It’s My Birthday and I’ll Ramble If I Want To!

It’s my 68th birthday. I’m not having a party, but I do have a few random thoughts on texting, cartoons, and not-so-complimentary compliments. And so, to paraphrase Leslie Gore’s 1963 hit song, “It (Not) My Party, and I’ll Ramble If I Want To.”

Ramble No. 1: Talk, Don’t Text, Please!

Why don’t people talk on the phone anymore? Almost everybody I know texts. I’m old-fashioned. I’m a talker. Call me. Call me anytime. Some friends hesitate, worrying they might be interrupting something important. Trust me: if the timing is inconvenient, I’ll let you know, or I won’t pick up the phone. Most likely the timing will be great. I love to chat, just like the pull-string doll Chatty Cathy.

Remember when there were just landline phones? Remember when there was no privacy, and we stretched … and stretched … and stretched … the phone cord, desperately seeking a quiet place to talk to our girlfriends and boyfriends? And remember how our parents yelled at us for tying up “the line?”

Now every member of the family has their own phone and privacy galore. Yet, ironically, we sit at the dinner table and tap, tap, text, text, text, text in front of one another.

Ramble No. 2: The Royal Barbie

I’m not a Royal Watcher, but this week a royal-themed toy caught my eye, making me smile most regally. The item in question: A “limited-edition” Barbie doll created in the image of Queen Elizabeth for her Platinum Jubilee.

Back in the day, I was a huge Barbie fan. I had multiple Barbies, a Ken, and a Skipper, the first of Barbie’s little sisters. But my day of playing with dolls ended long ago. These days, I’m simply long in the tooth!

Still, the Royal Barbie really is something. Too thin, as is always the case with these creations, but I say kudos to the Queen. I mean, honestly, Her Majesty has been through a ringer with that pesky brood of hers. The least she deserves is a “Barbie” in her image.

This regal dolly is the second Barbie that has captured my attention in recent months. The other was of 100-year-old fashion icon and entrepreneur Iris Apfel.

Iris’ Barbie is a fantastic fashion rendering, complete with an embroidered emerald Gucci suit, a ruffled collar, layered necklaces, color-blocked bangles, and her signature round, oversized glasses. I wrote about Iris a few months ago. You can read that story here. Iris, sans wrinkles, is the oldest woman, ever rendered as a Barbie.

Even though they erase the wrinkles erased and continue the practice of unrealistic waistlines, the makers of Barbie get credit in my eyes for coming up with some terrific women to represent these days.

Ramble No. 3: A Fun Cartoon

These days some of my favorite finds on Facebook are cartoons. Here’s one that made my chuckle: 

Ramble No. 4: If These are Compliments, No Thanks!

And to close out this blog post of assorted birthday rambles, here are two “compliments” (?) I’ve recently received.

The first came from a drunken 40-year-old man at a party. He leaned over a kitchen counter and said: “You’re a beautiful woman. You still …”

I beamed at the words “beautiful woman,” but when he got to “still,” I blanked out because the rest of his statement was a caveat about how I “still” looked good for an older woman.

It reminded me of the time long ago when a New York City cab driver peered intently into the rear-view mirror and said to my gorgeous, stylish mother, “You must have been quite a looker in your day.” My mother didn’t say anything, but when she got out of the taxi, she was clearly shaken.

“Compliment” Number Two came from a former beau at my recent 50th high school reunion. “Well, Karen,” he said. “You certainly have aged well.”

I thought of several replies I wanted to offer but didn’t. I’d share them with you, but honestly, they just aren’t printable! Couldn’t he have just said I look good … or that it was nice I had all my teeth?

“Aging” be damned! Guys, please! Either pay me a real compliment or don’t say anything at all!

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Happy birthday to all my fellow May babies.

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And for a nostalgic musical endnote, here’s Leslie Gore singing “It’s My Party And I’ll Cry if I Want To.”