Pondering Long Life

Norman Lear just died at 101. God bless. Rosalynn Carter at 96 and Henry Kissinger made it to 100. Does the thought of such a long life thrill — or chill — you?

On a good day, it thrills me. The thought of more adventures, more time with family, more time to read … Yes, there is a lot to be said for living a long life.

But on a day, when I ache. I dunno … and I haven’t even hit the 70-year mark yet!

Long Life … for Pooches?

Still, as I ponder the pros and cons of living to a really ripe old age, I read with interest — and a bit of alarm — about a wonder drug to extend the lifespan of man’s best friend. That’s right, Bowser may soon have a designer drug to live longer.

The drug is still in the development stage. Even the name is hush-hush. The manufacturer declines to reveal it “for proprietary reasons.” However, the medication has met one of the requirements for “expanded conditional approval,” a fast-tracked authorization for animal drugs that fulfill unmet health needs and require difficult clinical trials.

While not available yet, the approval process could come in two (human) years This would enable the company, aptly named Loyal, to begin marketing the canine life-extender even before a large clinical trial is complete. Bow wow WOW!

“We’re going to be going for claiming at least one year of healthy life span extension,” Celine Halioua, Loyal’s founder and chief executive, told The New York Times.

Good for Dogs. Good for Me?

Whether the unnamed drug works is, of course, TBD. Still, if it’s good for dogs, I’m willing to bet a bootleg market for humans will soon follow! After all, if it’s good for Bowser, surely, it’s good for Betty, Bob, and by God, me!

So, watch out, Rosalynn, Norman, and Henry K. You lived long lives, but with the aid of a little canine helper, I may beat your records!

Still, I wonder — and worry. Will the warning label on my fantasy bootleg supply of canine life-extender meds read the following?

Beware: Possible side effects include whiskers, barking, scratching, and sudden, irresistible urges to chase cars — also, fleas.

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And sorry, cat lovers, I have no life-extender news for your furballs to report. “Achoo” is all I can say!

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In closing: If this tail, I mean, tale gave you a chuckle, please forward it to friends …
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