50 Amazing Gifts I Don’t Want

I just read a list of “50 Amazing Gifts that Women Actually Want.” I thought it would provide some useful suggestions to pass along to Handsome Hubby, but I was wrong. It was actually a list of 50 gifts I don’t want. So, now I’m worried. Was something wrong with the list or is something wrong with me?

The list started off on a promising note. It broke down gift-giving into useful categories. Gifts “For the one who deserves peace and comfort” (Who doesn’t deserve peace and comfort?) and “For the one who loves getting their hair done.” (Who wouldn’t love getting their hair done especially after all these COVID sheltering-in-place days?)

Amazing Gifts I Don’t Want

Quickly, however, the list turned practical with ideas “For the home chef.” This kind of list I don’t need. If I need practical, I buy it myself. Slippers are not a gift. Underwear is not a gift. A robe, unless it is silk and super-pricey, is not a gift. Practical, I can buy for myself — guilt-free and usually, on sale.

Then, disturbingly, the list took an ugly turn for the snarky and the critical with suggestions “For the one who loves their couch” (Who doesn’t these days?), “For the simple one” (Is there now an IQ test for gift-giving and getting?), and “For the one who should cook more.” (Says who?)

And the harsh tone didn’t end there. There were suggestions “For the one who is always stressed,” “For the neat freak,” For the lazy neat freak,” and “For the one who uses too much plastic.” (Ouch!)

The Last Straw

And in case you’re wondering about the gift suggestion “For the one who uses too much plastic” — it’s the FinalStraw: a reusable straw “easy to use, carry, and clean” — available with case, cleaning brush, and 100% Silicone Tips … on Amazon for $19.95.”

Of course, I support the concept of protecting the environment by using less plastic, BUT if Handsome Hubby “gifted” me with a straw, it definitely would be the last straw! Straws are not gifts. They’re household goods. ‘Nuff said!

Just being Helpful

Now, Handsome Hubby is a busy man. So, I thoughtfully and thoroughly prepare a list each holiday season to make life easy for him. When we were younger (and more romantic), he’d buy me wildly expensive jewelry. It was sweet but unnecessary. Then he went through a gadget phase, buying me fancy high tech items I didn’t need or ever learned how to use.

All I ever wanted was a few CDs (yes, I am decidedly low tech), one of that cute make-up gift sets they sell around the holidays, some books, and maybe a pricey silk robe.

So, that’s when I came up with the idea of putting together my annual wish list. I’ve been doing it for years and holiday happiness has been ensured ever since!

Back to the Not So Amazing Gifts List at Hand

And while I didn’t see one single gift on the list I aspired to, three suggestions did make me smile:

18. “For the one who keeps asking about air fryers: Air fryers.”
(Really? Does someone keep asking about air fryers? They must be pretty starved for conversation.)

40. “For the one who hates jeans: Madewell Jeans.”
(Now, buying a gift you know someone hates … If that’s not the definition of passive-aggressive I don’t know what is.)

47. “For the one you live with: Peloton … because then you get to use it, too.”
(I admit as a strategy I support this, but typically I buy fun stuff to share like theater tickets or food, not exercise gear.)

Now What?

Well, I guess I need to wait for Neiman-Marcus’s Holiday catalog before preparing my own amazing gifts wish list for Handsome Hubby. But, oh, no! Didn’t N-M declare bankruptcy? Will there even be a catalog?

And if there’s no catalog, that raises another gift crisis. Each year, I buy a N-M fruitcake for Handsome Hubby. It is a tradition. Oh, dear! The holidays are getting more and more complicated. I’m too old. I cannot handle the stress and it’s only October 28th!

🎅 🤶

Comment, please! What do you think of the list? Are there “just for you” items listed? Do tell!