My Face Has Gone to the Dogs

More Bow Wow than Wow

My face has gone to the dogs

When I was a child, my Uncle George would grab my cheeks so hard I thought he’d lift me off the ground.

“Such a shayna punim,” he’d exclaim with joy. (The term is Yiddish. It literally means “pretty face” but colloquially means what a pretty girl.)

“Yes!” my parents would reply with equal joy.

At 6, I hated Uncle George as I rubbed my aching cheeks, and I hated my parents for allowing this unwelcome greeting. Read more

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Some Say Whip It! Others Say Nay

Whip It Good? No Way!

Whip it

“Whip it good,” sang popular rock group DEVO in 1980, but today a group of downtown Reno residents is singing a different tune.

They say whips — yes, whips, the things cowboys typically use on horses — aren’t good for human bodies, souls, and most important of all, sleep. And the local PD agrees, Read more

My New Career

Fellow Eaters, Take Note!

My New Career

Attention, fellow middle-aged muddlers,

I’m excited to inform you I’m starting down a new career path. Read more

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Wanted: One Demiurge

Look It Up. You'll Want One Too

Wanted: One Demiurge

I want a demiurge — Greek for a subordinate god who shapes and arranges the physical world to conform to some rational and ideal shape.

Now, I’m not trying to get all philosophical on you. Believe me. I don’t know my Plato from a plate of pasta fagioli, but I desperately need someone to bring order to my disorderly universe, and well, if it was good for the Greeks, then it sounds good to me. Read more

Woman in Fashion Rut

Seeking Inspiration STAT

I'm in a fashion rut

I’ve got the wildfire + mask-wearing + middle-aged blues. Yes, I’m a woman in a fashion rut. I need inspiration STAT. Read more