We all know the expression “Pride goes before the fall.” Well, in my case, I took “the fall” big time this Fall season
It began last January when I set a loosey-goosey goal of reading “a lot” of books in 2024. It started when I saw an article about Super Readers, which sounded super impressive. I didn’t bother actually to read the article, but on the spot, I decided I would become one too. It wasn’t prudent of me. The devil — and the pride — is always in the details! Read more
Pity poor me! I suffer from a multitude of name woes. From a last name that’s unpronounceable to a first name that is widely mocked, I suffer from the slings and arrows of moniker misfortune! Read more
How about a little trash talk of the non-political kind?
I am a half-glass kind of optimist. However, I am decidedly not a half-trash-can kind of housekeeper. In fact, I am barely a one-piece-of-trash-in-a-trash-can kind of housekeeper!
You may say it’s a curse or a compulsion. I say it’s a credo — a badge of pride. I am most decidedly my mother’s daughter AND my brother’s sister. We are/were a trio of neatniks. (My father, not so much. He belonged to a different tribe. A tribe of tricksters and hooligans. More on him in a minute.) Read more
“Faces and Places.” The title comes from a gentle, sentimental Tom Paxton song written decades ago. Yet, it now comes to mind in a completely different context. Read more
Throw in "Easy to Return" and It Really is a Magical Retail Moment
Most girls go gah-gah when their guy whispers “I love you.” While those words are sweet, I, a die-hard New York shopaholic, prefer a man who murmurs a decidedly different set of magic words: “I can get it for you wholesale.” Better still, if he — tall, dark, and a retailer, proclaims he can provide two-day free delivery, I’m all his. If not, I’m just as likely to shout in my best Brooklynese, “fuggedaboudit.” Read more
We just weathered a wildfire evacuation alert. We were warned that come morning, we’d likely need to leave our home. I prepared for the worst, loading the car with clothes, medicine, and irreplaceable photos and mementos. Thanks to the skill of firefighters, we didn’t have to leave. Still, afterward, there were consequences! I faced a choir of wildfire evacuation critics, who complained my emergency packing measures fell short of “their” expectations! Read more
Some people ponder big philosophical questions — the meaning of life, who wrote the book of love. Weighty stuff like that. Me? I’m stuck sweating the small stuff. What’s the difference between a large and a small shallot? Can I refreeze meat I’ve already taken out of the freezer? And do you have to rinse dishes before loading the dishwasher? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/woman_question_mark_person_decision_thoughtful-1080572.jpgd-2.jpeg356475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-09-04 08:01:142024-09-03 17:58:49Sweating the Small Stuff
It’s truth. My kid won’t call, but my doctor won’t quit. He’s relentless. Texting. Emailing. Calling. Nonstop reminders about upcoming appointments. He’s a regular pain in the neck! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/106193803-too-many-messages.jpg290449Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-08-14 08:01:492024-08-13 19:15:59My Kid Won’t Call, but My Doctor Won’t Quit
Some spouses argue over sex or socks on the floor. Not us. We constantly squabble over salad. Yes, it’s the sad and sordid truth. We are sorry salad squabblers. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Mixed_green_salad-3-3.jpg450450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-07-17 08:01:402024-07-16 10:12:03Battle of the Sexes? No, Battle of the Salads!
Infestations continue to rule my life. First, came the neighborhood creepy crawling caterpillars and snakes. Then, came the fungus gnats swarming my beloved indoor plants. Now, I face the most insidious infestation of all. My Facebook feed is overrun with cats, kittens, and German shepherds. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/FB-Al-copy.jpg301450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-07-03 08:01:342024-07-03 09:10:10Overrun with Cats and Kittens
It’s the start of Week Four after (double) foot surgery and while the pain is finally starting to subside, definitely don’t ask me. I won’t/can’t dance.
“Double foot surgery?” you query, wondering rightly whether I have a screw (or a shoelace) loose. Read more
Sometimes, Ladies, there is no greater joy than giving your guy grief. I mean the joy of a good “I told you so” is a thing of beauty. Am I right or am I right? Of course, I’m right! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/McD_Copy.jpg304450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-06-05 08:02:172024-06-04 12:58:26Giving Your Guy Grief
I thought I was a super sipper when I switched from plastic to paper straws. Hooray for the environment. Hooray for me. But now, alas, there’s more bad news for sippers. Straws may cause wrinkles. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/birthday-cake-birthday-cake-dessert-preview-copy.jpg298450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-05-15 08:05:122024-05-15 08:36:38Today is My 70th Birthday
For some long-married couples, the flames of passion may have faded. If you’re in that camp, you might be interested in joining a polycule. Don’t know what it is? Well, it starts with the idea that “the more, the merrier.” Intrigued? Amused? Worried? Read on! Read more
Allergy Alert! Do not read this blog if you are allergic to nuts, puns or have a low tolerance for silly stuff. Also, consider yourself warned: this blog is nutty to the max! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Nutty-to-the-Max.jpg251450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-04-24 08:01:412024-04-24 09:03:03Nutty to the Max
It’s been quite a run. In just three months, I’ve accomplished two, count them, two lifetime dreams — seeing the Northern Lights AND traveling to The Netherlands. And it’s all thanks to you know who — Handsome Hubby. That’s why I’m writing ANOTHER blog in praise of HH.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/71RBNHzUtYL._AC_UF10001000_QL80_.jpg646475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-04-03 08:01:232024-04-03 09:06:23Done and Done. Two Lifetime Dreams in Three Months
The trip was one-part anniversary present, one-part dream travel destination. Most of all, it was a long, longed-for spiritual re-connection with my father gone from my life for almost 40 years. The trip: to witness the Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights. Read more
It’s been quite a week, both glorious and hard. We just returned from an amazing anniversary journey to witness the famed Northern Lights which was a long-time dream of mine. However, the return home was marked by multiple epic fails, most of my own doing. Here are just a few of the lowlights. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Epic-Fail-1.jpg300450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-02-21 08:01:182024-02-20 13:26:43Epic Fails. In the Gym. In the Kitchen.
When I was young, I sniffed and sneered at the idea of plastic surgery. Now that I’ve reached what is politely called “a certain age,” I’m not so sure. At 69, my jowls have headed south, and my neck waddle rivals a turkey. As a result, I’ve become plastic surgery curious. Very curious. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Plastic-Surgery.jpg309475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-02-07 08:01:412024-02-05 13:26:55Call Me Plastic Surgery Curious
I recently saw a list of 55 household items mature women should throw out. It was a curious grab bag featuring futons, wire hangers, and souvenir shot glasses. Useful suggestions (I suppose), but lacking in deep, meaningful advice we older women need So, to correct that omission, here are my 3 Things Older Women Should Ditch ASAP! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Utter_Clutter-Copy.jpg356475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-01-24 08:01:332024-01-23 13:29:423 Things Older Women Should Ditch ASAP
I’m not much of an animal lover. I’m scared of dogs. Allergic to cats and during my parenting years, I witnessed the demise of too many goldfish, gerbils, and hermit crabs to count. So, it is with the greatest irony I find myself identifying with — no, make that, jealous of — one creature in the vast animal kingdom.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Manchot_01-copy-1.jpg345400Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2024-01-10 08:01:222024-07-18 09:44:43A Champion Napper Meets Her Match
Norman Lear just died at 101. God bless. Rosalynn Carter at 96 and Henry Kissinger made it to 100. Does the thought of such a long life thrill — or chill — you? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/long-life-copy.jpg300450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-12-13 08:01:352023-12-13 10:39:49Pondering Long Life
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Thirty-seven-years-2.jpg388400Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-12-06 08:01:592023-12-05 19:36:31Thirty-Seven Years Ago
It’s the holiday season, the time when most peoples’ minds and tummies turn to shopping and food. Not me. Devilish December signals my full-blown seasonal book angst. You think I’m kidding? Read on. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Book-angst.jpg317475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-11-29 09:08:022023-11-29 09:07:08Devilish December Book Angst.
Last week I detailed a lengthy list of gifts I don’t want for the holidays. This week, I turn to the gifts I do want. It’s a shorter list, but it’s pricy. So, hold on to your wallets and buckle up. It’s a doozy! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Gifts-I-want.jpg300450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-11-15 07:01:402023-11-15 07:15:45Gifts I DO Want
From a lip gloss labeled “Unicorn Snot” to other assorted weird what-nots, holiday gift lists are dropping like hotcakes. In response, I’ve prepared a list of eight items I definitely don’t want … and I’m pretty sure you won’t either. Take a peak and see.
When did food become Public Enemy No. 1? We’re constantly in food fights with ourselves (the eternal battle for self-control) or occasionally, consciously or not, we’re subverting the diets of the ones we love. Why they’re even having food fights in our nation’s Capitol!
My grandmother was a great cook. My mother was a great cook. So were my sisters-in-law. Handsome Hubby is a whiz in the kitchen. I, on the other hand, am a well-known cooking klutz.
My mother and grandmother tried to teach me the culinary arts, sharing prized family recipes. My sisters-in-law gave me cookbooks. And HH misguidedly took me on “romantic” date-night cooking classes. All epic fails! Read more
Like many people of a “certain age,” Handsome Hubby scans the daily newspaper obituary notices. He signs, moans, and groans when he learns of the passing of yet another classmate or long-ago colleague. I used to roll my eyes. “How long has it been since you spoke to them or even thought of him/her?” I would say unsympathetically. But the other day, he shared the obituary of a man I had never met. It brought me to tears. The obituary detailed an epic passing — one that Handsome Hubby and I now aspire to! Read more
From childhood on, we are taught not to lie. Yet, in my increasing decrepitude, I realize I increasingly lie … and that is the truth! Yes, liar, liar. My pants are on fire! Read more
I’ve been navel-gazing — all in the name of science, and I’ve learned a lot about belly button lint. Of course, I want to share. So, buckle up, my friends, for this first-ever Muddling through Middle Age, SCIENCE EDITION! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/belly-button.jpg286450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-09-06 08:01:252023-09-05 11:37:48Belly Button Lint and the Ig Nobel Prizes
Here’s something different! Just for fun in keeping with these lazy dog days of summer, I thought I’d offer something different … a somewhat visual collection of signs, slogans, and jokes I’ve collected that gave me a tickle. Now I hope they give you one too.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/beach-dog-water-ball-copy.jpg356475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-08-30 08:01:562023-08-29 09:28:24Celebrating the Dog Days of Summer
It’s the end of summer and I’m feeling restless. Discontent. Work-a-holic Handsome Hubby won’t take a vacation. All I do is slouch around, wearing baggy sweatpants and jeans. Clearly, I’m in a rut. What to do? Based on reading People Magazine, the “only” solution to my summer ennui is to marry a mega-star and become a super-hot celebrity wife. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/rs_1200x1200-210913163856-1200-Stephen-Curry-Ayesha-Curry-2021-Met-Gala-Red-Carpet-Fashion-Arrivals.cm_.91321-copy-2.jpg388400Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-08-23 08:01:292023-08-22 10:16:20I Want to be a Celebrity Wife
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/360_F_195570669_snUhTFxOGHoWQk1GeXHErTbk9kTq4Z9m.jpg360360Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-08-09 08:01:412023-08-08 09:42:51Handsome Hubby is Hot
There must be something in the water! For the past week, there’s been absolute warfare in the pool at my gym. I kid you not. The matronly “ladies” in my Aqua Fitness class have been more focused on throwing fits than actual fitness. It’s downright disturbing! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Something-in-the-water.jpg267475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-08-02 08:01:322023-07-31 17:33:42Something in the Water
I keep reading articles stressing the importance of resilience as we age and believe me, I’m not knocking its value. But two weeks ago, I was reminded about the need for another trait — courage. Read more
It’s not quite the Homeowners’ Association from Hell, I grant you that, but still, ours is a pip. Its non-stop “well-meaning” intrusiveness is enough to make Handsome Hubby and I swear, “Never a HOA again.”
Happily, we live in an email world. So much of this HOA contact comes via a blizzard of electronic messages.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/HOA.jpg317475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-07-12 08:01:172023-07-10 11:47:48Never a HOA Again
Young moderns face a maze of dating conundrums that we muddling middle-agers luckily avoided. Dating apps, a smorgasbord of scary social diseases we never heard of, and casual sexual practices that make me cringe. Yet, some things about dating remain the same — relationship red flags! You know, glaring — blazing — warning signs that a potential partner is a mega-no-no.
Still, today, life and dating seem more complicated, and youngins not only have red and green flags to signal relationship status in their social media conversations, they’ve also added “beige flags” to the online conversation mix. Read more
I called my 31-year-old son the other day. His first words were, “What’s the matter? What’s wrong now?”
Does he perceive that I am always the bearer of bad news? Yikes! Is he right? Am I always calling with bad news? Worse yet, is there only bad news to convey? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/lily-tomlin.jpg.webp425420Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-06-14 08:01:322023-06-12 18:08:31The Bearer of Bad News? Not I!
Naked dressing. It seems to be a contradiction in terms. Yet, from the catwalks of Milan to the Oscars and the Met Gala, all the gorgeous gals are doing it and I say it’s high time we fleshy middle-aged muddlers jump on the fashion bandwagon and dare to go (nearly) bare! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/naked-dress-trend-235775-1631548582933-image.500x0c-3.jpg394325Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-06-07 08:05:192023-06-06 17:31:09Dare to Go Bare
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Slap-fighting-1.jpg300450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-05-24 08:02:062023-05-24 09:26:19Slap Fighting is a Thing. What Kind of Thing?
I may be wading into dangerous waters but for the love of Lassie, America’s pet mania has gone too far! From hipster Brooklyn to my former beloved near-neighborhood, silly San Francisco, they —more specifically — restaurants have gone to the dogs with specialty menus and cocktails for Bowser and Spot!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Birthday_parties_are_fun-copy.jpg422450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-05-10 08:01:202023-05-09 16:52:31Restaurants Go to the Dogs
I couldn’t sleep. I started randomly googling names of former colleagues, old friends, and long-lost relatives. In the process, I discovered three disturbing facts which leads me to this advice: do not google anyone’s name! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Do-Not-Google-My-Name.jpg317475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-05-03 08:01:332023-05-02 21:43:35Do Not Google My Name
I’ve got a lot on my mind — a lot! From adults dressing up like Disney characters to Peeps-favored Pepsi and governments that cannot communicate clearly! It’s time for a dose of this and that. Are you ready? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/s-l500.jpg500500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-04-26 08:01:232023-04-25 13:54:22This and That
Remember my battle with the fungus gnats? Well, I’m proud to report that they are no longer among us! However, my plants are now mad at me. In fact, it’s possible my plants are trying to kill me! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Plant-2-1.jpg412450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-04-12 08:01:402024-07-18 10:19:32My Plants are Killing Me
I am honored to be writing today as Muddling through Middle Age’s first guest columnist. I am especially honored to be writing about my wife, Karen Galatz, the BEST wife EVER! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Best-Wife-Ever-2.jpg400400Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-04-05 08:01:362024-07-18 10:17:48Karen is the BEST Wife EVER!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Cropped.jpg285319Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-03-29 08:01:462023-03-29 14:00:58Marching Forward with My March Diet
Handsome Hubby and I have been happily married for 36 years but since moving to Reno, Nevada, I’ve begun casting a wandering, lustful eye at my neighbors to the left and to the right. The reason? Size matters!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Rordin_The-Thinker.jpg356475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-03-01 08:01:172023-02-28 10:34:35The Brains of the Family
I’m in a doomed relationship with Physics. Yes, Physics, the science of the nature and properties of energy and matter. In short, the science of everything. For decades, I’ve tried to learn the basics, only to give up baffled and defeated. If you, like me, have a subject or skill you long to master, I’m sure you can relate. Now, old, I still try — as Olivia Newton-John suggested in a song, — to “Get Physic-al.” Read more
Domestic calamities come in all sizes and shapes. This one, I grant you is small, but since I am a writer who believes all molehills can be made into mountains — or at least blogs, please read my sad saga of the gnats that plague my plants, my house, indeed my very soul. Read more
It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I cannot believe it. To my horror, I’ve become that kind of woman. You know the kind. The kind that wants practical, not romantic gifts! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Valentines-Day.jpg315475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-02-08 08:01:062024-07-18 10:17:48Valentine’s Day Gift Wishes
I’m from NYC, so you’d think I’d be used to crowds but somehow when it comes to my Aqua Fitness class, I’m in a league — and lane — of my own. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/aqua-fitness.jpg333500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-02-01 08:01:012023-01-30 11:45:43Updates from My Aqua Fitness Class
“All the News Not Fit to Deliver.” That PLUS “customer service be damned” should be the new motto of both my beloved New York Times and the local newspaper here in Reno, Nevada.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/paperboy2-copy.jpg396500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2023-01-18 09:05:252023-01-18 11:55:59All the News Not Fit to Deliver
I like to get my New Year’s resolutions stated, started — and failed — early. That way I can begin the new year with my guilt gone and sense of order intact. “Same old. Same old me” is my mantra.
