Social Distancing for Spouses

Shelter at home is the order of the day. Social distancing is the medically recommended norm when outside. Now, for marital harmony, I believe we urgently need a directive advocating social distancing for spouses INSIDE the home.

Yes, with everybody staying home right now, things are getting a little close for comfort. Even the happily married agree there’s only so much togetherness a couple can stand!

Here in the San Francisco Bay, we’re on Day 30 of the shelter at home order. That’s 30 days of non-stop living up close and personal with Handsome Hubby, and all I can say is living la Vida Loca with HH is driving me loca. And in all fairness, he says — well, mutters under his breath — the same thing about me.

We eat together ALL THE TIME.

We watch HIS (dopey crime caper) TV shows EVERY NIGHT.

And we eat HIS vegan food EVERY MEAL.

I listen to him talk LOUDLY into his headset to clients ALL DAY LONG.

Social Distancing for Spouses

In the good old days, when people could go outside, HH traveled too much for work, meeting clients all across the country and world, giving speeches, and attending conferences. Although I complained about it, his traveling provided for some real quality “me” time. I got to catch up on “my” TV shows. I got to go to sensitive, subtitled foreign films. Most wonderful of all, I got to go out for dinners with my girlfriends and eat red meat to my belly’s content. Oh, sweet, not-sheltering-at-home freedom!

Now the backlog of This is Us episodes is so long, I fear I’ll never catch up before somebody spills the beans or I read spoilers. Yet, I worry, truly worry. Will battling brothers Kevin and Randall really have a relationship-ending fight? As the baby sister to three brothers, this idea is devastating.

And, as for my red meat cravings, I’m beginning to understand how the Donner Party felt traversing the Sierra Mountains in the dead of winter. Sometimes when HH sleeps, I eye him and … Oh, let’s not go there. I know it’s wrong.

And That’s Not All

In addition to my grievances over the lengthy list of things we do HH’s way ALL THE TIME, I have a list of tasks he NEVER performs. For example, he NEVER:

• Empties the trash cans in the bathroom, bedroom or his office.
• Empties the little vase of flowers I put on his desk, even after the flowers have dried out.

In addition, he NEVER …

Give me a second.

He NEVER …

Wait … Just another second.

He NEVER …

Well, huh. That’s it. That’s my entire list of grievances — two measly gripes!

After 33 years of marriage — plus five years of dating — plus 30 days of sheltering-in-place, that’s the sum total of my grievances. That’s it. Huh!

My Forever Shelter

Yes, after all that time, I have to admit HH actually is pretty darn perfect. Sure, we’ve had our marital ups and downs, but the truth is he’s a keeper. And, if I didn’t know that before living, working AND doing EVERYTHING together non-stop at-home for 30 days and counting is proof-positive!

And as for my alleged “flaws?” Oh, they are so minor, they’re scarcely worth mentioning. A little nagging? Perhaps. But rarely and only about the damned trash cans. Do I have a tendency to make snarky comments? Well, yes, but only when forced to watch TV shows like NCIS, NCIS LA, and Seal Team? Ladies, can you blame me? Do I whine? Well, yes. I admit whole-heartedly to that “crime.” I whine loudly about wanting steak and burgers. But only at lunch and dinnertime!

So, as you can see, aside from a few hiccups here and there, we’re living in perfect sheltering-in-place harmony. In fact, we’re busy making plans for post-pandemic vacations. We haven’t finalized anything yet. Only one thing is certain — He’s going South and I’m heading North!

📔 📔 📔

A FINAL NOTE

Please be sure to check out my COVID Chronicles: A Sheltering-in-Place Journal. You can find it on my Facebook Muddling through Middle Age page or on my website homepage. You can even subscribe to my COVID Chronicles and receive the daily journal entry in your inbox!