Nutty to the Max

Allergy Alert! Do not read this blog if you are allergic to nuts, puns or have a low tolerance for silly stuff. Also, consider yourself warned: this blog is nutty to the max!

Let’s start with the facts: Planters Peanuts is hiring three “Peanutters” to escort Mr. Peanut across the country in its one-of-a-kind Nutmobile.

“Who or what is a “Peanutter?” you ask.

Well, first of all, it is a full-time one-year paid position.

“Go on,” you say with some slight new-found respect.

Job responsibilities include representing the Planters brand in media appearances and interviews.

Nutty to the Max

Peanutters also entertain fans at events across the country. What this entails I’m not sure. Cracking nuts over their heads? Dressing up as colorfully costumed nutcrackers? Dancing as nutcrackers in productions of Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s ballet,

The Nutcracker? That’s seasonal work at best.

But while I’m cracking jokes, Planters take this job search seriously.

Candidates must have a college degree, ideally in communications, marketing, advertising, or public relations. “A desire to travel, an appetite for adventures (and presumably peanuts — my two cents addition), and proficiency in nut-related puns” are also must-have requirements.

Applicants should submit a resume, cover letter, and a video describing why they would be a great Peanutter at BeAPeanutter.com by April 14.

Wait! What? By April 14? Oh, no!

Peanutter Hopes Deferred

I’m sorry. The application deadline has just passed! I’ve shelled out information on this tasty job opportunity too late. Too late that is for this year,

However, at least I’ve planted the seed for next year.

Now, all you Nutmobile lovers have an entire year to hone your nut pun skills and prep your resume to try for the Class of 2025  Peanutters!

And to help you get your punny-side going, I googled the phrase “nut puns.” To my amazement, I found enough sites to make you groan, grimace, and get a stomachache! You might say, I was shell-shocked.

Among the winners: “75+ Shell-Arious Nut Jokes That Walnut Disappoint.”

Nutty Puns

Here’s a sampling:

Who eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.

Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.

What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.

What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.

And with that goofiness delivered sans Nutmobile, I leave the world of Planters, puns, and nuts behind.

🥜 🥜 🥜

Till next time, I remain yours,

still Muddling through Middle Age, 

Karen