We all know exercise is good for you, at least that’s what the experts say. But I’m beginning to have my doubts. And fitness slacker that I am, I dare to pose the question: Read more
So many great programs to watch at home these days, but accessing them is an exercise in channel confusion. Every time I pick something to view, I discover it’s only available on a streaming service we don’t subscribe to.
The problem — and my frustration — is especially acute Read more
Thanksgiving is over. Cyber and store sales are in full swing. Time to write my holiday gift list. I’m not talking about my holiday gift-giving list. I’m talking about my gift-getting list. Oh, as I like to call it, my “Really, Really Want, Gotta Have, Pretty Please, If you Love Me” gift-getting fulfillment list. Read more
Happy Thanksgiving, my dear Muddling through Middle Age friends,
In the midst of grocery shopping and cooking (including my own first-time solo baking of pies), I’m pausing to give thanks — thanks to all of you for coming along on this mostly humorous writing journey through our almost-oldster years. Your comments, your emails, and most of all, your support mean the world to me. I hope you’re enjoying my blog half as much as I am writing it!
From Handsome Hubby and myself, Much joy, health, and happiness to you as we begin this festive time of year.
Until next week, I close this message with just one word — gratitude.
I’ve got a nasty case of the wintertime blues. It’s leaving me feeling old, fragile, and unfit. But I’m a fighter, a take-charge kind of woman. So, I’m not down for the count. Now, in my latest attempt to win the Battle of Old Age, I’m taking drastic new steps — more precisely new laps. Will I sink or swim? That is today’s question. Read more
I’ve been down in the dumps for some time — not about everything, just about one big topic. My world has grown smaller or at least, the number of people I hold dear has grown fewer.
I’m not talking about the passage-of-time fewer people, the deaths and the distance that occur as we age. That sadly is to be expected.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/email-copy.jpg359475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-11-09 08:01:192022-11-08 12:32:20A Delightful Blast from the Past
Most days we worry about our lack of privacy. Our devices listen to our conversations. Yes, I’m talking about you, Siri and Alexa. Online our interests and purchases are being tracked. Yes, Target and Nordstroms, I’m talking about you. This week, however, I faced a different sort of privacy problem. Nameless gatekeepers were protecting my privacy from me! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/privacy-copy.jpg333500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-10-26 08:01:062022-10-25 20:12:44Protecting My Privacy … from ME!
Lately, I’ve taken to saving articles I’m too tired to read for a later date. The topics of the articles? How to get a better night’s sleep! Ironic, no? I’m too tired to read articles about how to get enough sleep! So, sadly, I remain a woman seeking sleep solutions STAT! Read more
Produce Stickers, Matching Manicures, Fat Bear Week
It’s mid-October. Time for my seasonal house and office cleaning. That includes a long overdue review of my overflowing e-folder of pending story ideas. As usual, it’s chock full of juicy tidbits that didn’t quite make it to full-blown stories but are too “delicious” to discard without sharing. So, without further delay, here’s a sampling of odd odds and ends. Read more
A Sentimental Blog about Short-Order Cooks and My Father
When I was 12, I had a terrible ear infection. We had just moved across the country to a new town. I didn’t know anybody, couldn’t go to school, was in pain, had balance problems, and was just miserable. But I found weekly salvation in the kindness of a short-order cook and my father. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Short-order-cook.jpg436500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-09-28 08:01:302022-09-28 14:35:19In Praise of a Short-Order Cook
We’ve had a Sani-Hut “parked” in our driveway for the past three weeks. It’s not attractive, I admit, but the workmen installing new windows and a garage door appreciate it. Our neighborhood homeowners association? Less so. Read more
Growing up, I chafed under three parental fashion edicts — no tattoos, no pierced ears, and no torn jeans with frayed edges or holes. Oh, the life of a suffering teenager! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/torn-jeans.jpg332500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-09-07 09:05:172022-09-07 09:00:33Torn Jeans, Tattoos and Other Taboos
Ah, the joys of carry-on luggage. What fits? What doesn’t? What’s allowed? What isn’t? What don’t you mind having scanned? What’s too embarrassing? It almost takes the fun out of traveling! Here to help — me and the good old New York Times!Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/tsa-dup.jpg401534Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-08-31 08:01:072022-08-31 09:19:22Carrying on about Carry-on Luggage
My struggles with sleep apnea continue. I got a CPAP machine in the Fall but cannot get acclimated to it. I just came back from an appointment to consider getting the Inspire™ implant (more on that in a moment) and all I can say is: I’m not inspired. So, I’m still exhausted and cranky. My kingdom for a good night’s sleep! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/PrincessAuroraSleeps-copy.jpg7571000Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-08-17 12:15:132024-07-18 09:44:43My Kingdom for a Good Night’s Sleep
Each month I haunt the mailbox, eagerly awaiting the latest edition of my favorite home decorating magazine. I thrill flipping through the pages. Yet, even then, my desire isn’t satisfied. Sadly, I’m a home decorating magazine addict, craving more and more. Read more
Nobody likes a hater. That is true. But I confess, I’m a red-hot, fumble-fingered hater when it comes to self-checkout machines. I say, “Down with the machines and hear, hear for the cashiers and baggers of the world!” Read more
Oh, what a week! It was, in fact, a no good, rotten, stinky week. I was supposed to be in NYC for the first time since the pandemic. I was supposed to see two Broadway shows. Supposed to see an exhibit of theater memorabilia. Supposed to see one of my best friends. And most important of all, I was supposed to attend my niece’s graduation.
I was supposed to do all that and I couldn’t. The worst part: the reason I couldn’t travel was my own fault. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/9780689711732-us.jpg385500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-07-27 08:01:322022-07-27 10:02:00It was a Bad, No Good, Rotten, Stinky Week
Why do women love to take baths and men view them as something akin to waterboarding? This I do not understand. Yet, statistically speaking, it’s so. Most men don’t do baths, viewing them as “girly” and a waste of time.
Now, before you flood my inbox (and my bathroom) with protests to the contrary, Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/man-in-a-tub-scaled.jpg17032560Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-07-13 08:01:362022-07-13 10:59:20“Real” Men Don’t Do Baths. Really?
The Fourth of July is a sentimental favorite holiday for my family. My parents met on a blind date at Coney Island that evening. There were fireworks then and for five decades after! They were as different as day and night. As I think about them, I often wonder why do some marriages last and why others fail? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Fireworks.jpg333500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-07-06 08:01:082022-07-06 09:25:19Why Do Some Marriages Last? Why Do Some Fail?
Nobody called me back. I am not exaggerating. Not the car “service” people. Not the doctor’s office. And not even our contractor. Is customer service dead? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/telephone-operators-on-job.jpg380500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-06-29 08:01:582022-06-28 13:22:44Nobody Called Me Back
Online dating. Online shopping. “What’s next in the world of online convenience?” you ask. Well, thanks to companies with names like Tulip and Solace, you can send Mom and Dad to that Great Urn in the Sky without budging from your couch and — hold onto your mouse — get their mortal remains sent to you via USPS! Read more
You’re as old as you feel. Well, today I feel as old as Methuselah. And “for the record,” Methuselah was 969.
Now, I mention “old” man Methuselah not to kvetch about my aching back, bones, and feet but to make a point about aging, more specifically, definitions of age. How old is “old?” And when does middle-age end? Read more
Two Extraordinary People. Models of Resilience, Caring, and Kindness
Today, June 1, is a grand day in the lives of two extraordinary people — László and Marika Somogyi.
It is László’s 91st birthday and it’s also the couple’s 71st wedding anniversary. Both lived through the Holocaust and the Hungarian Revolution. Both are exemplary models of resilience, grace, and kindness who remain as optimistic and engaged with life as they were in their youth. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/IMG_0259.jpg403475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-06-01 08:01:072022-06-01 09:35:32Meet László and Marika Somogyi
It’s my 68th birthday. I’m not having a party, but I do have a few random thoughts on texting, cartoons, and not-so-complimentary compliments. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Cake-COpy-1.jpg410475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-05-18 08:01:292022-05-18 09:20:22It’s My Birthday and I’ll Ramble If I Want To!
There’s trouble in marital paradise. Handsome Hubby, the man with a roving eye, has got yet another new honey. He’s spending all his free time with her, and I worry his work is suffering too.
All HH’s friends think she’s hot too. They’re also spending time with her, using and abusing her. It’s disgusting. Read more
Just back from my 50th (!) high school reunion and I’m still wondering where have the years gone. Surely, I/we cannot possibly be old enough to warrant a half-century coming together? Yet, there we were, throwing masks and caution to the wind, hugging, kissing, and reminiscing faster than the DJ could spin tunes.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/IMG_0181-copy.jpg316550Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-04-27 08:01:462022-04-26 10:15:23My 50th High School Reunion
Much like Scarlett O’Hara, I once took much pride in my tiny waist. But that was long ago. Now, more like Santa Claus, I have belly fat. But no belly laughs from me. More, oh, no, no than ho, ho, ho!
Yes, once, I was a lass with a classic hourglass figure, but time, Read more
While much of the nation is still obsessed with The Slap, Handsome Hubby is indulging in one of his obsessions — household hardware. The man is a drawer pull, knob, switch plate, and electrical outlet cover fanatic. Yes, this blog is about a man who shows his love with hardware, not hard slaps. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/9c0365d96fcb19832f8f672ba1e65c52.jpg431575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-04-06 08:00:262022-04-05 09:57:26Some Men Show Love with Hardware, not Hard Slaps
Man-made diamonds have been around since the 1940s, but diamonds made of food products? Well, that’s a relatively new trend, both from a fashion — and culinary — standpoint. Are you ready to “dip” into the food-based diamond market?
If so, the very latest comes from the makers of Hidden Valley, the Chicago-based condiment maker, which worked with geologist Dean VandenBiesen to create a two-carat sparkler out of its famed ranch dressing. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Hidden-Valley-Ranch-Diamond-1.jpg475475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-03-30 11:15:542022-03-30 11:18:34Ready to “Dip” Into the Diamond Market?
Curse You, Not-so-Smart Phones and The Cloud, Too!
Some people like to listen to music as background noise. Not me. To me, music is sacrosanct. I listen to music with an almost religious intensity. Yet, recently, there was a crisis in my musical life. The day started out normal. Peaceful. But when it ended, it was the day my music died. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/album-covers.jpg431575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-03-23 08:01:112022-03-22 14:01:10The Day My Music Died
I’ve been working hard to adjust to life in Reno. It’s a far cry from NYC, Las Vegas, and Berkeley, but I’ve been doing pretty well. Sadly, however, things took a turn for the worse last week, no thanks to a letter from the neighborhood homeowners’ association. Now, I’m a rebel with a little cause.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Little-Free-library.jpg500635Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-03-09 08:01:352022-03-07 16:13:10Rebel with a Little Cause
Six months in, life in Reno is going surprisingly well. Admittedly, I don’t like the cold, but I knew that from the proverbial get-go. But after months of contractor and supply chain delays, the house is finally shaping up. Handsome Hubby is enjoying spending time with old friends. We’re healthy. Work is good. Still, I’m lonely. I don’t have an RBF — a Reno best friend. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Wanted-BFF-1.jpg396530Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-03-02 10:30:422022-03-02 10:56:55Wanted: A New Best Friend
May I Live Long Enough to See My Deliveries Arrive!
From the garage door to the bedroom, my life is a litany of supply chain woes. So many items, so many delays. I’m starting to fear I won’t live long enough to enjoy the fruits of my spending spree of new home purchases! Read more
I’ve been a “teensy” tired lately. Well, honestly, I’ve been exhausted for months. I wake up tired no matter what time I go to sleep. No matter if I nap. No matter what. Sleep apnea, you surmise. No way, I say! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Sleep-mask.jpg314575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-02-16 08:01:312024-07-18 09:44:43Sleep Apnea? Not Me. No Way.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Physician.jpeg363550Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-02-09 08:01:492022-02-08 17:00:29As We Age, Doctors Say the Darndest Things
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Ina-and-Jeffrey.jpg395525Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-01-26 08:01:182022-01-26 08:44:33Prodependency Like the Pros
Somebody important died. He was important to the nation. He was important to his home state. To his family. And he was important to my family. His name was Harry Reid. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/unnamed-copy.jpg575575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-01-12 08:01:232022-01-11 17:18:09Good-bye to a Friend, Harry Reid
We Karens have taken it on the chin in recent years, becoming a globally derided meme for racist, elitist, and generally nasty behavior. Well, now Karens of the world, take heart! It seems the only thing worse than being named Karen these days is having an ‘I’ name!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Hurricane-copy.jpg350525Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2022-01-05 08:01:152022-01-04 10:42:42Karens of the World, Take Heart
I’m avoiding the January rush, admitting early my abysmal history of failed New Year’s Resolutions. I know I won’t lose 10 pounds. Know I won’t exercise more. Know I won’t eat healthier. And, more importantly, know I won’t be a kinder, more patient person.
After 67 years, why go through the painful effort of trying? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/new-year-5861242_1280-copy.jpg276475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-12-29 08:01:472021-12-28 08:43:23A Head Start on Failed New Year’s Resolutions
Last week was our 35th wedding anniversary. You might think after all these years that passion has abated in our marriage, but you’d be wrong. Handsome Hubby is still one hot honey. As for me, I thought I knew the way to a man’s heart, but this year … Well, this year was a bit different. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Crabpot-hubby-copy-2.jpg599475Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-12-15 08:01:272021-12-15 09:35:51The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through His …
Why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t we set aside our differences and let bygones be bygones? It’s a common enough lament in families, politics, religion, and life.
While we all want to get along, it is admittedly tough to do. Yet, in Peru, they’ve got a system — a Christmas tradition, in fact — where they do just that. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/fighting.jpg382575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-12-08 08:01:242021-12-08 09:30:58Why Can’t We Get Along? Punch Drunk or Just Punch It Out?
We just splurged on a fancy-pants electric toilet with a seat warmer and all sorts of bells and whistles. Unfortunately, it’s so complicated, it requires instruction to operate! Instead of taking reading material to the toilet, we’ve had to study before sitting! And so, with this tale of the toilet, please indulge me in a little potty talk! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Outhouse.jpg390575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-12-01 08:01:492021-11-30 13:54:37Tale of the Toilet
For at least a year now, I’ve noticed a problem with my eyes. No, that’s not specific enough. I’ve noticed a problem with my vision. No, that’s still not specific enough. For almost one year, I’ve had increasing trouble seeing. There. I’ve said it. I’m having trouble seeing. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/eye.jpg384575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-11-17 08:01:412021-11-17 08:28:08It’s All a Blur. A Problem with My Eyes
I’m a clean freak but I’ve met my match. I’m sitting in the middle of my house, surrounded by dust. I could clean, but I’ve given up. Yes, I’ve thrown in the dust towel. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Floor-mess.jpg431575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-11-03 08:01:412021-11-02 10:45:02Clean Freak Meets Her Match
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Maniac_Monster_Truck-copy.jpg323575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-10-27 08:01:102021-10-27 11:09:51Machismo on the Road
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Shar_pei_puppy_age_2_months.jpeg.webp7201280Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-10-20 08:01:102021-10-20 09:26:27My Face Has Gone to the Dogs
“Whip it good,” sang popular rock group DEVO in 1980, but today a group of downtown Reno residents is singing a different tune.
