“As we age …”
“I assume you’re retired.”
“It’s just part of the aging process.”
These phrases are part of my new — and offensive — normal, as I make my unmerry round of first-time doctor appointments in our new hometown. Read more
For at least a year now, I’ve noticed a problem with my eyes. No, that’s not specific enough. I’ve noticed a problem with my vision. No, that’s still not specific enough. For almost one year, I’ve had increasing trouble seeing. There. I’ve said it. I’m having trouble seeing. Read more
When I was a child, my Uncle George would grab my cheeks so hard I thought he’d lift me off the ground.
“Such a shayna punim,” he’d exclaim with joy. (The term is Yiddish. It literally means “pretty face” but colloquially means what a pretty girl.)
“Yes!” my parents would reply with equal joy.
At 6, I hated Uncle George as I rubbed my aching cheeks, and I hated my parents for allowing this unwelcome greeting. Read more
I’ve got the wildfire + mask-wearing + middle-aged blues. Yes, I’m a woman in a fashion rut. I need inspiration STAT. Read more
I ran into an old friend at Lowe’s this weekend. It was quite a surprise for two reasons. First, she lives in NYC, and second, she’s 100 years old. You just don’t expect to run into centennials in the paint section of a hardware store on a wildfire-fueled smoky Saturday in Nevada. But there she was, Iris Apfel. Read more
Last night, in bunion distress, I tossed out the last of my chic pointy high heels. My achy feet rejoiced, but my stylish soul cried out in despair. Later, seeking new comfortable shoes to buy, I discovered — to my extreme horror — crocs are still a thing!
They’re not just a “thing,” they’re proliferating — like mushrooms, mildew, and nuclear weapons. Read more
Sheltering-at-home baking. Sheltering-at-home Zoom meetings. And sheltering-at-home EVERYTHING has created a severe case of a sheltering-at-home chubby body. I need to do something STAT to shake up the doldrums and this lardy body surrounding them. Hey, I know. I need air guitar.
Now please don’t tell me to “Just go for a walk.” BORING. Read more
We all know the bittersweet nostalgia that comes with thoughts of beloved foods from childhood. But what feeling conveys — truly conveys — the feeling we get about recently discontinued products, like favorite cosmetics and toiletries?
Lately, manufacturers have stopped making multiple of my tried and true products. Oh, cruel companies! I’m a creature of habit. You’re rocking my world and NOT in a good way. Read more
Amid pressing national concerns, I’m dealing with yet another personal aging crisis — nail ridges. Happily, at least, I’ve found a song to accompany me in my misery.
The song? Read more
I used to love my morning shower. Bracing, yes. A refreshing pick-me-up and I’d emerge with shining hair. What could be better? But now? Now I’m older and wiser. I have the wisdom of age AND the Internet. I know better. Showers are dangerous to your health!
Yes, ladies, I say to you all, step away slowly and carefully! For your health and safety, step away tout de suite! Read more