Handsome Hubby is Hot

HH is hot and happy. For him, it’s Christmas in July. Well, August. Of course, energy efficiency is the reason. He’s installing or more accurately having installed some fancy upgrades to our air conditioning system or HVAC system as the boys call it.

Now, you may wonder if there’s a problem with our current system. The answer is a resounding no. But it’s “old.” Nineteen years old and of course, in the world of energy efficiency, like in dog’s years, is ancient.

HH is Hot … Hot for Cool HVAC

So, HH aka Mr. Energy Efficiency has spent a ton of his energy researching the best HVAC options for our humble home. And it’s not like he has a ton of time to do this, but time he has taken, getting eight estimates and spending umpteen hours on research.

Finally, after two months of estimators trekking into our house, up and down the stairs, into the attic, and round and round the perimeter, HH picked a contractor.

In the process, somebody dislodged the wires to our fancy schmancy bathroom tub whirlpool which now starts at random intervals, often at 3 a.m. Do you have any idea what an empty whirlpool sounds like when it revs up? Well, it’s much like a 747 making an emergency landing right next to your head and bed!

It Ain’t Me, Babe

Now, finally, the big HVAC conversion is beginning. Hzzahh! Sound the trumpets!

In fact, just yesterday morning, the workmen were set to arrive, you would have thought it was our wedding day. Such was HH’s glee. He was positively a-glow. In bed, he turned to me and announced in a deep hushed voice, “I’m so excited.”

I, in turn, got excited. I thought there was going to be some rare, mid-week canoodling, but no way, Jose. Well, actually no way, James. (James is the name of the lead HVAC guy.) He had just texted Jon and was at the front gate and needed the code to get in. Yes, HH was hot to trot, but not with me!

My Happy Hubby

Now, HH is like a kid in a candy shop … or a puppy, following the HVAC-ers all around the house. Climbing ladders to look at HVAC-y things. Asking energy efficiency-type questions. Nodding in agreement.

All this leaves me shaking my head in wonderment, amusement and, I admit, a bit of annoyance. Doesn’t he have his own work to do? What the heck? I mean, whenever I ask for a mere minute or two of his time on a typical Monday-Friday, you would think I was asking Hercules to perform all 12 labours that instant!

Oh, well. I guess I should be content HH doesn’t count anniversaries in dog years or who knows he might be shopping around for a new, shinier, more energy-efficient model of a wife!

As for Me?

Still, when it comes to my appliances of choice — the washer and dryer, HH is oblivious. Those two appliances are as old as the on-their-way-out-the-door AC and they, to put it bluntly, suck. The washer’s definition of the delicate cycle is “Bah! Scrub up like a rug or die.” The dryer’s definition of dry is “Yeah, sister, whatever! When I get around to it.” The fact that I must run the dryer three times per load troubles Mr. Energy Efficiency, not an iota. This I do not understand. Maybe I should ask his assistant to schedule an appointment with him to explain it in terms he’ll understand … climate change, kilowatt usage, and avoidance of coal-fired power plants.

So Low Battery

Meanwhile, I’m going to have to cut this tale of animal husbandry, I mean husband husbandry short. My laptop battery needs to be charged and the HVAC guys have turned the power off. So, I’m running out of juice … as the energy boys might say.

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