They say whips — yes, whips, the things cowboys typically use on horses — aren’t good for human bodies, souls, and most important of all, sleep. And the local PD agrees, Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/William-Perry-copy.jpg388575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-09-22 08:01:272021-09-22 09:29:41My New Career
I want a demiurge — Greek for a subordinate god who shapes and arranges the physical world to conform to some rational and ideal shape.
Now, I’m not trying to get all philosophical on you. Believe me. I don’t know my Plato from a plate of pasta fagioli, but I desperately need someone to bring order to my disorderly universe, and well, if it was good for the Greeks, then it sounds good to me. Read more
I ran into an old friend at Lowe’s this weekend. It was quite a surprise for two reasons. First, she lives in NYC, and second, she’s 100 years old. You just don’t expect to run into centennials in the paint section of a hardware store on a wildfire-fueled smoky Saturday in Nevada. But there she was, Iris Apfel. Read more
Ah, life in a new city. So exciting. So much to do! And so much adventure. Yes, we’re livin’ La Vida Loca. It’s a middle-aged muddler’s dream.
Week six in Reno and each day brings something new. Why just this morning, we discovered wet carpet in the downstairs hallway, and that, in turn, led to a discovery of — you guessed it — mold! Now we’re in for a jolly good time getting that sorted out!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Ricky-Martin.jpg314575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-08-25 08:01:572021-08-24 08:47:13Livin’ La Vida Loca in a New Town
Former Nevadans, we decamped California back to Nevada to escape out-of-control wildfires and taxes. We returned for peace and quiet. Yet, now in Reno, we suffer anew amid smoke from the same CA wildfires and the hordes of Californians who also flocked here. Yes, we’re in the midst of the Great California Invasion of 2021. And it’s pandemonium.
Now, all I can say is, “Out, out, damn Californians.” Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Zombies.jpg357575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-08-18 08:01:502021-08-17 10:59:09The Great California Invasion of 2021
My Aching Bunions Rejoice. My Stylish Soul Laments
Last night, in bunion distress, I tossed out the last of my chic pointy high heels. My achy feet rejoiced, but my stylish soul cried out in despair. Later, seeking new comfortable shoes to buy, I discovered — to my extreme horror — crocs are still a thing!
They’re not just a “thing,” they’re proliferating — like mushrooms, mildew, and nuclear weapons. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Croc-heel.jpg575575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-07-28 08:01:562021-07-26 09:10:13Crocs are Still a Thing!
Dating HGTV stars is a thing now. All the celebs are doing it. Well, two are. But I expect it is going to be the trendy trend of 2021! Yes, HGTV stars are the new hot hotties. I get the appeal. Who won’t want a guy who’s good with his hands, swings a big hammer, AND has a keen eye for design? In fact, with this big move to Reno just days away, I gotta get me one STAT! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/hot-hotties.jpg575575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-07-14 08:01:262021-07-23 08:05:37HGTV Stars are the New Hot Hotties
You’ve heard of March Madness? Well, I’m suffering from Moving Madness, leaving a home I love to begin life anew in a new city.
I’ve moved a lot in my life. So often I attended 22 schools. Yet, somehow, nothing equals the extreme effort associated with this 175-mile trek across the Sierra Nevada Mountains from Berkeley, Ca. to Reno, Nv.
Maybe it’s because I’m older. Maybe it’s because real estate transactions have gone electronic and I’m a Luddite. Or maybe it’s because the real estate market is so competitive. I don’t know, but this move feels more momentous than any other in my life. Read more
Here in Berkeley, Ca., we’re busy packing for the move to the Biggest Little City in the World — Reno, Nv. And since it feels like I’m organizing my entire life around this move, I even cleared out my overflowing inbox. The reward? a clean desk for me AND a choice tidbit or two to share with you. Enjoy!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Choice-Tidbits.jpg384575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-06-30 08:01:062021-06-30 08:23:52Packing Boxes and Unpacking A Choice Tidbit or Two
Just like an “everything” bagel, this “sporty” love story has a bit of everything.
It’s the story of my friend Amy and her late husband Robert. And it’s about courtship and marriage over a basketball court. Actually lots of basketball courts. Read more
I just read an amusing article entitled “21 Believable Excuses For When You Need To Flake On Plans.” My question: who needs an arsenal of 21 excuses? I mean one or two, OK. Maybe three. But 21? Who is that busy? Who has that many appointments, social or other, requiring a person to stockpile excuses like toilet paper in a pandemic? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/49727465493_c034f2b93b_z-1.jpg472572Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-06-16 08:01:592021-06-25 11:11:20Excuses. Excuses. Believable and Some Not So
Yes, the “beautifuls” were dropping like bombs as the realtor and his “assistant” toured our home.
“We’ll have no trouble selling it,” he assured us. “Homes like this are selling well above list price all over the Bay, and with a view like this …” Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/diamonds-4040800_960_720.jpg323575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-05-26 08:01:462024-07-18 10:17:49Bad Behavior Met with Sweet Forgiveness
I’m no cat lover. They cause me to sneeze and wheeze. Still, when I saw “5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Cats,” I was intrigued. Who knew cats were so attuned to language! I thought “If cats react to trigger phrases, isn’t it true that family members do too?” So, non-feline lover me read the article, seeking guidance about how to deal with the non-felines in my life. And now, as a result, I’m amending that original cat-icle to include additional Trigger Phrases You Shouldn’t Say to Kitties, Kids, or Kin. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Cat-triggers.jpg383575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-05-19 08:00:062021-05-19 11:04:27Trigger Phrases You Shouldn’t Say to Cats or Kin
TheNew Yorker recently ran a truly hilarious piece on post-vaccination etiquette tips. But it didn’t cover everything we need to know and so, in the spirit of these challenging changing times, I offer a few “modest” additions. Read more
They say cheaters never prosper. But sometimes their actions give cause to pause simply for their sheer audacity. Such was the case this week when in rapid order — one, then two — I read of scams so ridiculous, they took my breath away. One has birthday gift-getting implications, and since my b-day is around the corner, I confess it’s giving me unwholesome food for thought. Hence I wonder – are there scams we can use? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/groucho-copy.jpg378575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-04-28 08:01:102021-04-27 11:37:21Scams We Can Use?
I hate to whine and be ungrateful, but I cannot help myself. A dear colleague of my husband just sent him a case of wine as a thank you gift. And I’m asking, why couldn’t he have sent a case of ice cream? So, yes, this blog is a whine about wine.
When did America fall in love with wine? Read more
In 1985, Andy Warhol said, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.” Well, it’s 2021 and I had three minutes of almost fame with The Daily Show. That was two weeks ago, and I’m still sitting around, waiting — waiting desperately for the 12 additional minutes of glory. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Corey-Seeman-copy-2.jpg377575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-04-07 08:05:372021-04-06 12:13:52My Almost Fame with The Daily Show
A Clear Case of I Don't Know What I'm Writing About
Yes, the subject is nonfungible tokens — NFTs for those in the cryptocurrency know. Of course, Luddite me is hardly in the cryptocurrency know. But stick with me, dear middle-aged muddlers. This blog promises to be pretty funny. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/NFT.gif9001600Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-03-31 08:01:562021-03-30 14:12:45Nonfungible Tokens and Me
Spring is coming. The sun is shining. Flowers will soon be in bloom. Unfortunately, my allergies will be too. Ah, the good with the bad.
In preparation for my yearly — losing — battle with itching, sneezing and a non-stop runny nose, I re-upped my antihistamine prescription (for all the good it does me).
While preparing to wage my seasonal allergy war, I also checked the Internet to see if there are any new allergy treatment breakthroughs. While disappointed not to find any medically sanctioned miracle solutions, I discovered a host of weird allergies I had never heard of. And since misery loves company, I thought I’d share some of the more unusual ones with you, my likely fellow allergy sufferers! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/allergy.jpg431575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-03-24 08:01:312021-03-23 14:10:23Spring is Springing. Allergies Too
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/mach.jpg358575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-03-17 08:01:242024-07-18 10:14:31Handsome Hubby has a New Honey
Sheltering-at-home baking. Sheltering-at-home Zoom meetings. And sheltering-at-home EVERYTHING has created a severe case of a sheltering-at-home chubby body. I need to do something STAT to shake up the doldrums and this lardy body surrounding them. Hey, I know. I need air guitar.
Now please don’t tell me to “Just go for a walk.” BORING. Read more
A recent travel industry poll claims that people are so hot to travel trot, they’re willing to give up sex for an entire year for the opportunity to get away ASAP.
Now, I understand after a year of pandemic stuck-at homeness and worry, we’re all antsy and anxious to hit the road, take a train, grab a yak, or even — horror of horrors, board a boat. But still, giving up the pleasures of the bedroom for the pleasures of the road? That’s a road too far! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Airplane-taking-off.jpg323575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-03-03 08:01:312021-03-03 09:40:12New Meaning to the Phrase “Hot to Trot”
Remember when you were a kid and pillow fights were fun? Remember when decorative pillows were piled mile-high on your bed just “for show?” Well, these days my pillows and I aren’t even on speaking, no less sleeping terms! Read more
Mama, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Flatulists
For something completely different, here’s a blog about farting. Yes, it’s a real gas. But please don’t think me an uncultured oaf. Au contraire, mes amis, au contraire! I am simply — and 100% accurately — reporting on a cultural phenom by the name of Joseph Pujol who took Paris by storm at the turn of the last century as a professional farter and entertainer! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/656px-Le_petomane_du_Moulin_Rouge_1900.webm.jpg421575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-02-10 08:01:162021-02-10 15:15:06This Blog is a Gas
We all know the bittersweet nostalgia that comes with thoughts of beloved foods from childhood. But what feeling conveys — truly conveys — the feeling we get about recently discontinued products, like favorite cosmetics and toiletries?
Lately, manufacturers have stopped making multiple of my tried and true products. Oh, cruel companies! I’m a creature of habit. You’re rocking my world and NOT in a good way. Read more
Some people like to do it. Some people like to watch. Count Handsome Hubby and me in the second category. We’re watchers. But don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about something kinky. Well, maybe it’s a little kinky, but we’re not alone. We’re just two of the millions of fans of The Great British Baking Show.Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/GBBS.jpg405575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-01-27 08:01:442021-01-27 18:51:11The Great British Baking Show
Amid pressing national concerns, I’m dealing with yet another personal aging crisis — nail ridges. Happily, at least, I’ve found a song to accompany me in my misery.
“Return to Sender,” a 1962 hit song for Elvis Presley, might as well be my theme song these days. Not only am I sitting around sheltering in place and waiting to receive the Covid-19 vaccine, I’m also waiting for returns/replies to messages I sent out, some several weeks ago.
Don’t you hate when people lack the courtesy to reply to messages? Read more
This first post of the New Year is supposed to be upbeat. After all, this is a humor blog and it is the start of our collective, new, better year. But please bear with me. Instead of looking forward, I’m going to pause and say good-bye to someone special who died — one of my closest friends, Shannon Verser. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/V1.png383302Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2021-01-06 08:01:082021-01-06 14:54:36Good-bye to a Best Friend, Shannon Verser
Among the most popular pandemic goals people have set: learning a new language. Some are focusing on Spanish. Others French. Not me. I’ve set my sights on something truly exotic — Millennial-speak. And I swear, by the end of our sheltering-in-place days, I’m going to be so hip, errr, I mean, woke, you won’t know me! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/63073-48549895-3.jpg300600Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-12-16 08:01:142020-12-15 13:24:13Learning a New Language
Oh, my. Pandemic gifts are the rage. Well, in any case, they’re throwing me into a minor rage or at least a serious holiday funk. What to give loved ones when you’re social distancing? If you’re in need of a few helpful — and healthful — hints, here are eight suggestions, some tongue-in-cheek, some genuinely useful. After all, ’tis the season for pandemic gift-giving!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/wew.jpg368575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-12-09 08:01:272020-12-18 17:19:12‘Tis the Season for Pandemic Gift-Giving
I used to love my morning shower. Bracing, yes. A refreshing pick-me-up and I’d emerge with shining hair. What could be better? But now? Now I’m older and wiser. I have the wisdom of age AND the Internet. I know better. Showers are dangerous to your health!
Yes, ladies, I say to you all, step away slowly and carefully! For your health and safety, step away tout de suite!Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Bart-in-the-shower.jpg391575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-12-02 08:01:052021-02-20 15:51:05Showers are Dangerous to Your Health
Cooking turkey to perfection is a challenge. Even seasoned cooks worry. But now, if you fear your fowl might turn out foul, take heart. You can reduce the risk. Trot right out and take out turkey insurance! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/burned-bird.jpg383575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-11-25 08:01:552020-11-25 11:55:43Turkey Insurance: Get Your Gobbler Covered!
We cannot live without our credit cards, true. But still, don’t they drive you crazy sometimes? I personally have a list of four credit card gripes. Check them out and see if any of them rise to the level of full-fledged grievances for you too. Read more
A-hum! Now that I have your attention, here’s my not-so-juicy true confession: I don’t have a ha-ha funny blog this week. Not because I’ve been lazy or because I’m feeling sad. Instead, I’ve just been immersed in two back-to-back writing conferences, and like most of you, watching election returns non-stop.
But while I don’t have a blog this week, I do have an election-appropriate word to share and it is, as they say, a humdinger! Read more
I just read a list of “50 Amazing Gifts that Women Actually Want.” I thought it would provide some useful suggestions to pass along to Handsome Hubby, but I was wrong. It was actually a list of 50 gifts I don’t want. So, now I’m worried. Was something wrong with the list or is something wrong with me? Read more
Be Still My Pounding Meat-Eating Heart and Stomach
One year ago, my b-b-q pork and Rocky Road ice cream loving husband had a come-to-God moment and became a vegan. He did it for health reasons and he did it for the planet. Well, I don’t know what it’s done for the planet, but it’s rocked my meat-eating world. Now, happily, there’s hope my vegan spouse will become a carnivore again. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Vegetarians-vs-Carnivores.jpg316557Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-10-21 08:01:072024-07-18 10:15:16Will My Vegan Spouse Become a Carnivore Again?
Up for Some Airtime Fun? How About Sky-High Dining?
You know about the “Mile-High Club,” that salty euphemism for people who’ve had sex in flight, right? Well, if you’re not quite that adventurous, but still are seeking a unique time aloft, here’s a PG-rated idea: Dinner in the Sky. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Nosebleed-shot-copy.png393575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-10-14 08:01:442020-10-14 11:12:42Not Up for the Mile-High Club? Still …
It’s Fall, time to clear out my inbox of summer ideas that didn’t make it to full-fledged stories but seem too good to simply abandon. So, here are those ideas, still half-baked but just like half-baked cookies, taste yummy in their own right. Please, sit back and enjoy them. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/trees.jpg384575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-10-07 08:01:332020-10-06 15:35:06Falling into Fall
Six months into this stuck-at-home era, who isn’t feeling more than a little antsy? Well, if like me, you’ve got that urge to get up and go, take heart! I may have found the perfect pandemic travel solution. Two, in fact.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/airplane.jpg383575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-09-23 08:01:182020-09-22 13:50:12Get Up and Go
They say the road to Hell — and sometimes vacations — is paved with good intentions. Unfortunately, that’s the story of our recent getaway.
Our vacation was supposed to be a respite from pandemic, politics, and wildfires. It was supposed to be fun. Relaxing. But it turned out to be a vacation hellscape. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Road-to-Hell.jpg421575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-09-16 08:01:352020-09-16 11:58:19The Road to Hell and Vacations
It’s almost that time of the month. No, not THAT time of the month. That’s long past. The time of the month I’m referring to the day when big, boring household chores come due. Why on the first? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/time-of-month.jpg323575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-09-09 11:04:002020-09-09 10:58:18It’s Almost THAT Time of the Month
After almost six months of sheltering-at-home, I thought I had nailed it. Yes, I thought I finally had mastered the art of applying nail polish to my own fingernails.
