A Spring Grab Bag of Silly Tidbits

I’ve got a lot on my mind! Fortunately, none of it is serious or consequential. More random and scattered  … like pollen … without the sneezing or itchy eyes! It’s a grab bag of assorted silly tidbits.  I’m ready to share. Here goes …

Silly Tidbits No. 1: Who’s Ready to Get “Certifiably” High?

Well, if you are, you could consider enrolling in one of the five (!) online cannabis certification programs offered by the University of Nevada, Reno (UNR).

The certification programs are in cannabis health care and medicine, cannabis agriculture and horticulture, the business of cannabis, cannabis compliance and risk management, and cannabis product development and design.

The six-month programs consist of three eight-week courses, including “Cannabis 101,” and two more focusing on the student’s selected subject focus.

Instructors provide course materials weekly, but students can complete the curriculum at their own pace and interact with their professor for questions and coaching.

Green Flower, a California cannabis curriculum company, provides the teaching materials to UNR through a partnership that began in 2021.

I know this is a serious academic pursuit and given that it is a growing, legal business, probably a good thing. BUT somehow it strikes me as hilarious. Can you imagine any of us telling our parents we were going to get “certified” in pot? My father would have had a certified heart attack on the spot!

And as for completing the curriculum at the student’s own pace, what are the options? Mellow? Spaced out and peace out, man? And really, what kind of coaching is required?

As for the course “materials?” I can only guess! Again, just picture asking dear Ole Dad for the money to pay for this “material!” “Oh, man, come on, Dad! Don’t be such a square. This is 100% legit. I need it for class!”

Silly Tidbits Continued: Cracking the Code

It may not rival life’s greatest mysteries like “Is there life out there?” or “Who wrote the Book of Love?” but learning a sure-fire, fool-proof (the fool being me) method to cracking an egg without bits of shell landing in the mixing bowl or batter is my life’s great obsession.

Some people watch sports. Some porn. Not me. I obsessively view YouTube videos seeking the perfect method to cracking the egg-cracking code. I’ve bought gadgets galore. All to no avail. And don’t get me started on separating yokes from whites. I am cracking up over these egg-shattering dilemmas!

Sill Tidbits No. 3: In the Nick of Time …

In a romantic moment this past weekend, I asked Handsome Hubby if there was anything I could do to be a more supportive, loving wife.

I had no hidden agenda. It was a sincere, from-the-heart question. He works hard. He is thoughtful and attentive. Constantly attends to unasked-for tasks and kindnesses for our family and friends. He’s a “keeper,” as my father said decades ago.

HH thought for a moment, smiled, and replied that nothing further was required. Then, he kissed me and resumed reading the newspaper.

After a minute, he looked up … warily … and asked if there was anything I required of him. (The man’s no fool. He knows a question asked is generally a question wanting to be asked in return!)

I laughed. “No, that wasn’t a trap. There’s no marital quid pro quo required here. All good for me too.”

On Second Thought

But hours later … I thought again and said, “Actually, there is one thing. When I ask you for tech help, I wish you’d be more patient.”

He nodded and said, “OK.”

This was an extremely fortuitous request, because that very night, my computer —the one I kept turning to him for help with — officially crashed and burned.

The next morning, we made a mad dash to the Apple store to buy a new one. Nothing is easy, of course. The transfer of data was a bear, requiring a second trip to the store and much grief. Through it all, HH was a perfect peach, patient and loving.

Yes, like my father observed, HH is a keeper.

Silly Tidbits No. 4: Meat Stick Munching

Americans spend more than $3 billion annually chowing down on Slim Jim’s and other varieties of meat sticks!

My reaction to this dietary news was twofold – nausea and curiosity!

For the life of me, I don’t think I have ever tried one of these weird processed products. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no stranger to the temptations of 7-Eleven. Who can resist a cherry-flavored Slurpee on a scorching hot summer day? Not me, sister. Certainly not me! I mean, there’s healthy and there’s the joy of a Slurpee.

Anyway, that $3 billion figure doesn’t even include the take for jerky. Meat stick aficionados are choosy! Jerky is sticky, and reaching into a bag is inconvenient!

Reportedly, meat sticks have celeb fans too! Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi partook of one during the Jan 6 riot, and actress Jennifer Lawrence brought them to the Oscars once upon a time.

To all this, I say, Oh my! Take me to a celery stick!

And now, I close. I’m hungry, but definitely not for a Slim Jim!

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