To-Die-For To-Do List!

Oh, my! You know you’ve reached a certain age when you need an easy-access file folder for miscellaneous funeral planning. You know, a to-die-for to-do list.

I’m not talking about the prudent, long-term, important material, such as the file where you keep your advance directive or information about cemetery plots. Instead, I’m referring to the nitty-gritty details, such as which prayers you want recited when you pass or little last-minute items you’ve thought of after finalizing your will.

Not to be morbid or punny, but in just the past two days, two such to-die-for details came up. The first came compliments of Handsome Hubby.

Apropos of absolutely nothing, he turned to me while dining out and said, “You know, I’d really like that Joan Baez song, ‘Carry It On,’ played at my funeral. Please be sure to do that.”

“Huh? Roger that. Now, please pass the bread.”

My mind spun.

What brought that on? Was the dinner not to his liking? Was the soup too salty? The service too slow? Or pardon the pun, was it to die for?

I still have no idea what prompted that out-of-the-blue tap-out tune request, but it left me with a huge dilemma: How do I remember it? Where should I “file” it? Certainly not in my brain. That’s like a sieve.

And besides, what if I die before Handsome Hubby? Will he remember to pass along this funerarial melodic request to our kids? And even if he does, can you count on them to deliver? I think not!

So, again, where do I file this information? Placing it in my “pending” email file seems wrong. That’s the folder I use for short-term reminders like “pick up the cleaning on Thursday” and for show tickets. I certainly don’t want to file morbid future to-die-for details in the same place I track fun events. Good Lord, no!

More Last Minute To-Die-For To-Do Dilemmas!

My second “don’t-know-where-to-file it funeral note came ironically from a lighthearted magazine. It offered a charming list of suggested memorial donations die-hard New Yorkers can make to benefit the Big Apple.

Sadly, I no longer live in NYC, but in my heart and soul, I remain a Broadway Baby. So, the idea of having my name on a bench at the botanical gardens, a chair in the New York Public Library’s central branch, or a book in the library system brings a smile to my face. And so, now, by gosh, since I cannot have my name emblazoned on a Broadway marquee, I want it stamped for all eternity on an NYC bench and book!

But again, where in blazes am I supposed to make note of this desire? I cannot update our end-of-life documents every time a new death-defying whim pops into my head. That would be time-consuming and costly.

So, what to do? Where to keep these random and now seemingly increasingly frequent idle bits of new post-mortem thoughts HH and I have about our eventual mortality?

The logical answer is an easily accessible file entitled “Updated/Additional End-of-Life Notes and Wishes”, but man, oh, man, that’s so depressing! Isn’t there a perkier title for this folder, especially since it needs to catch our children’s eye in a timely manner? What to label it?

Oh, I know …

Money $$$

Or maybe …

BIG Family Secrets. DON’T OPEN THIS FOLDER. DESTROY!!!

Yeap! That’ll get their attention!