At first, it was a challenge. You see, I was a mani-novice. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Nails.jpg383575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-09-02 08:01:502020-09-01 09:35:18Nailed It! The Art of Home Manicures
I’ve Got the Nowhere to Go Binge-Buying Gadget Blues
Remember the long-running kids’ cartoon show featuring the dim-witted, multi-tooled-crime-fighting police Inspector Gadget, voiced by TV’s popular Don Adams, aka Get Smart character Maxwell Smart? Well, nowadays, you might as well call me, Ms. Inspector Gadget.
I know it’s silly, but lately, I’ve been dreaming of red lipstick. And so, this week — while wearing my mask and observing proper social distancing — I raced to the drug store and bought myself a tube of ruby-red. I rushed home, applied it, and instantly felt better.
What is it about red lipstick that’s so oh la la? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/lipstick-two.jpg359575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-08-19 08:03:382020-08-18 11:36:26Dreaming of Red Lipstick
Robert Palmer sang of being “Addicted to Love.” Weird Al Yankovic parodied with “Addicted to Spuds.” Me? I’m addicted to books. More accurately, I’m addicted to book-buying.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/New-Yorker.jpg814600Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-08-12 08:01:222020-08-11 11:07:35Addicted to (Fill in the Blank)
It seemed like a fun idea at the time. If you can’t go on vacation, let the vacation come to you — seven days of no-cooking bliss, just ordering-in dinner! Think of it: a week freed from menu planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and kitchen clean-up. Short of a cure for COVID-19, it’s my idea of earthly delight.
AND as an added bonus: a week of order-in meals means a week of yummy ready-made lunches since take-out food is always way too much to eat at one sitting. So, happy plan indeed!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Delivery-food.jpg461585Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-08-05 08:01:162020-08-04 14:06:55Our 7 Day No-Cooking Plan
If you read my work, you know that Handsome Hubby is the kindest, sweetest, most patient man — no, make that — the kindest, sweetest, most patient person on the planet. He practically qualifies for sainthood. And this coming from a Jewish girl is high praise indeed.
So, keep that in mind when I tell the following story of my almost-a-saint spouse and his terrible, rotten, no good day. Read more
Drug warning labels need amending ASAP. Henceforth, labels need note: do not operate heavy machinery OR bake cakes while under the influence of certain medications.
Let’s talk pockets. More specifically, the lack of proper lady pockets. It’s a problem every female from seven to seventy-seven knows too well. Read more
I’m not usually a hard rock fan. Nonetheless, I’m inspired by hard rockin’ Aerosmith’s hit song “Walk This Way,” because I too want everybody to walk a very specific way. And if they do, I’m 100% confident it will solve today’s pandemic pedestrian equivalent of road rage.
Wearing a mask is essential. Wearing a mask is the right thing to do. But wearing a mask is driving me meshuga. That’s Yiddish for crazy. But now help is at hand. Here are my Five Tips for Fun, Comfortable, and Stylish Mask Wearing. Read more
Some people pray before going to bed. Me? I’m an unrepentant list maker. Each night I type up and email myself a to-do list of tasks I need and want to accomplish the next day. And short of dire “breaking news” headlines, it’s the first email I read each morning. Lists used to make my life easier and keep me focused. But now I’m not so sure. Now they’re the source of anxiety. Please heed this list writer’s lament! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/handwritten-to-do-list.jpg387580Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-06-24 08:01:102020-06-24 10:24:32Lists Make Life Easier, Right?
Society has always deemed there were two kinds of women — the virgin and the whore. Harsh, simplistic distinctions — happily, not worthy of our times and values. As for me, I’ve had my own standards for evaluating people — women in particular. Follow along and see if you think my “two kinds of women” standards are an improvement on those former, outmoded labels. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/two-kinds.jpg7601000Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-06-10 08:01:012020-06-10 09:35:40Two Kinds of Women
Searching for something to celebrate after 44 days of sheltering-in-place, I turned to a website that lists “Daily Bizarre and Unique Calendar Holidays.” And with the month of April not quite over, I was in luck. Join me — from a socially safe distance — for an e-journey through the month’s extravaganza of unusual holidays. Read more
My father, Big Julie by name, was an electrician by profession, but a gambler and a poet in his heart of hearts. Big Julie’s game of choice? Dice. Now, I too, amid the coronavirus pandemic, am a gambler. My game, not by choice, is Game of Carts. Yes, I play the Amazon delivery system, hitting my computer’s “refresh” button 10, 11, 12 times a day, hoping to hit a jackpot and score a delivery time that day … any day! Read more
Shelter at home is the order of the day. Social distancing is the medically recommended norm when outside. Now, for marital harmony, I believe we urgently need a directive advocating social distancing for spouses INSIDE the home. Read more
Charities struggle to attract donors in these difficult times. Donors also struggle, deciding among so many worthy causes. It’s a challenge for both. But I have a solution. Put the FUN in fundraising!
It’s simple and allows both sides of the equation to come out winners. The way? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/FUND-600x162-copy-2-1.png284400Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-04-08 08:01:092020-04-14 23:54:47Donors Rejoice. Fun in Fundraising is Here
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/734188-fbe6cd18-fc06-11e2-983c-b7c40a81e930.jpg366650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-04-01 08:01:462020-04-01 08:49:58Danger Isn’t New for Baby Boomers
It’s hard finding fun and funny in the news these days. But it’s there. From ill-timed stories about dream vacations to ads for swimsuits, it’s there. It does prove, however, that not all the news (and ads) are truly fit to print in these days of disease and worry.
With that in mind, here are a few stories, headlines and ad promotions that caught my eye recently. Some raise questions. Some I offer as observations from one middle-aged muddler to another. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/news-hat.jpg380575Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-03-25 08:01:202024-07-18 10:04:36Finding Fun in the News
I know I’m late for the party, but I’d like to wish a sincere Happy Galentine’s Day to all my girlfriends. Let’s make that, a Happy, Healthy Galentine’s Day.
Yes, I’m a little late. But in the midst of these scary, challenging days, I’m hitting the pause button on full-fledged silliness. Instead, I want to express appreciation to all my friends — and dear Muddling through Middle Age readers, too.
Handsome Hubby and I are coming to a parting of the ways. Sad, but true. After 33 years (and three years of dating), HH wanted a change and a change he’s made. I pleaded and I begged but to no avail. There’s no turning back. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Parting-of-the-ways.jpg364586Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-03-04 08:47:182024-07-18 10:15:28A parting of the ways
I can’t stop eating and I can’t stop writing about it either! It’s my latest mid-life obsession. It could be worse. I could be obsessing about plastic surgery and my saggy, baggy face and body. Oh, that was so last year!
I’m suffering a bad case of divided loyalties. Tony Bennett sang of leaving his heart in San Francisco, but me? My heart is divided. Half is in the SF Bay; the other half is in NYC. It’s complicated and it’s confusing. Read more
DNA testing is the rage. People are discovering long lost relatives, famous ancestors, and occasionally dread diseases. As for me? Even without spit or cheek swab testing, here’s a list of five things I know conclusively are NOT in my DNA. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/dna-test-copy.jpg354550Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-02-12 08:01:122020-02-11 12:22:38Five Things NOT in my DNA
Yes, You Can Have Your Cake and Not Get Your Work Done
I procrastinate. You procrastinate. We all procrastinate. It’s universal. But did you know there’s a fun, new way to delay doing what you need to do? It’s called procrastibaking! It’s a procrastinator’s (and a pastry eater’s) dream come true.
And while I’ve only just learned about procrastibaking, apparently, it’s a widespread practice. Read more
Big news on the music and pet scene — two “scenes” that rarely play well together. Spotify, the music-streaming service, has gone to the dogs and has just launched playlists for home-alone pups. A podcast too! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Olga-w-headphones-e1580232160386.jpg375500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-01-29 08:48:442020-01-29 08:47:29Spotify Has Gone to the Dogs
I’m not much of a drinker. In fact, I’m a complete lightweight. One drink and I’m gone. Still, I have always considered bars like New York’s 21 Club the height of elegance and sophistication. Now, happily, in my middle-age, I’ve found a bar scene that fits me to a “T” — a butter bar! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/rsh-1000cg-truem-3.jpeg367550Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-01-22 08:01:012020-01-22 08:48:39Belly AND Butter Up to the Bar
Nicknames. Pet Names. Code Names. Hashtags. Name proliferation is spreading faster than germs. It’s too much. People should be given one name and stick with it. Read more
You’ve heard of the War of the Roses? The 100 Years War? WWI and WWII, of course. Well, welcome to my house and the War of the Fake Meat-Eaters vs. well, vs. Me.
It’s not a global battle, of course, but it is epic. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Rubber-chick.jpg400600Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2020-01-08 08:01:392020-01-08 14:25:10War of the Fake Meat-Eaters
Sigh! It’s that time of year. Time for New Year’s Resolutions. Time also for that pesky, but inevitable New Year’s Resolutions’ Guilt. You know, the guilt that comes when you fail to achieve all those bright shiny resolutions.
Well, be of good cheer. I am here to help! Read more
So, please allow me to hit the pause button on writing … except to wish all my fellow middle-age muddlers a Happy, Healthy, and Safe Holiday Season. May your holidays be filled with wonder and, of course, laughter. Muddle on with joy!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/hider.jpg444650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-12-11 08:02:562019-12-10 12:40:33Hide and Seek. I’m a Hider
Yes, my name is Karen. I’ve always liked the name. Never wanted to be a Karla or a Kathy, but lately, things have gotten a bit complicated and I’m wondering if a name change is in order.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Screen-Shot-2019-12-01-at-1.41.02-PM.png6961616Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-12-04 08:01:312019-12-03 10:08:19I’m Karen, but Not That “Karen”
Here’s a Happy Thanksgiving Day alphabet primer to get you and the family started on holiday fun. Turkey, togetherness, travel, talking, and tag football. Enjoy it and your day with family and friends! Don’t eat too much. Make sure at day’s end, only the turkey is stuffed!
Happy Thanksgiving: A
To the apple lovers (computer and fruit) in your house.
Happy Thanksgiving: B
To bakers who labor so hard on this special day and bankers who get the day off! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/flyer1321332092.jpg337550Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-11-27 08:01:242019-11-26 10:09:05Happy Thanksgiving: From A to Z
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Playbills.jpg488650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-11-20 12:07:232019-11-20 13:58:30Giving My Regards to Broadway
Diamonds are forever. So goes the old marketing slogan. But now, thanks to high tech advances, there’s a whole new spin on the meaning of “forever,” because companies can turn your deceased loved one’s cremated ashes into sparkling memorial diamonds.
All it takes is eight ounces of ashes – or if you prefer, 10 ounces of cremated bones, or a mere 0.4 ounces of hair.
Some call it science. But to me, it more voodoo than I love you. Read more
Forget about a Zombie apocalypse. I live in California where we worry weekly about wildfires, earthquakes, and “scheduled” power outages.
Back East, we worried about terrorist attacks, but since moving to the San Francisco Bay, I’ve learned the true meaning of terror. Here dinner conversations are just as likely to focus on “What’s in your ‘to-go’ bag and earthquake kit?” as on politics, the environment, and favorite TV show. Read more
I hate to sound sexist, but as soon as baby boys can grasp objects, they’re given baseballs and footballs. Girls, on the other hand, are often given purses to carry. And all those little girls turn into, yes, the ladies who schlep. They may schlep handbags, tote bags, briefcases or backpacks, but schlep they do. And they’re not just hauling around lipstick and lunch, but also, memories and money, smartphones, and status symbols.
“Of course, a bag is important. It’s my home away from home.” Sornam S.
It started with an email and two simple questions. I thought I’d get a few short replies. Instead, all week long, my inbox was flooded with replies. Clearly, I had touched a nerve. Read more
We live in an age of techno wonders – drones, talking devices that tell us the time in Kuala Lumpur and how long to boil an egg. We can push a button on our smart phones to adjust the thermostat and raise the window shades. But helpless, hapless, middle-aged me still needs help.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Rube_Goldbergs_22Self-Operating_Napkin22_cropped.gif302428Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-10-16 08:01:482019-10-15 19:47:14Will Techno Wonders Never Cease? Can They Still Increase?
I mostly celebrate my age — 65 —but I admit some aspects of aging aren’t joyful. Here’s my list of 21 signs you’re getting older. Check it out. See what you’d add!
You know you’re getting older when … …. You go to a rock concert and your friends pass around earplugs instead of drugs.
For most people, culinary single-use devices like strawberry hullers and cherry pitters are handy time-savers. But for cooking-klutz me, they are mostly cabinet space-stealing clutter, rarely, if ever, used.
I’ve got ceramic pie weights to hold crust down and fancy cake pans in graduated sizes. The former was bought in a moment of wild baking optimism. Yet, I’ve never even opened the package they came in. The latter, I used once to disastrous results.
But in my household, the undisputed master of wasted single-use devices is
– drum roll, please – Read more
No ifs, ands or butt cheeks about it. Ladies, we have a new beauty regime to get on top of. Well, technically speaking, one we’ve got to get to the bottom of. Yes, gal pals, our rear ends are the latest beauty frontier!
What’s good for the face – cleansers, toners, serums, oils, exfoliating scrubs, creams, and masks – is now being specially tailored and marketed for the derriere.
Don’t believe me? Well, no less an authority than the august New York Times has proclaimed, “Butt skincare is definitely a thing now.”
“But what kind of a “thing?” you well might ask. “And why?” Read more
First board meeting … of the new season … with the brand new artistic director. Everybody was on their best behavior, wanting to make a good impression. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/speechmaking.jpg350640Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-09-18 08:01:042019-09-17 21:10:21Toastmasters or Just Plain Toast?
It seemed like such a good idea. “Let’s sign up for a whale-watching boating adventure,” I said gamely to Handsome Hubby, knowing he would be thrilled.
Amazingly San Francisco’s Oceanic Society had openings for Labor Day – just four days later. Who could believe our good fortune? And faster than you can say “Moby Dick,” I made our reservation.
Taking a Stand on Standing Desks and Other Assorted Topics!
Ah, Labor Day – the unofficial end of summer. The kids are back in school and the white shoes are pushed to the back of the closet. For me, it’s time to clean out my in-box of story ideas that didn’t quite come to fruition, but still, seem tantalizing and amusing – too good to simply discard. Take a look and see if you agree. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/empty-bench.jpg433650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-09-04 08:01:522019-09-04 10:51:28End of Summer End Notes
Dirty grocery carts. People who say “Let’s do lunch,” but don’t. Dropped phone calls. When I wrote a list of pet peeves a couple of months ago, I thought I had it out of my system. I was wrong. Here’s a brand new list of middle-aged, mid-week grouchies! Join me and get your grump on! Read more
We moved to Berkeley, CA six years ago and I’m still getting used to it. There is much to love, but also much that is downright bezerkly. It must be a sign of age that world-traveler me is taking so long to get accustomed to this city, but that said in the interest of your enlightenment and amusement, I’m ready to talk turkey about quirky Berkeley! Here goes. Read more
Last week I wrote about turning 65 and signing up for Social Security. Now I was want to tell you what happened next. It isn’t pretty. I quickly descended from “social insecurity” into an advanced state of Social Security Madness.
When I signed up for Social Security benefits this Spring, I also selected Medicare Part B. I didn’t need health insurance; Handsome Hubby and I already have good, inexpensive lifetime coverage. But I thought Medicare is inexpensive and a little extra insurance couldn’t hurt. I was wrong. It’s hurting plenty. Read more
Each morning I swear I won’t. Yet every morning, I begin a new round of my personal Mission Impossible. My impossible mission? Get control of my house AND my life.
Each morning I swear I won’t. Yet, first thing each day I make the bed and fluff up the “just for show” pillows. I maniacally wipe down the counters, speed-spritz the fridge to eliminate fingerprints and Windex with a fury the glass dining room table.
