Some Men Show Love with Hardware, not Hard Slaps

A Non-Will Smith Blog

Household hardware

While much of the nation is still obsessed with The Slap, Handsome Hubby is indulging in one of his obsessions — household hardware. The man is a drawer pull, knob, switch plate, and electrical outlet cover fanatic. Yes, this blog is about a man who shows his love with hardware, not hard slaps.

These days, after replacing EVERY light bulb with more energy-efficient ones in the house, HH is now changing virtually every cabinet and drawer handle with new ones. This isn’t a new pastime. He does this each time we’ve moved into a new house. As I said, it’s an obsession.

The Hard, Hardware Ritual

First, HH laboriously studies online catalogs for weeks on end. Then, he orders samples. Once they arrive, he installs them a la a fashion show catwalk. He next scrutinizes for days in various light settings — daylight, twilight, nighttime. Queries me as to my favorites. “I dunno,” I invariably say. “They kinda look alike to me.” He sighs and accuses me of being an uncaring, insensitive something or other. Then, picks his favorite(s) and orders dozens and dozens of them.

Of course, it’s no small task installing all those new shiny handles and knobs on all those kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room drawers and cabinets but HH is a man with a hardware mission!

It is also no small cost, even for a man with a Mr. Fix-It obsession. Happily, HH knows his spending limits. Although one night we almost met his budget match.

It was almost midnight, a time when even a man with sleek, mid-century modern tastes can be tempted by things on the wild, exotic side of the Internet hardware catalog. He blinked and there “she” was, flashing an almost irresistible “come hither” look, a sparkling little knob number with Swarovski “elements” from Carpe Diem Hardware. Available “NOW” in a variety of finishes for a mere $49.40! Her measurement was appealing 1 1/2″ in diameter.

HH could picture the handle in his hand — and on a cabinet — any cabinet. He almost pressed the buy button, but, just in time, stopped himself. Happily, My mid-century Mr. Fix-It stayed true to his design vision and his budget!

However, in case the sky’s the limit for your hardware buying desires, here’s the link. Carpe diem, as they say. And carpe the knob!

Meanwhile, HH is just getting started on those multiple electric outlet covers and switch plates. As for me? Well, I’ll see you on the other side of home improvements! Some time! Some day! But I ask you, is my Mr. Fix-it obsessive or not? Still, you must admire his dedication to making our home beautiful.

🎶 🎶 🎶

And a Musical Endnote – Pun Intended

I’m plugging along with “burning” my CDs. (Read here in case you missed the sad saga of my lost digital music collection.) I’ve just completed “ripping” all my Broadway albums, that’s cool tech talk for converting — for the second time — about 200 of my CDs to a digital format. Along the way, I’ve confronted such thorny philosophical questions as to whether to categorize Alice’s Restaurant as “country,” “musical,” or  “soundtrack.” And to think I call HH obsessive!

Next up: are my rock n’ roll CDs, spoken word, blues albums, etc., etc., etc. I should be done just about the time HH is done with the switch plate cover conversion … or in time for my 80th birthday!

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