Laments About Arthritic Adventures

Call Me Ms. Inspector Gadget

I’ve Got the Nowhere to Go Binge-Buying Gadget Blues

Call Me Ms. Inspector Gadget

Remember the long-running kids’ cartoon show featuring the dim-witted, multi-tooled-crime-fighting police Inspector Gadget, voiced by TV’s popular Don Adams, aka Get Smart character Maxwell Smart? Well, nowadays, you might as well call me, Ms. Inspector Gadget.

Why? Read more

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Addicted to (Fill in the Blank)

What's Your Cannot Control Compulsion?

Addicted to

Robert Palmer sang of being “Addicted to Love.” Weird Al Yankovic parodied with “Addicted to Spuds.” Me? I’m addicted to books. More accurately, I’m addicted to book-buying.

Left unrestrained, Read more

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DoorDash and Dashed Hopes

Dinner was Not Served!

DoorDash and Dashed Hopes

If you read my work, you know that Handsome Hubby is the kindest, sweetest, most patient man — no, make that — the kindest, sweetest, most patient person on the planet. He practically qualifies for sainthood. And this coming from a Jewish girl is high praise indeed.

So, keep that in mind when I tell the following story of my almost-a-saint spouse and his terrible, rotten, no good day. Read more

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Drug Warning Labels Need Amending

Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery OR Bake Cakes

Drug warning labels

Drug warning labels need amending ASAP. Henceforth, labels need note: do not operate heavy machinery OR bake cakes while under the influence of certain medications.

Bakers, take heed. Read more

Picking Apart Lady Pockets

Holey Sexism!

let's pick apart ladies pockets

Let’s talk pockets. More specifically, the lack of proper lady pockets. It’s a problem every female from seven to seventy-seven knows too well. Read more

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Walk This Way!

Avoid Pedestrian Rage

Walk this way

I’m not usually a hard rock fan. Nonetheless, I’m inspired by hard rockin’ Aerosmith’s hit song “Walk This Way,” because I too want everybody to walk a very specific way. And if they do, I’m 100% confident it will solve today’s pandemic pedestrian equivalent of road rage.

The source of this rage?  Read more

Five Tips for Stylish Mask Wearing

A Middle-Aged Mask Maven Speaks

Five Tips for Stylist Mask Wearing

Wearing a mask is essential. Wearing a mask is the right thing to do. But wearing a mask is driving me meshuga. That’s Yiddish for crazy. But now help is at hand. Here are my Five Tips for Fun, Comfortable, and Stylish Mask Wearing. Read more

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Lists Make Life Easier, Right?

A List-Maker's Lament

Lists are supposed to make life easier

Some people pray before going to bed. Me? I’m an unrepentant list maker. Each night I type up and email myself a to-do list of tasks I need and want to accomplish the next day. And short of dire “breaking news” headlines, it’s the first email I read each morning. Lists used to make my life easier and keep me focused. But now I’m not so sure. Now they’re the source of anxiety. Please heed this list writer’s lament! Read more

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Out, Out Gray Hair!

Part 2: Two Kinds of Women

To dye or not to dye

It’s a subject of fierce debate among women (and men) of a certain age. To dye or not to dye gray hair. Me? I’m, of course, a die-hard dyer! Read more

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Game of Carts

America's New Fun Fad

Game of Cards

My father, Big Julie by name, was an electrician by profession, but a gambler and a poet in his heart of hearts. Big Julie’s game of choice? Dice. Now, I too, amid the coronavirus pandemic, am a gambler. My game, not by choice, is Game of Carts. Yes, I play the Amazon delivery system, hitting my computer’s “refresh” button 10, 11, 12 times a day, hoping to hit a jackpot and score a delivery time that day … any day! Read more

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