My mother was pro-mink. She believed fur symbolized luxury, style, wealth and to the manor born. Not me. I was decidedly anti-fur. I grew up in a cloth coat, pea- jacket, egalitarian world.
My mother was a native New Yorker, so fur was practical too, good for keeping the cold out. I, on the other hand, grew up in sunny Las Vegas. So I avoided the cold and the culture of fur for a long time.
The Fur Flies
But in my late 20s, I was D.C.-bound for an exciting new job. I was also in possession of a small insurance settlement from a leg injury. For my mother, the stars were aligned. She saw fur in my future and pounced. Read more
Remember when salad was simple? Throw together some iceberg lettuce and a few tomatoes and you were done. Now when you shop the produce aisle, you wade through 50 shades of green. Dine out and you wonder if you’re reading a foreign-language menu, so unknown are the leafy options.
These days you need a Ph.D. to make and eat salad! To help sort through the confusion, join me for a walk on the wild produce side. Ready, set, lettuce go! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Salad_Greens-copy.jpg417625Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-07-17 08:01:162019-07-16 17:00:0150 Shades of Green
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/amazon-warrior.jpg495650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-07-10 08:01:542019-07-10 09:34:16I am an Amazon Warrior
It was a miracle!. Work-a-holic Handsome Hubby hit the pause button and we “got gone” to Sea Ranch, Ca for a four-day vacation. Were we in for a treat! Read more
Growing up, life was simple. My mother shopped at one supermarket, two at the most. Now I’m on a non-stop, not-so-merry market-go-round, shopping at six different stores. It’s modern-day mercantile madness.
If it’s Tuesday, I go to Whole Foods for oh, so pricy organic produce and meat. Wednesdays, I’m at Safeway. That’s where I get the family prescriptions and non-organic, unhealthful food, like Lay’s potato chips and Diet Coke. By Friday, it’s anybody’s guess. It’s a regular basket free-for-all! Read more
I grew up in star-studded Las Vegas. My father was a high-roller gambler and we spent a lot of time in casino showrooms. As an adult, I was a news reporter, covering organized crime and the resort-entertainment industry, bumping shoulders with countless celebrities. Later, I worked at a high level of the executive branch of the US government, meeting presidents and a few kings.
You’d think I would have acquired a degree of sophistication along the way. But think again. Embarrassingly, I’m still a bumbling star-gazing social-lite! Read more
Longtime married couples think they’ve heard it all. But after decades, love and listening may go their separate ways. In which case, even the happiest of marrieds may discover they’ve missed something important. I know. It just happened to Handsome Hubby and me. Crisis loomed! Read more
Remember Joni Mitchell’s song “Big Yellow Taxi,” where she lamented about how “they” paved Paradise and put up a parking lot? Well, I know how she feels. “They” just completed a muddled remodel at my favorite Target store. Now I feel like Joni. Paradise – and I – are lost.
Where once greeting cards were displayed, Read more
Favorite family recipes – more precious than silver, packed with more memories than scrapbooks and the hallway filled with yellowed photos of our ancestors. Every family has got a favored meal. Here’s the story of our’s. Read more
When they passed around the athletic genes, I must have been out to lunch … or shopping … or perhaps napping. Yes, some are natural born athletes. Me? Not so much.
One of my brothers was a great swimmer. Another a beautiful dancer. Me? I’m a klutz. My sport of choice? Jacks. Park my butt on the ground and I could beat most anybody at the basic game or its variations – double bounces, pigs in the pen, over the fence. Yep. I was a jack’s genius.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/stretching-dup.jpg422640Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-05-22 08:01:572019-05-21 13:30:37Some are Natural Born Athletes
Marilyn Monroe famously and breathlessly proclaimed that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Well, that may be so, but for middle-aged gals like me, pharmacists are the preferred BFFs.
And man, I don’t mean to brag but I’ve got multiple friends in pharmaceutical places!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Marilyn_Monroe_in_Gentlemen_Prefer_Blondes_trailer-copy.jpg438620Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-05-15 08:01:262024-07-18 10:15:44Pharmacists, Not Diamonds, are My BFFs
With the National Basketball Association season winding down and free agent trading time gearing up, I’m considering my options. Should I play the field or play for keeps? Stick with Handsome Hubby or …? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/gallery_medium.jpg400600Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-05-08 08:01:472019-05-08 09:00:57Play the Field or Play for Keeps?
First I got a concussion. Then I learned to cook. It’s true, but like most truths, there’s more to the story. It actually took a concussion, a TV show, and echoes from the past to get me to care about cooking. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cooking-helmet.jpg423650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-05-01 08:02:482019-04-30 12:14:17First a Concussion. Then a Cook
I may sound old-fashioned, but I think some of today’s lapses in sartorial style are downright sins. The way we dress and adorn ourselves would surely make my mother and grandmother shudder and shriek!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Sartorial-Sins.jpg400400Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-04-24 08:01:592019-07-15 11:29:36Sartorial Sins of the Flesh
Nothing’s really wrong, but I’ve got a bad case of the middle-aged, mid-week grouchies. And I need to vent. Read on. You might just relate. You might get a chuckle. At the very least, as my delightful 92-year-old second cousin Marvin used to say, “It couldn’t hurt.” Read more
I come from a long line of now-endangered red meat carnivores. My grandmother made a mean Cornish game hen, but it was her Hungarian goulash and stuffed cabbage (stuffed with ground beef) I most fondly remember.
My mother’s signature recipes were chili con carne, roast beef, steak smothered in buttery onions and mushrooms, beef and peppers, and brisket. Oh, yes, the brisket. Read more
I couldn’t sleep last night. As I tossed and turned, I read an article that got me in a dither: Millennials don’t give a sheet! That’s right – they are rejecting top sheets. So, of course, I got up on the wrong side of the bed today, and as I made the bed, I decided I wanted to vent about, of all things, all things bedding!
A lot has changed in the world of bedding since I was a little girl. First, there’s this sheet crisis! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Dog-in-bed.jpg420630Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-03-27 08:01:042024-07-18 09:45:45Millennials Don’t Give a Sheet
The 10 Commandments serve us well, but in these Modern Times, I modestly propose an electronic update – 10 tech commandments – to the stone tablets Moses first delivered!
Yes, in the “good” old days, the world was simpler, slower-paced, easier to understand or at least, so we recall.
In today’s fast-moving tech world, we middle-aged muddlers need new guidelines to navigate the world AND the worldwide web. And I think our kids could use a few helpful hints as well. In fact, you might want to show them Tech Commandment Number 5. Better yet – needlepoint it on a pillow for their bedroom. Read more
Inspired by the glory of Antiques Roadshow, we’ve all got one. That one precious item we believe is valuable beyond our wildest dreams. The one that if we chose to sell it would put us, our kids, and our future grandkids on Easy Street FOREVER.
It could be that ugly oil painting your grandmother bought years ago at a yard sale that now smolders in the attic; or that old coin your father gave you for your ninth birthday, admonishing you to “hold on to this.”
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Money-dup.jpg400600Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-03-13 08:01:422019-03-12 10:27:49I Hit It Big on Antiques Roadshow
Sometimes I worry I will run out of things to write about. Then I discover articles like “Cleavage Reboot: How to Smooth Out Chest Wrinkles,” and I realize I will never run out of “dire” aging maladies to worry – and write – about!
Yes, chest wrinkles, a problem right up there with global warming, the plight of the homeless, and discrimination.
It only took God 99 words (at least in one version I looked at) to write The Ten Commandments, the foundation of faith and civility for millions around the world. But chest wrinkles? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Neck-1-Sophia-Loren-Jayne-Mansfield.jpg449500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-03-06 08:01:562019-03-05 17:35:01A New Wrinkle in Time
A moment of celebration! Muddling through Middle Age just hit the century mark! This is my 100th blog, my 100th “light lament” for women (and men) of a certain age.
And since it’s my party (or at least my blog), I’d like to pause, not cry as Leslie Gore did in her hit 1963 song “It’s My Party,” for a moment of reflection. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/100-cake-.jpg433650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-02-27 08:01:352019-02-26 09:13:11Happy 100th (Blog) to Muddling Me
Some people cannot find their phone. Others their keys. Me? It’s my reading glasses. I misplace them constantly and need them for everything. Oh, my middle-aged eyes. It’s just not fair. Yes, the worst part of growing old is reading glasses.
By the age of 12, I was blind as a bat. Then I got Lasik surgery and had perfect vision … for a time. Now, once again, I’m eye glass-dependent. I go nowhere without clutching my readers as tightly as those needing a cane to get by. Read more
Lovers beware. I took a Valentine’s Day quiz to learn if my husband is “still utterly and totally in love.” The results? Let’s just say Handsome Hubby and I didn’t “ace” the test. In fact, it should have come with a warning: Danger Ahead! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/top-cardf.png321771Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-02-13 08:57:002024-07-18 10:17:49Madly in Love or Just Mad?
Ah, if I ruled the world and could be Queen … just like on that popular TV show of decades ago, Queen for a Day. I’d right some wrongs, enforce some rules, and, maybe settle a petty score or two! I mean what’s power if you can’t abuse it just a teensy bit, all the while wearing a tiara and robe, parked on a royal throne? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Elizabeth_I_dup.jpg481600Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-02-06 08:01:112019-02-06 09:05:11If I Ruled the World
Everybody is obsessed with Marie Kondo and downsizing their possessions, especially clothes. Not me. I want more clothes, not less. Sweaters. Blouses. Dresses. Cute shoes. But there’s a problem – I’m shopping adverse. I hate going to a Mall and I’m not finding much success shopping online.
I never liked shopping. Blame it on my mother. Of course. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Kondo-dup-2.jpg362546Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-01-30 08:01:592019-01-30 09:21:10Marie Kondo Sparks No Joy in Me
Handsome Hubby and I took a trip down the (graying) yellow brick road this past weekend and oh, what a trip it was! More precisely, we went to see Elton John perform, part of his multi-city, multi-year “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” concert tour.
It was Handsome Hubby’s idea. He is a big Elton fan. I was too back in the day, but traveling down memory lane, spending lots of money to see aging rockers perform goldie oldies wasn’t my idea of a good time.
But HH wanted to go. So, off we went, memories (and pricy tickets) in hand, to the concert at Oracle Arena, home of the Golden State Warriors, in Oakland, Ca.
We jump-hobbled onto the BART (subway), where we were greeted by a sea of gray-haired seniors all bound for rock and roll glory! You would have thought there was an AARP Convention in town! Read more
It’s true as we get older, our memory and communication skills slip a bit. Why did I walk into this room? What did I have for lunch today? What did you just say? And sometimes, frustratingly, we have to search for a word that’s at the tip of our tongue.
Yet, for all that, I believe there’s a bigger problem at play. The English language lacks the vocabulary to address the sensations, situations, and emotions – good and bad, we middle-agers and seniors experience.
For instance, what do you call the transformation of a once patient spouse into a grouchy, short-tempered guy? (A friend wants to know.)Read more
Just one week into the New Year and I was already backsliding into bad habits faster than a first-time skier hitting the slopes.
Start that diet? Hard to do with all the holiday candy still casting its chocolaty come-hither glance at me.
Exercise? How, when I could hardly move from all that candy-gorging I’m doing 24/7?
Be a better person? Who was I kidding? That was never going to happen, sugar-rush or no sugar-rush.
So, just days into the New Year, I decided to drop the pretense. Skip the guilt. Avoid making – and breaking – those resolutions of yesteryears to eat less, exercise more, and be a better person. I decided to just hunker down and continue living in my usual slovenly, unhealthy, impatient way.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Lounge.jpg500600Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2019-01-09 08:01:242019-01-14 10:52:57Resolve to be Irresolute!
Coffee mug addiction. It is America’s not-so-hidden disease. It’s costly and dangerous AND no household is immune. Where once there was mere cabinet clutter, now there is a coffee cup contagion.
Be honest. Do you recognize a loved one in the following words and thoughts? Do you recognize yourself?
Happy New Year to all my dear Middle-aged Muddlers,
It’s December 26, the start of that short pause in the festivities before New Year’s Eve, time to catch our breath and reflect on the year that’s ending and the new one that’s just days away.
For me, it’s a time to give thanks for family and friends. And you, my family of readers and subscribers, I give special thanks.
Here’s to a Happy, Healthy 2019 to you and all those you hold dear!
🎊
Now onward to more muddled laughter in the New Year!
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/NYDay-dup.jpg375500Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-12-26 08:01:272018-12-24 12:50:06Happy New Year
‘Tis the season to over-indulge, true. But, alas, ’tis also the season to sequin, shimmy, and shake – all of which challenge chubby, out-of-shape, middle-aged me.
And while I can still wedge myself into my cute holiday clothes, do I look cute? Hardly. I more resemble that lump of coal Santa leaves children who have been naughty, not nice, than I do some hot party babe.
So, sadly I’m giving myself a Spanx-ing. Read more
‘Tis the season to party hearty. But I must admit, now that I’m middle-aged, I not much of a party kind of gal. I’m more of a hot chocolate, asleep by 10:15 social clod.
So, what’s a sluggish middle-aged muddler supposed to do, now that the holiday party season, like a horde of ravenous locusts, has arrived? Hibernate in a cave? Take a vow of silence and retreat to a Zen-like monastery until January 2? Drag my sorry, sweat-suited derriere out the door and socialize till my cheeks ache and eyelids droop?
This year, I’m planning ahead. I’ve prepared a List of Seven Perfectly Plausible Middle-aged Excusesto Get Out of Holiday Festivities. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Party-Hearty-1.jpg472450Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-12-12 08:05:152018-12-11 09:04:50Ready to Holiday Party Hearty? Hardly!
Do you know someone who spends too much time on their cell phone? Silly question. Of course, you do. Do you spend too much time on your cell phone? Of course, you do. Confession: I do too.
According to one study, people typically touch their phones 47 times per day! Now that’s scary! And the number jumps to 82 times per day if you’re between 18 and 24 years old. Scarier still. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Phub.jpg433650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-12-05 05:01:582024-07-18 10:15:59I Say Phone. You Just Phub
Handsome Hubby and I are back from our 16 days in Vietnam and Cambodia. The laundry is whirling away in the washer and dryer. So, I thought I’d sit down and respond to the request from a number of readers asking for a recap of our travels. Read more
Richard Nixon and I sadly have something in common. Jowls. I’ve tried to ignore the problem, but jowls and jawlines are in the news. So, what can I do?
Yes, regrettably, I – the anti-plastic surgery woman – am once again day-dreaming about plastic surgery. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Jowls.jpg40166016Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-11-14 08:01:092018-11-13 18:01:07Nixon and Me: United in Jowls
“In Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire …
Hurricanes hardly happen.” My Fair Lady, Lerner and Loewe
Hurricanes also happen in Florida, and as a result of one, this hurricane-hound now calls California home.
It was all so scary at first – given up to a Florida shelter and then scooped up by a huge, noisy, metal bird and taken to a different shelter in a strange new city. Read more
I’ve got religion! And like all religious zealots, I speak of nothing else. My new-found religion is not a traditional religion, nor is it New Age hippy, dippy. My new religion is my new diet. More specifically, it is my new-found diet success! Read more
I’m trying a new form of therapy. No, not cognitive behavior therapy. Not somatic therapy, nor psychoanalytic therapy. Not even retail therapy. Instead, I’m fixating on Apartment Therapy.
Are you familiar with Apartment Therapy? AT, as I like to call it, is a lifestyle blog and publishing company focused on home design and decor. And it’s not any old blog. According to Forbes Magazine, AT is “one of the most influential interior design sites on the Web.”
You might wonder why I, a homeowner with a five-bedroom house, reads AT. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/chairs-2.jpg366650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-10-17 08:03:462018-10-16 14:11:50Therapy for the Masses
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Sea-Lion.jpg488650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-10-10 08:06:022024-07-18 10:16:11Restless at the La Jolla RLS Confab
Rebranding is the rage. Dunkin’ Donuts and Weight Watchers are just the latest jumping on the name change bandwagon. And it’s got me thinking. Maybe middle-aged me could use a change too.
