers. That’s fine. I understand you post pictures of your pets. That’s your right. I’m your friend. I will look at those.

But again, I’m allergic to cats and honestly, German shepherds terrify me. So, this flood of posts from total strangers is most unwelcome.

I have fought back.

I hit the “show less” button until my finger ached, requiring ice to stem the pain! The result of my efforts was heartening. I vanquished the Vikings. I had the last laugh on the cartoons and even The Duke moseyed out of town taking the crafters, the crocheters, and the nostalgia buffs with him.

Failure and Farewell!!!

Yet, unfortunately, I cannot stem the tide of felines and canines. My FB page still meows, purrs, and barks 24/7! I cannot rid myself of the people who relentlessly post posed pics of their costumed cats, kittens, and German shepherds.

For a time, I tried blocking pet posters, but that felt about as effective as trying to block half the population of FB.

So, now, my dear friends on FB, I plead: if something big happens to you, please share it with me via phone, text, or email. Otherwise, with all the sneezing, scratching, and speed-scrolling going on, it’s quite likely that I’ll zoom by your updates.

And with that warning, I end this blog.

Meow, I mean, goodbye for now. Achoo!