Laments About Arthritic Adventures

The Worst Part of Growing Old? Reading Glasses

Oh, My Aching Middle-Aged Eyes

Reading glasses are the worst part of growing old

Some people cannot find their phone. Others their keys. Me? It’s my reading glasses. I misplace them constantly and need them for everything. Oh, my middle-aged eyes. It’s just not fair. Yes, the worst part of growing old is reading glasses.

By the age of 12, I was blind as a bat. Then I got Lasik surgery and had perfect vision … for a time. Now, once again, I’m eye glass-dependent. I go nowhere without clutching my readers as tightly as those needing a cane to get by. Read more

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Madly in Love or Just Mad?

Danger Ahead: Valentine's Quiz

Lovers beware. I took a Valentine’s Day quiz to learn if my husband is “still utterly and totally in love.” The results? Let’s just say Handsome Hubby and I didn’t “ace” the test. In fact, it should have come with a warning: Danger Ahead!  Read more

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If I Ruled the World

Queen Me for a Day

If I Ruled the World

Ah, if I ruled the world and could be Queen … just like on that popular TV show of decades ago, Queen for a Day. I’d right some wrongs, enforce some rules, and, maybe settle a petty score or two! I mean what’s power if you can’t abuse it just a teensy bit, all the while wearing a tiara and robe, parked on a royal throne? Read more

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Marie Kondo Sparks No Joy in Me

Decluttering is Easy. Shopping is Hard.

Marie Kondo Sparks No Joy

Everybody is obsessed with Marie Kondo and downsizing their possessions, especially clothes. Not me. I want more clothes, not less. Sweaters. Blouses. Dresses. Cute shoes. But there’s a problem – I’m shopping adverse. I hate going to a Mall and I’m not finding much success shopping online.

I never liked shopping. Blame it on my mother. Of course. Read more

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Down the Graying Yellow Brick Road

Bring Your 8-Track Tapes and Geritol

Down the Graying Yellow Brick Road

Handsome Hubby and I took a trip down the (graying) yellow brick road this past weekend and oh, what a trip it was! More precisely, we went to see Elton John perform, part of his multi-city, multi-year “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” concert tour.

It was Handsome Hubby’s idea. He is a big Elton fan. I was too back in the day, but traveling down memory lane, spending lots of money to see aging rockers perform goldie oldies wasn’t my idea of a good time.

But HH wanted to go. So, off we went, memories (and pricy tickets) in hand, to the concert at Oracle Arena, home of the Golden State Warriors, in Oakland, Ca.

We jump-hobbled onto the BART (subway), where we were greeted by a sea of gray-haired seniors all bound for rock and roll glory! You would have thought there was an AARP Convention in town! Read more

Resolve to be Irresolute!

Avoid New Year's Guilt

Resolve to be Irresolute

Just one week into the New Year and I was already backsliding into bad habits faster than a first-time skier hitting the slopes.

Start that diet? Hard to do with all the holiday candy still casting its chocolaty come-hither glance at me.

Exercise? How, when I could hardly move from all that candy-gorging I’m doing 24/7?

Be a better person? Who was I kidding? That was never going to happen, sugar-rush or no sugar-rush.

So, just days into the New Year, I decided to drop the pretense. Skip the guilt. Avoid making – and breaking – those resolutions of yesteryears to eat less, exercise more, and be a better person. I decided to just hunker down and continue living in my usual slovenly, unhealthy, impatient way.

But then, I had an idea.   Read more

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Coffee Mug Addiction

Brother, can you spare a cup? 10? 20?

Coffee Mug Addiction

Coffee mug addiction. It is America’s not-so-hidden disease. It’s costly and dangerous AND no household is immune. Where once there was mere cabinet clutter, now there is a coffee cup contagion.

Be honest. Do you recognize a loved one in the following words and thoughts? Do you recognize yourself?

“Must stop.” Read more

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Ready to Holiday Party Hearty? Hardly!

A List of 7 Middle-aged Excuses Not to Party

Ready to Party Hearty? Hardly!

‘Tis the season to party hearty. But I must admit, now that I’m middle-aged, I not much of a party kind of gal. I’m more of a hot chocolate, asleep by 10:15 social clod.

So, what’s a sluggish middle-aged muddler supposed to do, now that the holiday party season, like a horde of ravenous locusts, has arrived? Hibernate in a cave? Take a vow of silence and retreat to a Zen-like monastery until January 2? Drag my sorry, sweat-suited derriere out the door and socialize till my cheeks ache and eyelids droop?

This year, I’m planning ahead. I’ve prepared a List of Seven Perfectly Plausible Middle-aged Excuses to Get Out of Holiday Festivities. Read more

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When in Doubt, Blame Science

The Latest Addition to the Pantheon of Excuses

When in doubt, blame science

Life is hard. When we do something wrong, we all fall back on excuses and blame others.

“The dog ate my homework.”
“My mother won’t let me go to the party.”
“The Devil made me do it!”

But now, move over dog, Mom, and Devil. We have a new scapegoat to blame and shame, and it goes by the name of Science. Read more

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Vietnam and Cambodia: Trip Impressions

Two Middle Age Muddlers on a SE Asian Adventure

My dear Middle-age Muddlers,

Handsome Hubby and I are back from our 16 days in Vietnam and Cambodia. The laundry is whirling away in the washer and dryer. So, I thought I’d sit down and respond to the request from a number of readers asking for a recap of our travels. Read more