After all, I don’t want to be one of those people who gets stuck in a rut. Shaking things up might be just the thing I need. Instead of the same old Karen Galatz – writer, wife, and mom, perhaps I need a different persona.
Fall fashion season is here. The runways are overflowing with willowy models and haute couture commentary. So, who am I, admittedly un-chic, un-willowy, to offer my own runaway thoughts about fashion and style? Just a middle-aged muddling mom (MAMM) with a far-from-the-runway point-of-view! Read more
Handsome Hubby and I are approaching our 32nd wedding anniversary, and I must say we’ve really got the art of conversation down to a science. The renowned Navajo code-talkers have nothing on us. With just a few words, HH and I can decipher (and deride) each other’s meaning perfectly.
Here are a few true-life conversations from our household that I bet you’ll recognize.
Conversation 1
I say: “What about those forms I needed your help with?” reminding HH about this or any long-ago request I’ve made.
HH says: “Hum, it rings a bell.”
HH is hearing: Blaring alarm bells.
HH is thinking: “Mayday. Mayday. Marital iceberg ahead.” Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Art-of-Conversation.jpeg433650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-09-19 08:01:352024-07-18 10:17:49The Art of Conversation, Marriage Edition
When the leaves start falling, a woman’s thoughts turn to … pantyhose? Well, for some of us. It’s true.
I belong to a dying breed of never-go-bare-legged women. Rare among womankind today, I wear pantyhose. Not just with formal night attire, but during the day too. Even in the summer. Even in the East when summertime humidity is swoon-worthy!
Now there are women who wear opaque tights when the outside temperature dips and wintery winds howl, but that’s not the legwear I’m talking about. There are also women who wear fishnet and other fashion-fad leg gear, but that’s not the hose in question.
What I’m referring to is the sheer, easy-to-run-and-ruin flesh-colored kind that has adorned my pasty white limbs since I aged out of knee-high socks. Read more
Labor Day has passed, signaling the end of summer’s leisurely pursuits. It’s time to get organized for autumn. So, I’m clearing the deck – and my inbox – for a fresh season of writing. And from that inbox, here are a few tidbits that I didn’t develop into full-fledged stories, but still, are designed to amuse! From Kardashians to musical buffalo and the disappearance of our e-signatures for purchases … I hereby opine!
Number 1:
First a question: Would someone … please, please, please … explain America’s fascination with the Kardashians? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/treadmill.png334547Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-08-29 08:01:372018-08-28 12:58:41T is for Torture and Treadmill
It’s summertime, and I’m exhausted. I cannot keep up the pace.
Summer used to be about relaxing and taking a break from usual routines.
Summer used to be about vacations and long, lazy days at the beach.
Summer used to be about suntans and sunburns. Over-chlorinated swimming pools and bring-tears-to your-eyes salty water ocean waves. About letting the mind wander and go free, watching the clouds and the waves.
The TV got a rest. There were too many reruns. Instead, there were summer book reads. Trashy novels for middle-aged moms (and dads). Required book lists for the kids.
But not this summer. Not for our family, and I bet, not for yours. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/shutterstock_1100617133.jpg390650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-08-22 09:00:442018-08-22 09:00:44Summertime and the Living is Exhausting
A famous psychological study developed 36 questions to fast-track intimacy and connection. Ha! That’s easy. A glass of cheap merlot and low lighting can do that for most people. But lasting love? Well, that requires a whole different set of questions.
And to help with that, from the vantage point of a middle-aged many-years married, I’ve prepared a list of nine queries young lovers should consider before saying their “I do’s.” Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/shutterstock_1113843215-3.jpg5221176Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-08-15 08:05:172024-07-18 10:17:49Nine Questions for Lasting Love
For the record: I’m no coffee connoisseur. I drink lattes because they satisfy my two chief criteria for coffee – lots of milk and lots of room for sugar. But recently, I met the barista of my dreams. Now I’m caffeinated and infatuated.
The day I met my new love, I was in that early morning pre-coffee kind of stupor. Slow moving and slow thinking, I practically bumped into this stunning, towering cool creator of caffeine and other bubbling hot delights. I was instantly overwhelmed. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/coffee-beans-2538526_1920.png422650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-08-08 08:05:082024-07-18 10:16:24Caffeinated and Infatuated. The Barista of My Dreams
There’s surfing danger ahead! Not in the water, but online. Take a quick look at an ad for an anti-aging skin cream, and that product will haunt you on the Internet until you die and decompose.
Blink your eye and consider a brief fling with glitter eyeliner, as I did earlier this summer, and you are forever branded as part of David Bowie’s glam squad!
Peruse a winter white wool turtleneck sweater in January, and come July, you’ll still get urgent notices to “Hurry, there’s only one still in stock!!”
Five years ago, amid a foot problem, I considered buying orthotic heel lifts. Thankfully, the foot problem resolved itself, but orthotic ads track me on the Worldwide Web as diligently as sharks stalk their prey. Read more
There comes a time in every girl’s life when she puts away her dolls and moves on to grown-up pleasures. For most girls, that comes with puberty. For me, it took a few more years. OK. It took an extra half-century.
Yes, for 50+ years, I’ve kept a massive black steamer trunk full of dolls, ostensibly saving them “for my children,” but truthfully mostly just saving them.
I’m a sentimental type, a saver. OK. I’m a bit of a bit of a hoarder. Read more
The other day, on a whim, I decided to buy myself a fancy silver necklace. I’ve never bought myself expensive jewelry before. When it came to the good stuff, the big bling-y, sparkling stuff, that arrived as gifts from parents, boyfriends, and for the past 32 years, Handsome Hubby.
But I was in the mood for instant gratification. I wanted the necklace right then and there. I didn’t feel like “hinting” and waiting for HH. I’m a big girl – more than a big girl, I’m middle-aged and – by God, I can buy my own bling!
So, faster than you can say “discretionary spending,” off I went on my mission to find that perfect piece of jewelry. What I got was something entirely different! Read more
Some couples grow bored with each other, retreating to separate corners of the house, separate activities, and silent, resentful boredom. Not Handsome Hubby and I. We’re finding joy in a new, intense mid-life marital thrill. It involves strange new pleasures – Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Thumbs-Up-couple-copy.jpg433650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-07-11 08:01:342018-10-05 11:29:09Mid-life Marital Thrill: Is it Sex or is it … ?
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/fireworks-924970_960_720-copy.jpg538650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-07-04 08:24:162018-07-04 11:11:43A Happy Fourth of July for Everybody
Remember when the kids were little and you had family game night? Well, my live-at-home 26-year-old and I still play games together. More specifically, we play one game each week. More specific still, we play the same “talkin’ trash” game every Monday night. We play “Will he or won’t he … take out the trash?”
It’s a fun game. You may even play it at your house. There are set rules to it. It’s predictable – except for the outcome which makes my hair and blood-pressure rise. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Trash-2.jpg488650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-06-27 08:05:392018-10-05 11:41:34Talkin’ Trash: The Games Families Play
It’s that time of year when I’m forced to schedule my annual embarrassing doctor’s appointment. You’re thinking mammogram and pap smear. But no, I suffer from another repeating ordeal, SVD, Seasonal Vanity Disorder, a hush-hush, but common mid-life ailment.
Each June, I’m forced to hot foot it to the doctor to get a prescription for prescription-strength allergy-relief medication to soothe my itchy swollen eyelids, blotchy, splotchy derma, and yes, even my hot feet!
“Ah, seasonal allergies,” you surmise and sympathize.
Well, thank you for the sympathy, but you’re wrong about what ails me. Read more
Sure, he thought it was fun for a while. Sure, he liked being called Handsome Hubby in my Muddling through Middle Age blog. In fact, he liked it so much he even started signing emails to me “HH.” But now the fun has ended and Website Wedded Woes have begun!
HH has taken umbrage at my blogging about him and our marriage. Read more
Last week was Handsome Hubby’s birthday. What do you give a man of modest needs and wants who has everything but the time to enjoy what he’s got? A delicious home-cooked dinner with a cake made from scratch, thought I, a cooking klutz.
The truth is I’m actually a pretty decent cook, but I am sadly severely baking-challenged. So, I spent much time searching for a dessert recipe that was delicious, but also doable.
Death by Chocolate Chip
After much debate, I picked a recipe for a Mocha Chocolate Chip Cake with Mocha Chocolate Chip Icing. Death by chocolate chip! What a sweet way to go!
But then, barely-able-to-bake me made a mistake. Instead of using my tried and true 8-inch cake pans, I decided to Read more
You know the warning “Never say never?” Well, now that I’m middle-aged, I’m confident there are certain things I will NEVER say (or do).
Take a look at my list and see if there are any you’d never say either!
1. “Bartender, make that martini extra dry.”
My mother drank gin martinis. The first time she let me have a sip, I thought I would choke to death! Even for the sake of a delish green olive, I’ll never dip into that martini toxin!
2. “Let’s go for sushi for dinner.”
Really? Raw fish? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/silence_cropped.jpg505879Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-05-30 08:15:082018-06-24 16:37:3310 Things I Will Never Say
Several months back, I vowed to follow a strict diet. I wasn’t cutting carbs or calories, but celebrities. More specifically, I vowed to stop my late-night consumption of empty sugary fluff and stuff articles about celebs. Then, amid all the unrelenting and divisive bad news, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got engaged. I broke my celebrity diet and happily devoured stories about the happy couple.
But when the non-stop deluge of coverage continued unabated, I got bored. I tried to regain literary control. Admittedly it was near impossible to do amid the 24/7 onslaught of photos, fashion tips, gossip, and wedding planning updates. Still, I tried to focus on the important news of the day. And to some degree, I was successful. I know this, because just last week, Read more
Remember the old Art Linkletter bit – “Kids Say the Darndest Things?” Well, recently a young friend of mine had the darndest conversation with me about – in his estimation – my seemingly impending death!
And it all came about because of that old adage, “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/shutterstock_1080123383.jpg4531000Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-05-16 08:15:432018-06-24 16:37:34Speaking of My “Impending” Death
If you want job security in today’s increasingly automated world, be a mom. A machine may assemble a car and one day drive it safely, but no machine will ever replace a mom’s main task – providing the “emotional labor” that runs a happy home.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Rosie-the-Robot-1.jpg496650Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-05-09 08:15:452018-10-05 11:41:35Robots May Displace Workers. Never Mom
Two decades ago, in a time way before emojis, my mother refused to get a CD player. After switching from 78-rpm to 33 1/3-rpm records; from cassette to 8-track tapes; from mono to stereophonic to quadrophonic sound, she was done. CDs were, in her words, “one change too much.”
I know how she feels. These days, as a middle-aged Luddite, I’m always one techno-trend behind, always late to the latest social media party.
I only signed on the Facebook last year, and now that I’m finally getting the hang of it, scandal has erupted and many of my friends are leaving it. I have a Twitter account, but I don’t give a tweet about it. Instagram’s a mystery and Pinterest just doesn’t hold my interest.
What can I say? All right, I’ll say it. I’m anti-emoji! Read more
In physics, the Latin term horror vacui, nature abhors a vacuum, comes to us from Aristotle, and no, it does not refer to a fear of vacuums or cleaning!
In people-speak, the term means there are no naturally-occurring empty spaces because denser surrounding material immediately fills the void.
I’m no scientist. So, who am I to argue with Aristotle? I would, however, add an important corollary; Women also abhor vacuums.
Vacuums = Worrywarts. Let Me Explain
Whenever there’s a “vacuum” of information, a woman’s mind, much like a washing machine, starts spinning and quickly reaches the agitation cycle, coming up with all sorts of negative, awful conclusions to fill the worrisome info-void. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/clouds-3311971_1280.jpg8531280Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-04-25 08:05:362018-10-05 11:41:35Nature Abhors a Vacuum. Worrywart Women Do Too
So much information. So much misinformation. Politics! Parenting adult children! Aging! Where – and to whom – do you turn when you really need to know what’s what? Where are the users’ manuals I – and all middle-aged muddlers – could really use? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/almanacs.jpg1000943Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-04-11 08:11:162018-10-18 12:01:51Users’ Manuals I Could Really Use
In Belgium, they just convicted a man of sexism. It’s true.
For the first time since a law was passed four years ago, a criminal court there convicted a man of “sexism in the public space.” The Belgians were a little slow on implementation, but still, the conviction is something.
The man was fined almost $4,000 for verbally abusing a female police officer who tried to question him after he was seen jaywalking.
Viewed through the lens of the #MeToo movement and through the soul of every woman who has suffered an unwelcome catcall and stare while walking down the street, this development is welcome indeed.
Yet, somehow this law makes me dream even bigger. I long to legislate boorish behavior across a wide spectrum of issues in all sorts of public spaces. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/justice-2071539_640.jpg480640Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-04-04 06:45:382018-06-28 19:03:22In Belgium, They Just Convicted a Man for Sexism
Some people like the outdoors. Some people like roughing it. Some people I ain’t. If Mother Nature calls, I’m out.
Born in New York City, my idea of roughing it is taking the subway instead of a cab. Brought up in Las Vegas, my idea of the outdoors is the time it takes to move from the air-conditioned house to the air-conditioned car. Yes, as the joke goes, roughing it means staying at a Holiday Inn.
Now Handsome Hubby (HH), a rugged, outdoorsy type, accepts these facts (some might say limitations) about me. Early in our dating days, I had told him the harrowing tale of my one and only sojourn with Mom Nature. It was really more a word-to-the-wise there’s-a-moral-to this-tale than anything else.
Happily, HH was a good listener. He has never suggested we go camping in 30-plus years of marriage. Although when we married, he planned our honeymoon for Yosemite National Park.
“You’re taking our sister camping?” my brothers asked aghast. Read more
Nothing in life is certain, but death and taxes. True, but in my mind the list is incomplete. Snoring and sleep problems, the handmaidens of the middle-aged and elderly, are also life’s certainties.
And if you agree, then it is time for true confessions. Fess up, ladies. How many of you have fled the marital bed and sleep in separate rooms from your husband or significant other? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/shutterstock_150081260.jpg38405760Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-03-21 07:02:102024-07-18 10:17:50Death and Taxes … and Snoring
The article goes way beyond those old pantry cleaning standbys of baking soda, lemons, and salt, and takes us into the yummy culinary, I mean, cleaning arena of butter, potatoes, wine (white AND red), and olive oil! This is better than sliced bread. Oh, wait. Sliced bread is also on this innovative culinary/cleaning list! Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/3.jpg10831329Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-03-14 07:02:462018-06-28 19:00:14Household News You Can Use
Eating out used to be special. It used to be fun. Now it’s noisy, crowded, pricy, and pretentious. It’s more hunger games, the restaurant edition, than fun and games.
Where to begin my list of dine out don’t likes? I know … at the front door. Read more
Some women find bliss doing downward dog. Some get their Zen from deep breathing. Me? I get my life affirmations doing laundry. Yes, doing laundry, a task most consider drudgery and toil. I know it’s odd, but before I explain why, I must register my alarm. There’s a technological “advance” on the horizon that threatens my laundry delight.
First, about my love of laundry: It began, as most things do, with my parents. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/feet-1868670_1920.jpg12801920Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-02-28 08:01:412018-10-05 11:41:36The Joy of Laundry
Some quest for El Dorado; some for the Fountain of Youth. Others seek world peace or an end to poverty. Well, good for them.
Handsome Hubby and I have our own noble quest. We search for something of beauty; something that will bring joy to family and friends. We seek a couch, comfy and chic.
We have pursued our noble quest for ten months so far, and so far, we have met only hardship, dashed hopes, scorn, and failure.
Seemingly simple you might think to buy a living room sofa, one that’s soothing and sleek … and somewhat affordable. And also, ideally, delivered before the End of Days or, at least, before the next round of holidays and birthday celebrations. But simple it is not. Read more
It’s Valentine’s Day, a day fraught with all sorts of emotion, memories, and expectations. I personally have always loved the day. It follows by three days my parents’ anniversary and the birth of my first child. My father, who was quite the romantic, made a big deal of Valentine’s Day and so, it was very special around our house when I was growing up. As a dating young miss and Ms., I received flowers, cards, candies, and other delights with the best of them. It was all fun.
