Trash Talk

How about a little trash talk of the non-political kind?

I am a half-glass kind of optimist. However, I am decidedly not a half-trash-can kind of housekeeper. In fact, I am barely a one-piece-of-trash-in-a-trash-can kind of housekeeper!

You may say it’s a curse or a compulsion. I say it’s a credo — a badge of pride. I am most decidedly my mother’s daughter AND my brother’s sister. We are/were a trio of neatniks. (My father, not so much. He belonged to a different tribe. A tribe of tricksters and hooligans. More on him in a minute.)

Marital Trash Talk

My husband also belongs to a different tribe.

Now, in general, Handsome Hubby is a tidy guy. He does not leave dirty socks strewn around the floor. He washes dishes and in general, picks up after himself. However, ….

He is, most decidedly, a half, even a mostly full kind of trashcan guy. He will let the bathroom trash can practically overflow with crumpled, nasty tissues before it occurs to him to empty it. In my opinion, this is disgusting. Unhygienic. GROSS. Most important of all, it is a violation of my maternal-sibling credo of empty trash cans.

Kitchen Trash Talk

As for the kitchen receptacle, which mercifully has a closed top, HH lets that sucker, brim, and stew to the top. If I ignore the fetid situation until it gets full, I can barely lift the bag to empty!

It’s a daily marital grievance that HH seems oblivious to!

Trash Pranks

Turning to my father, now he was a character.

Decades ago, when my hyper-facetious brother was first married, he gave my father a key to his apartment. When my father came to town, he would — devilishly and repeatedly — do the following:

• drop one cigar ash in each ashtray
• deposit one piece of trash in each garbage can, and
• tilt each picture hanging on the walls a fraction of an inch.

Finally, before leaving, he would leave a note saying, “Kilroy was here.”

I don’t know how many times he pulled this “endearing” stunt before my brother and/or sister-in-law changed the lock on the apartment door!

Back to the Present

Yet, while HH fails the indoor trash can task, he earns a consistent A+ on the essential weekly task of dragging the trash can and recycling bin to the curb on time! He never needs a reminder. So, there’s that to be grateful for. In years gone by, one of my kids had this responsibility. They made a “game” of it. It was no fun for me!

That’s it! That’s all the trash talk I’ve got! May all your relationship woes be similarly silly and slight!

♻️ ♻️ ♻️

So, here’s the question of the week:

Who takes out the garbage at your house?