The More, the Merrier?

For some long-married couples, the flames of passion may have faded. If you’re in that camp, you might be interested in joining a polycule. Don’t know what it is? Well, it starts with the idea that “the more, the merrier.” Intrigued? Amused? Worried? Read on!

Now, as a sedate middle-aged muddler, you will certainly be forgiven if you’re not familiar with the term polycule! I sure wasn’t.

The word combines two words: polyamory — engaging in multiple romantic relationships — and molecule.

It describes a complex set of close relationships between people with strong romantic, sexual, sensual, and platonic feelings.

I read about this hip, hot “arrangement” in a recent New York Times Magazine article which described a 20-member polycule. Twenty members! It boggles the imagination.

The More the Merrier?

Now putting aside any questions of morality you might have, let’s talk logistics.

On a bad day after a night of no sleep, I can barely stand myself! Imagine having to get along with a horde of lovers! Their quirks. Their likes and dislikes. Listening to their same old jokes. OMG.

And what about meal preparation? That must be a nightmare and a half. Who is allergic to what? Who is a vegetarian? Vegan? Who likes whole milk? Skim? It would be like Thanksgiving EVERY SINGLE MEAL!

And what about conversational sensitives and mood swings? Surely everybody doesn’t like/love everybody equally? And what about politics? Do you all have to belong to the same political party to belong to a particular polycule? How do you handle intra-polycule scrabble?

And don’t get me started on the subject of housekeeping! Ok. Do. Think of the never-ending chores. The dishes. The dirty socks on the floor.

And then, there’s the non-stop laundry. Oh, the laundry! The towels. The wash clothes.The bedsheets. Remember when the children were little and the washing machine seemed to run 24/7? This would be the same thing — only worse. Plus, there’d be all that sexy silk lingerie to hand-wash and drip-dry!

Finally, and this question is age-related, how do you remember everybody’s name and birthday? I can’t keep track of my cousins’ names and I’ve known them all my life!

So, I guess I’m just not a polycule kind of gal which, given my bad back and equally bad memory, is just as well. I’m sticking with HH — in sickness and in health. On the plus, non-polycule side, there’s less laundry and more than enough love to satisfy this middle-aged muddler!