And as a special bonus, 34 years ago on Valentine’s Day, I was anointed one of the “10 Most Eligible Women in the World” by United Press International (UPI), the international news agency whose newswires, photos, films, and audio services provided news to thousands of newspapers, magazines, and radio and television stations.
I know. It’s hard to believe looking at chubby, middle-aged me today, but in 1984 the news service named me to that “Most Eligible” list along with blonde bombshell Loni Anderson; Christie Hefner, Hugh’s daughter; Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones, niece of Queen Elizabeth, and Patti Davis, daughter of President and Nancy Reagan.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/emotions-2815543_1920.jpg12801920Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-02-14 08:01:222024-07-18 10:17:50Valentine’s Day: The Prettiest Girl in the Room …
OK. It’s true confession time. And it’s one to take the cake.
Everybody has an addiction, a guilty pleasure. Mine? Cake porn. Yes, I’m a cake … and cookie … and cupcake … and pie-aholic. I’m indiscriminate and undiscerning. If it’s baked, I’m in. I cannot get my fill of the stuff.
Some people say it’s a good idea to eat dessert first, but they’re all talk. I don’t just talk about it. I regularly dessert first, dine second.
Some people like cold pizza for breakfast, but if you ask me, nothing beats leftover chocolate birthday cake.
My obsession with cake extends way beyond ingesting the stuff, I’m a voyeur as well. Read more
So proclaimed a recent report, but it is, of course, already outdated. It was outdated, in fact, one minute after it was published, because at that very moment I signed onto Facebook for the first time.
I know. I was late to the social media party. I resisted for a long time. My generation was raised to be more private. Communications were personal, one-on-one. To me, Facebook seemed a return to the days of multi-user party telephone lines, when the operator—and anybody and their mother—could and would listen in.
For years, I prided myself on standing apart from the Facebook nation. “It’s for the kids.” “I’m too busy.” I even resisted the beguiling thought of using it to “spy” on my children, and boy, was that tempting!
But now I have succumbed, succumbed in a big way. Although I must be honest. The reason, initially, wasn’t social, but Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/IMG_3420.jpg15122016Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-01-31 08:01:432018-06-28 18:24:33To Facebook Friend or Not to Friend?
It’s not too late, fitness lovers. Still, want to make good on that New Year’s resolution to get in shape in 2018, but hate the chic club scene, where all the cool girls and guys promenade, point, and flex their muscles and the latest fab workout clothes?
Well, for those of you wanting to shake up their exercise routine and scene, I’ve got a recommendation. Here’s the skinny … and yes, I do mean the skinny. There’s a gym offering workouts without clothes. Yes, disrobed, in the raw, bare-assed naked. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/3.png6241000Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-01-24 08:01:242018-06-28 18:26:14Fitness Lovers Bare All
You can make a house smart, but not a homeowner. I know from first-hand experience. You see, I live in a smart house. “Live” is perhaps an inaccurate description. “Trapped” is a better word.
You see, I have a techno-wizard son and an enabling husband, who enthusiastically says “yes” to every new electronic device the “Techno-Wiz” wants to install and program into our house.
My friends think I’m lucky to have the Techno-Wiz on-call 24/7 to solve my computer needs, but I know the ugly truth: He and my husband are engaging in a modern form of gaslighting, ostensibly working to modernize the house in ways I don’t—and will never—understand. It’s driving me crazy and that’s their real goal. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/thumbnail.png9051280Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-01-17 08:01:162019-02-10 14:37:17You Can Make a House Smart, but Not a Homeowner
Christmas has come and gone, but Instant Pot madness lingers at our house.
Handsome Hubby (HH), a modest fellow of few wants and needs, had expressed a gift wish for an Instant Pot, a wish I failed to heed until it was too late. I should have realized he was serious when he started reading New York Times Instant Pot articles to me with the solemnity he usually reserves for stories about the environment and the Golden State Warriors.
What is it about men and their desire for gadgets? Read more
New Year's Resolutions for my Beloved New York Times
I don’t mean to bug anyone, but some issues have been troubling me for a long time. So, in hopes of redress, I’m sending this letter to the new publisher of The New York Times, A.G. Sulzberger.
Dear Mr. Sulzberger:
Please accept my heartfelt congratulations on your ascension to the helm of the Gray Lady. What a terrific promotion, one that comes at such a critical time for The New York Times and our nation.
As a lifelong subscriber, I wish you the best of success. In addition, I would like to offer a few suggestions, call them New Year’s resolutions, you might consider implementing ASAP.
Before I begin, do you mind if I call the paper “The?” I feel we should be on a first-name basis since I’ve been reading The since, well, since I was old enough to read. My family always subscribed to The even when we lived out West and had to have the paper mailed to us in the dark ages before regional printing presses and the Internet.
Turning first to the Tuesday Science Section: Let me preface my remarks by affirming: I believe in evolution. I believe in vaccinations. I believe climate change is real.
That said, I must speak out on behalf of a neglected group of readers who—each week—are cruelly assaulted by your Sci-editors. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/NYT.png529800Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2018-01-03 08:01:382018-06-28 18:31:39Bugs Bug Me in the Air … and in Print
As 2017 comes to a close, I’ve got exciting news to share with you. Muddling through Middle Age has just been named one of the “Top 100 Humor Blogs and Websites on the Web.”
Thank you so very much for making this designation happen. Your chuckles, good cheer, and punctuation corrections make my Muddling labors so much fun.
Handsome Hubby and I wish you and your family health, happiness, and an abundance of laughter in 2018.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/happy-new-year-2018.jpg11521920Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-12-31 09:14:312017-12-31 09:12:35News, Gratitude, and Good Wishes
You know the expression “to throw in the towel”- meaning to give up? Well, I am trying the opposite. I’m turning to towels, dishtowels to be specific, for inspiration and wisdom in 2018.
Maybe it is the challenging times we live in. The nation seems more divided than ever. We’re all scared about a possible war with North Korea. And I personally feel adrift, desperately trying to figure out what to give my sister-in-law for her birthday this year.
So, you can imagine my delight the other day when birthday gift shopping online, I found inspiration, indeed true enlightenment in … of all things … Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/lily-624653_1920.jpg14401920Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-12-27 08:01:152024-07-18 10:17:51Throw in the Towel in 2018
So sang the Rolling Stones. I know how they feel. For sadly, I can’t get no satisfaction. My husband no longer satisfies my needs the way he did in the glory days of our courtship and first years of wedded bliss.
“Oh, God, not again,” he moaned just the other day as I gently nudged him awake. “We just did it,” he lamented.
“Come on,” I demurred sweetly. “That was hours ago. Come on. Get up.”
“You’re killing me,” he protested. “I just cannot do this seven-nights-a-week and twice on weekends. I’m not young anymore.”
“Come on,” I repeated. This time in a firmer voice.
“You’re insatiable,” he muttered weakly.
Now, I suppose you think I’m talking about sex … Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/times-square-1457783_1920.jpg12801920Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-12-20 08:03:462024-07-18 10:17:51I Can’t Get No Satisfaction
It’s a chubby middle-aged woman’s dream come true—an exercise pill. Soon – well, one day – maybe, we’ll all be one swallow away from svelte!
It’s true. Well, sort of. What’s true is that scientists are working on drugs that provide the benefits of exercise without the need to actually move a muscle, get off the couch … or, horrors, sweat.
Imagine the possibilities. Imagine the delight. Read more
CARSON CITY, NV — Who would have thought they would stay together? The odds of them lasting much beyond that first fast attraction were small.
He was a small-town boy, who lived most of his childhood in one tiny house in Reno, Nevada, one tiny town. She was a Big City girl. The smallest “town” she had ever lived in was Las Vegas.
His life plan was to practice law in Gardnerville, Nevada (population 3,414) and take lots of time off to cross-country ski. She had big city dreams, wanted a brownstone facing Central Park and to win the Nobel Peace Prize for ending the Cold War.
For her birthday, he gave her four books. The first three were cookbooks including one titled “The Enchanted Broccoli Forest.” To put it kindly, she was less than enchanted.
“Why cookbooks?” she asked with more than a hint of outrage. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/J-and-K-new.jpg482871Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-12-06 05:12:042024-07-18 10:17:51Carson City Courtship – What Were the Odds?
Here’s a cute, true-life story, compliments of a dear friend of mine. The subject is period trackers. And spoiler alert: this is not a new computer app for grammarians, but for gals.
The period trackers I’m referring to are computer apps that track menstruation cycles, and while admittedly most “women of a certain age” didn’t need this, my friend’s story illustrates how the subject of the “birds and the bees” has become even more complicated … and comical … nowadays. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/app-CC.jpg16742400Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-11-29 08:00:132018-06-28 18:41:03Period Trackers. Not for Grammarians
Happy Thanksgiving, my dear middle-aged muddlers! Have a wonderful holiday. Enjoy your family and friends. Eat hearty and be well.
As for Handsome Hubby and me, we’ll be muddling along—cooking a vegetarian, vegan Thanksgiving dinner sans turkey for our vegetarian, vegan spawn! Wish us luck as we create new traditions while celebrating the past!
I’ll be back next week with new Light Laments for women (and men) “of a certain age.”
I’ve separated and sorted, trashed and stashed, and donated with the best of them. I’ve consolidated, re-arranged and shelved. But I’ve still got Possession Obsession and I need help. I need storage solutions. Yes, that’s it. I need stuff for my stuff. Salvation! Read more
I have a confession to make: Like many women of a certain age, I suffer from possession obsession. I have too much “stuff” and don’t know what to do about it. You know what I mean – I have an overabundance of material objects that I don’t want or need, but somehow cannot bear to shed. Read more
Halloween has come and gone. I’d better get started with my holiday gift list or I’ll be in big trouble. I’m not talking about my holiday gift-giving list. I’m talking about my gift-getting list. Oh, let’s be honest. It’s my “Really, Really Want, Gotta Have, Pretty Please, Will You Get Me This” list.
All year I’m on the hunt for perfect Christmas, Hanukkah, birthday and “just because” gifts for family, friends, and colleagues. I even buy “unbirthday” gifts for attendees at birthday parties, because I love shopping for others. I am such a dedicated gift shopper, that when my children were growing up, we celebrated the “birthdays” of their stuffed animals. Any excuse for cake, ice cream, new book purchases and gift bags!
But come the holidays, my “give unto others” spirit makes a U-turn. I lust for carefully curated payback from loved ones in the form of “just right” gifts for me.
And who better to pick what’s “just right” than me?
If you’re honest, deep in your heart, you’re a tiny bit like me. Admit it. You’ve endured a few too many years of ill-gift-gotten-gain in the form of toaster ovens, fuzzy slippers, and hand-held vacuum cleaners.
So, in the spirit of female solidarity, I offer these eight tips to make your holidays (plus Mother’s Day and birthdays) brighter and your gifts better. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/gift-444519_1920.jpg13351920Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-11-01 08:00:592024-07-18 10:19:338 Tips for Personal Holiday Fulfillment
I wanted this blog to be positive, free of fiery and fierce political rhetoric. I did not want to make it a forum for hate speech or rigid doctrinaire policy statements.
In the interests of free speech, I even let a friend post a “Go Cleveland” comment in response to my “Go Golden State Warriors” essay. That’s how fair-minded I am!
But the time has come for me to take a stand. I need to state for the record – clearly and loudly: Please believe me. Please accept that I really am allergic to cats. Do not think ill of me. They just make me ill. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Sneeze_in_white_hankie.jpg714800Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-10-25 08:00:072024-07-18 10:26:01Cats Make Me Scratch
My dear Middle-aged Muddlers, last week as you recall, I “documented” my struggle to combat the shame of a droopy mouth and thin lips.
In my 20s, 30s, and 40s, I used excessive amounts of lip liner, lipstick and lip gloss to compensate. I also awkwardly smiled a lot to mask the droop.
In my 50s, I “graduated” to injectable fillers. They were costly. They hurt, but they helped.
Then one day my dermatologist told me that fillers were no longer the solution. Age, genes, and gravity were winning. If I wanted a perky pout, I needed stronger medicine. I needed plastic surgery.
Specifically, I needed a corner lip lift, a tricky procedure involving incisions on each side of the mouth with no place to hide the scars. Done poorly, the procedure leaves the patient resembling Batman’s nemesis, The Joker. Having seen pictures of botched procedures, I assure you, that is no joke.
My dermatologist referred me to a plastic surgeon, one of the “pioneers” of the corner lip lift procedure. I made an appointment, canceled it and called to re-schedule. I repeated this cycle of hope and fear three more times before I ultimately met the doctor. It was time to meet my re-maker. Read more
The amazing screenwriter, journalist, and author Nora Ephron hated her sagging neck.
I hate my lips.
Nora lamented the pitfalls of maturing – aka aging –in her best-selling book, I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman. As the title suggests, she especially bemoaned her saggy, baggy neckline and her middle-aged need to camouflage the offending body part with scarves.
Well, my nemesis is my lips. However, unlike Nora, my problem isn’t solely the result of aging. It’s a lifelong curse. And unlike Nora’s scarf solution, I cannot cloak my offending feature. For decades, I have suffered in silence, but no more. Today I share my shame. Read more
Do you suffer from inheritance guilt? It’s a problem many of us middle-aged baby boomers face. Your parents pass on and you inherit all their “stuff.” Are you grateful or do you buckle under the weight of unwanted material overload and guilt?
Nowadays, more and more of us fall into the suffering and lamenting category. One friend of mine cannot wait to dispose of her mother’s mink coat. Another hates her mother’s bright orange, fish-patterned ceramic platter. For me, the cause of distress – fine china.
And while it’s all well and good to lament, on a practical basis, what do you do when you have too much of a good thing or even too much of a bad, but deeply sentimental object? Read more
My recipe for good health and vitality is not fresh fruit, but vanity. Yes, apples are nice, but compliments are so much better.
Yesterday I had several errands to run and a few appointments to keep. It was a busy day. So, I made an effort, did a bit more than just throw on some jeans. Truth be told, I did a lot more. I, as they used to say, gussied myself up. It paid off. I got four compliments from four different people.
One woman, a make-up artist at Bloomingdale’s no less, told me how much she liked my lipstick.
A passerby on the street complimented me on my cool jacket.
My lunch companion admired my green-lacquer necklace, and the waitress praised my shiny fire-engine-red nail polish.
I rode the BART home feeling pretty good about myself. I met my husband for dinner. He was tired and not feeling great. He offered no compliments or even much by way of conversation. It was a quick dinner, and home we went to a quiet evening of TV and sleep.
I thought about the compliments I had received that day. They were great. I sincerely appreciated them. Truth be told, I needed them the way someone in the Sahara Desert welcomes a sip of water. But they made me think. They were different than the compliments I used to get in “the old days.” Funny how we say “the old days” when what we actually mean is the days when we were young. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/fruit-2135856_1920.jpg14401920Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-09-27 08:04:572018-10-05 11:41:39Apples are OK. Compliments are Better
A recent Saturday night at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley, Ca. Handsome Hubby and I went to the famed venue for the first time to see Beck, a musician I have long admired and long wanted to see.
The concert was sold out, but a friend gave us her VIP tickets. What a generous treat. Cool, right? Totally cool.
Well, apparently Handsome Hubby (HH) and I are not cool, at least we’re not Berkeley cool.
Second-Hand Smoke
It was a rock concert. So, yes, we should have known. It’s Berkeley. So, yes, we really should have known. But we just weren’t prepared for the magnitude of it all. It was overwhelming. Read more
Hillary Clinton recently revealed how creeped out she felt when Donald Trump lumbered along behind her during the debates and how sorry she was she hadn’t told him to back off. Well, I recently had my own shout-out moment, and I’m proud to say I took it.
