Laments About Arthritic Adventures

Caffeinated and Infatuated. The Barista of My Dreams

Hot and Steamy on Demand

Caffeinated and Infatuated

For the record: I’m no coffee connoisseur. I drink lattes because they satisfy my two chief criteria for coffee – lots of milk and lots of room for sugar. But recently, I met the barista of my dreams. Now I’m caffeinated and infatuated.

The day I met my new love, I was in that early morning pre-coffee kind of stupor. Slow moving and slow thinking, I practically bumped into this stunning, towering cool creator of caffeine and other bubbling hot delights. I was instantly overwhelmed. Read more

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Online Surfing Danger Ahead!

Beware of Bots!

Surfing Danger Ahead

There’s surfing danger ahead! Not in the water, but online. Take a quick look at an ad for an anti-aging skin cream, and that product will haunt you on the Internet until you die and decompose.

Blink your eye and consider a brief fling with glitter eyeliner, as I did earlier this summer, and you are forever branded as part of David Bowie’s glam squad!

Peruse a winter white wool turtleneck sweater in January, and come July, you’ll still get urgent notices to “Hurry, there’s only one still in stock!!”

Five years ago, amid a foot problem, I considered buying orthotic heel lifts. Thankfully, the foot problem resolved itself, but orthotic ads track me on the Worldwide Web as diligently as sharks stalk their prey. Read more

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My Dolls Need Plastic Surgery!

Time Waits for No Man, Woman or Doll

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she puts away her dolls and moves on to grown-up pleasures. For most girls, that comes with puberty. For me, it took a few more years. OK. It took an extra half-century.

Yes, for 50+ years, I’ve kept a massive black steamer trunk full of dolls, ostensibly saving them “for my children,” but truthfully mostly just saving them.

I’m a sentimental type, a saver. OK. I’m a bit of a bit of a hoarder. Read more

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Silver Necklace Shopping: Bring on the Bling

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme Some Credit

Silver Necklace Shopping

The other day, on a whim, I decided to buy myself a fancy silver necklace. I’ve never bought myself expensive jewelry before. When it came to the good stuff, the big bling-y, sparkling stuff, that arrived as gifts from parents, boyfriends, and for the past 32 years, Handsome Hubby.

But I was in the mood for instant gratification. I wanted the necklace right then and there. I didn’t feel like “hinting” and waiting for HH. I’m a big girl – more than a big girl, I’m middle-aged and – by God, I can buy my own bling!

So, faster than you can say “discretionary spending,” off I went on my mission to find that perfect piece of jewelry. What I got was something entirely different! Read more

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Talkin’ Trash: The Games Families Play

Will He or Won't He?

talkin' trash: The Games Families Play

Remember when the kids were little and you had family game night? Well, my live-at-home 26-year-old and I still play games together. More specifically, we play one game each week. More specific still, we play the same “talkin’ trash” game every Monday night. We play “Will he or won’t he … take out the trash?”

It’s a fun game. You may even play it at your house. There are set rules to it. It’s predictable – except for the outcome which makes my hair and blood-pressure rise. Read more

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Seasonal Vanity Disorder

A Sight for Sore Eyes, Lips, and ...

seasonal vanity disorder

It’s that time of year when I’m forced to schedule my annual embarrassing doctor’s appointment. You’re thinking mammogram and pap smear. But no, I suffer from another repeating ordeal, SVD, Seasonal Vanity Disorder, a hush-hush, but common mid-life ailment.

Each June, I’m forced to hot foot it to the doctor to get a prescription for prescription-strength allergy-relief medication to soothe my itchy swollen eyelids, blotchy, splotchy derma, and yes, even my hot feet!

“Ah, seasonal allergies,” you surmise and sympathize.

Well, thank you for the sympathy, but you’re wrong about what ails me. Read more

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Website Wedded Woes

Handsome Hubby is Not Amused

Website Wedded Woes

Sure, he thought it was fun for a while. Sure, he liked being called Handsome Hubby in my Muddling through Middle Age blog. In fact, he liked it so much he even started signing emails to me “HH.” But now the fun has ended and Website Wedded Woes have begun!

HH has taken umbrage at my blogging about him and our marriage. Read more

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Klutz Meets Cake. Cake Wins

Cake Catastrophe

Klutz Meets Cake. Cake Wins

Last week was Handsome Hubby’s birthday. What do you give a man of modest needs and wants who has everything but the time to enjoy what he’s got? A delicious home-cooked dinner with a cake made from scratch, thought I, a cooking klutz.

The truth is I’m actually a pretty decent cook, but I am sadly severely baking-challenged. So, I spent much time searching for a dessert recipe that was delicious, but also doable.

Death by Chocolate Chip

After much debate, I picked a recipe for a Mocha Chocolate Chip Cake with Mocha Chocolate Chip Icing. Death by chocolate chip! What a sweet way to go!

But then, barely-able-to-bake me made a mistake. Instead of using my tried and true 8-inch cake pans, I decided to Read more

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10 Things I Will Never Say

Not Today. Not Tomorrow. Not Any Day

10 Things I'll Never Say

You know the warning “Never say never?” Well, now that I’m middle-aged, I’m confident there are certain things I will NEVER say (or do).

Take a look at my list and see if there are any you’d never say either!

1. “Bartender, make that martini extra dry.” 
My mother drank gin martinis. The first time she let me have a sip, I thought I would choke to death! Even for the sake of a delish green olive, I’ll never dip into that martini toxin!

2. “Let’s go for sushi for dinner.”
Really? Raw fish? Read more

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The Prince Wore Plaid

Handsome Hubby, Not Harry

The Prince Wore Plaid

Several months back, I vowed to follow a strict diet. I wasn’t cutting carbs or calories, but celebrities. More specifically, I vowed to stop my late-night consumption of empty sugary fluff and stuff articles about celebs. Then, amid all the unrelenting and divisive bad news, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got engaged. I broke my celebrity diet and happily devoured stories about the happy couple.

But when the non-stop deluge of coverage continued unabated, I got bored. I tried to regain literary control. Admittedly it was near impossible to do amid the 24/7 onslaught of photos, fashion tips, gossip, and wedding planning updates. Still, I tried to focus on the important news of the day. And to some degree, I was successful. I know this, because just last week, Read more

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