Now no one would ever accuse me of being a shy, weak and wilting flower. No one would ever say I’m one to hold back on my opinion. That said, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve mellowed a bit and try not to rock the boat quite so often. Yet, the other week in Reno, Nevada, I showed my true colors – and then some. Read more
Something was lacking in our marriage and I hadn’t even realized it. Then it hit me. We don’t have a special song. Now I worry. Can the marriage be saved? Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/IMG_3059.jpg15122016Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-09-06 09:26:412024-07-18 10:24:40We Don’t Have a Special Song
Early in our marriage, my husband and I kept track of who owed whom what. We kept itemized lists for most everything, but most of all, we counted movies. I liked foreign films, preferably with subtitles. He liked, no, loved, action films, preferably with lots of blood.
Usually, it was a zero-sum game. One foreign film for one action flick. If the foreign film was so boring that even I had to admit it was boring, I had to pay up with two action films in a row. If the bloody action film was so violent that even Handsome Hubby (HH) had to look away, I’d get two foreign flicks as recompense.
Then, at some point through the many years and the many movies, the system broke down. We stopped counting. As long as there was good popcorn and the seats were comfortable, we were a happy movie-going couple. No give and take required. A natural film equilibrium had been achieved. We both took this as a sign of middle-aged marital bliss and contentment.
The Battle of the Bed
But, of late, a new source of counting has creased our otherwise happy marital countenance. We’re having trouble in the bedroom, more specifically in bed. Read more
Both the mighty and the not-so-mighty worry. Shakespeare’s Prince Hamlet pondered lofty questions from his castle keep; I ponder less esoteric topics like how to keep olive oil.
Hamlet contemplated the unfairness of life and debated avenging his father’s murder by his uncle, now stepfather and king. He pondered life itself:
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them:
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/olive-oil-968657.jpg36485472Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-08-23 09:53:352018-10-05 11:41:40Where Do You Keep Your Olive Oil?
It used to be that criticism belonged to the ranks of five classes of people – professional critics, impartial consumer product reviewers, your mother, your best girlfriend, and your in-laws.
Now, thanks to the Internet, everybody’s a critic. Everybody with a bone to pick — informed or terribly ill-informed — is a critic.
You can ding short-staffed restaurants, struggling retailers, and barely-managing masseurs on Yelp; you can demolish drivers on Uber and Lyft, and you can anonymously trash-talk people on all sorts of social media websites. It’s a scary Internet world.
For a long time, I ignored casual “citizen” reviewers. If I wanted to know what somebody thought, I wanted to know what somebody-in-the-know knew and opined. If I needed a theater or a movie review, I opened The New York Times Arts and Book Review sections. If I needed a new toaster or vacuum cleaner, I turned to Consumer Reports.
If I needed confirmation that my husband was an insensitive clod, I asked my mother (although she generally sided with my husband). If I thought I looked fat, I’d ask my girlfriend for a hasty assurance that I was mistaken.
But now I know that everything is reviewed online, even you, even me! Read more
I hate to complain, but I just got back from my so-called vacation and I cannot tell you how much I wish I had followed my instincts and opted for that restful, peaceful stay-cation I so dreamed of.
As you may recall, Handsome Hubby (HH) had invited me to join him on a business trip to Hawaii. I was reluctant, but you know me, always the good wife. So, off I went.
“Oh, Hawaii. How fun,” enthused everyone I told about the upcoming trip to our nation’s 50th state. “Wait – you’re not excited?”
“Nope, not a bit,” I’d politely replied. “I’m more a desert rat than a sea and sand fan.”
I understand that the idea of a Hawaiian getaway sounds great to most people, but I’m from Las Vegas. My idea of a watery retreat is a mega-resort and swimming pool, lightly chlorinated, with me floating on a pink raft with a Diet Coke in the drink holder.
As for the ocean? I don’t snorkel. I don’t scuba dive. I don’t surf. I’m afraid of the water. Of rip tides. Strong tides. Big waves. Any waves.
I’m scared of sharks, jellyfish, stingrays, even random tiny fish that swim by. I don’t like sand in my swimsuit and I hate the stink of salt water in my eyes and its taste in my mouth.
Then, there’s the chubby-thigh issue and the extended walk of shame from the unfurled beach towel to the water’s concealing, albeit treacherous, waves. No itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini for me. No way.
In short, I was apprehensive about a vacation to Hawaii. It turned out, I was right – but not for any of the aforementioned reasons. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/shutterstock_78370258.jpg60009000Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-08-02 10:03:142018-10-05 11:41:40Celebrity Diet: Words to Live By
I’m not sure what prompted the recollection. I was just sitting on the couch watching some silly spy movie for the 17th time with Handsome Hubby. Somewhere between the commercials, the snacks and nodding off, I engaged in a little middle-aged woolgathering, the way we of a certain age do from time to time. I remembered something I hadn’t thought about in a long time – my own, true-to-life, almost CIA spy adventure.
I was young. (Like I said, it was a long time ago.)
I had studied in the then-Soviet Union, had two degrees in Russian Area Studies – political science, history, language, and economics, and spoke Russian with some degree of fluency.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/The-Avengers-Emma-Peel-mrs-emma-peel-33340990-800-600.png600800Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-07-26 08:58:592018-06-28 17:10:26CIA? Me, a Spy? Oh, My
My Husband Threw a Dinner Party, but I Wasn't Invited
“Honey, do you mind if we host a dinner fundraiser at the house for XYZ solar energy non-profit organization next month?” queried Handsome Hubby (HH).
“Of course not, darling,” I devotedly replied. “My casa es tú casa,” I oh-so-wittily added.
“You won’t have to do anything,” he assured me. “It will all be catered and the organization’s staff will be on hand to handle anything that comes up.”
“Of course, darling.”
Pearl Mesta, Smesta
Of late, we have become quite the Pearl and whatever Pearl Mesta’s husband’s name was of hosting events at our home. Our home isn’t large. We can only do gatherings of 40-ish folks for receptions and buffet dinners or just 16-18 for sit-down dinners, but still, we throw a pretty good “do” – if I do say so myself.
As the days ticked down for the solar fête, my husband looked a bit worried.
“Problems with the dinner caterer?” I asked.
“Noooo” came the hesitant reply.
“Unexpected conflict on your calendar? If so, no worries. I can host solo if need be,” I graciously offered.
He got a strange, stricken look on his face. Read more
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Guess-Who.jpeg502682Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-07-19 08:00:462018-10-05 11:29:16Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner?
Do you remember the doll Chatty Cathy? If you grew up in the early 60s, you probably had one. Second to Barbie, this pull-string talking toy was the most popular doll on the market. I had a Chatty Cathy and loved her dearly.
And like my doll, I was a regular Chatty Cathy. I talked so much as a child that my family used to pay me to keep quiet. I’d get a nickel for every fifteen minutes I’d keep still. The truth is, I didn’t collect many nickels.
I wasn’t just chatty. I was really friendly. I once invited a total stranger over to our house. When he showed up, my mother won’t let him in, of course. But he wouldn’t leave. My mother called the police and that night both my parents gave me a stern lecture about not talking to strangers.
Yet, if I wasn’t supposed to talk to strangers, my middle-aged mother was setting a bad example. Read more
Pick up a fashion magazine, any fashion magazine, any day of the week, and you’ll find all sorts of tips on how to keep your skin youthful looking, your body from aging, and your hair shiny and healthy. Sadly, however, there is one aging dilemma yet to receive widespread media attention, and that is the problem of droopy earlobes.
Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
That’s right – droopy earlobes. It is one of those dirty little tricks Mom Nature plays on you. As you get older, your earlobes droop, and all those precious dainty button earrings you have, suddenly don’t look so cute on your now dangling, bobbing, overly-spacious lobes.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/shutterstock_644243953-1.jpg6661000Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-07-06 14:07:052018-06-28 17:17:50Do Your Ears Hang Low?
Early one morning our microwave broke. I ordered a new one. A delivery date and time for installation were set and that was that. No big deal, at least not for me, but for others, life without a microwave was a challenge. Read more
“I think, therefore I am,” Descartes said. Yet, as people age, many switch to a different, less inspiring paradigm, namely ‘I ache, therefore I am.”
I have, for instance, a cousin who spends entire telephone conversations reciting litanies of medical ills, without offering even one hosanna for the medical miracles that keep him alive and kicking and well enough to bitch and moan the whole time on the phone.
For my part, I have always vowed to age gracefully and suffer silently whatever slings and arrows come my way.
Well, that pledge has been put to the test lately and I confess, I have to give myself barely passing grades in the dignity and grace department.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/shutterstock_531815716.jpg26533771Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-06-21 10:36:152018-10-05 11:41:41I Ache, Therefore I Am
I had gotten up early to prepare croissants for my Barnard College book club meeting. I baked, I dressed and was heading out the door, just when the gardener showed up, an hour earlier than expected.
The night before I had given Handsome Hubby (HH) a list of “to do” tasks to review with the gardener. HH had dutifully set his alarm for the expected arrival time. Yet, here was the gardener 60 minutes ahead of schedule and I needed to leave. What to do? I woke HH, who zombie-like lumbered out of bed.
Back in the car, I buckled my seat belt, adjusted the mirror and opened the garage door. I was inching the car out of the garage when I looked up. There was HH gesturing wildly for me to wait.
“Yes?” I expectantly and lovingly asked, opening the car window as he rushed to the side of the car.
It’s not my weight. My table manners. My political opinions or even my high-pitched snorting laugh. It’s gotten to the point he won’t be seen in public with me – or to be more precise – he won’t go for walks with me.
Blame it on the state of the world. Blame it on the folks in Washington, D.C. Blame it on my children or my husband (my personal default fault mode). Whatever the cause, I have long yearned for moral clarity and distinct boundaries between right and wrong. I am tired of gray, of ambiguity, of uncertainty. I need to know who the good guys are, who the bad guys are, and that the outcome of things will be for the best – and to my liking.
And in my desperation, I turned – for the first time in my life – to a new source of solace. No, not religion. Sports. Yes, in the Spring of 2016 I unexpectedly became a devoted – no, make that a fanatical – Golden State Warriors basketball fan. I now proudly sport a tee shirt – make that an officially NBA-sanctioned-tee-shirt. Yes, I pledged allegiance to Dub Nation.
(And to think, just a short time ago, I had to ask my hairdresser what the “Dub” in Dub Nation was. For the uninitiated, non-Californian, it is slang for the beginning phonetic pronunciation of the letter “W” in Warriors which is “dub-bel-yoo.” Got it? Duh!)
In the old days, my husband and I disagreed about desert vs. mountain locales, city vs. more pastoral settings. Should we live in Las Vegas or Reno? Nevada or New York City or at least Washington, D.C.? Somehow we navigated our way through the difficult marital waters of very different lifestyles and career paths and recently celebrated our 30th anniversary.
However, add an ‘s’ to desert, and we now find ourselves facing a marital incompatibility for which there may be no solution. The issue is dessert. We never saw eye-to-eye on this caloric highpoint of a meal, but when we were younger, it didn’t matter. We could eat a lot (really a lot) and it wasn’t a problem for either of us. Appetizer, bread with butter, soup, salad, big entrée, potatoes, and, of course, dessert – always dessert. We could feast and then exercise it off.
But now, in our late middle years, our “middles” reveal the excesses of our gluttony. You’ve heard the unfortunate expression “muffin top?” I think of my midriff as more of a “seven-layer-cake cascade” and Jon’s as an “ice-cream crescendo.” Read more
Do you remember Cat Stevens? If you are middle-aged, you undoubtedly do. And if you liked folk/rock music, you undoubtedly loved Cat Stevens. Well, I am middle-aged and I loved Cat Stevens. I loved him more than Gordon Lightfoot, on whom I had a slight musical crush. And I probably loved him more than the Beatles, who were my gateway drug to Rock ‘n Roll.
So, I cannot tell you how excited I was to learn that Cat Stevens was touring again. When I read the ad announcing his concert dates, I entered not only the date of his San Francisco concert in my iPhone but also – in all capital letters – with a 15-minute ringtone reminder for safety – the date and time the tickets would go on sale. I canceled my standing exercise class to stay home to buy the tickets at the exact second they went on sale. I sat by my computer, my finger poised above the “buy” button, all in an effort to get the best seats possible. Even so, the tickets I scored were a bit further back than I would have liked, row R, but no matter. Handsome Hubby and I were to set to see Cat Stevens in concert.
Growing up in Las Vegas, surrounded by exaggerated showgirl images of womanly perfection, a girl gets a harsh sense of her own physical imperfections.
Growing up anywhere in America, bombarded by plastic surgery-altered images of celebrities, a woman gets a clear image of a possible path to physical perfection or at least improvement.
In my youth, I scoffed at the idea of surgical alternations, but now that I’m older, I’m not so sure. Like many a middle-aged woman, I stare in the mirror and catalog a growing litany of facial flaws – jowls, bags under the eyes, thinning lips. Need I say more? And so, I wonder if maybe, just maybe, I should rethink that long-held anti-plastic surgery stance.
Well, amazingly I just found a non-surgical solution to my sagging features and equally sagging self-image – one that restores my former youthful glow and good-(ish) enough looks. And best of all, it didn’t involve a trip to the plastic surgeon’s office.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/dried-flowers-1149191_640.jpg425640Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-05-05 09:05:022024-07-18 10:17:52Are You Still Sexually Active?
“What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet;”
So argued sweet, naïve Juliet about her love Romeo’s last name. Well, as we all know, the tale of Romeo and Juliet did not end well. While many lessons can be learned from this story of teen love gone tragically awry, for me, the lesson is that there is a lot at stake when it comes to your name. And sadly I’ve faced innumerable struggles with mine. Well, not innumerable. I can count them. In fact, to quote Elizabeth Barret Browning, “Let me count the ways.”
"Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet, Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God’s great Judgment Seat." Rudyard Kipling
I’m a city girl, as in The City, The Big Apple, New York City. He’s a western, small-town-kind-of-guy. I’m a Gucci-kind-of-girl. He’s always been a cowboy- boot-wearing-guy. And I don’t mean the fancy, handcrafted, custom-made, snakeskin, gold-and-silver encrusted Tony Lama or Lucchese kind of cowboy boots. I mean unadorned, work boots. “Shit-kickers,” as my father so eloquently – and accurately – described them.
https://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/cowboy-boots-975103_1280-e1491858782596.jpg8321276Karen Galatzhttps://muddling.me/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/kg-logo.pngKaren Galatz2017-05-05 09:00:522024-07-18 10:17:52These Boots are no Longer Made for Walking
I bought Elle magazine this week. I could not resist its siren call. It was the September/Fall back-to-school issue, the fat issue. You know, the issue loaded with more ads and ostensibly more features than usual, touting the latest in Fall fashions and back-to-school styles. It is, in fact, the only time it is acceptable to use the words “fat” and “fashion magazine” in the same sentence, no less the same issue.
I didn’t really look at the cover. I was transported by the magazine’s girth and recollections of decades ago Fall issues when I really cared about hemlines and waistlines and whether bangs were in or out, hot or not, and in a general sense, what was what and all the latest whatnots.
Super Readers
I Tried to Join an Exclusive Club - Epic Fail!
We all know the expression “Pride goes before the fall.” Well, in my case, I took “the fall” big time this Fall season
It began last January when I set a loosey-goosey goal of reading “a lot” of books in 2024. It started when I saw an article about Super Readers, which sounded super impressive. I didn’t bother actually to read the article, but on the spot, I decided I would become one too. It wasn’t prudent of me. The devil — and the pride — is always in the details! Read more
Name Woes
Pronounce My Name Correctly. I Dare You!
Pity poor me! I suffer from a multitude of name woes. From a last name that’s unpronounceable to a first name that is widely mocked, I suffer from the slings and arrows of moniker misfortune! Read more
Trash Talk
How Often Do You Empty Your Trash Cans?
How about a little trash talk of the non-political kind?
I am a half-glass kind of optimist. However, I am decidedly not a half-trash-can kind of housekeeper. In fact, I am barely a one-piece-of-trash-in-a-trash-can kind of housekeeper!
You may say it’s a curse or a compulsion. I say it’s a credo — a badge of pride. I am most decidedly my mother’s daughter AND my brother’s sister. We are/were a trio of neatniks. (My father, not so much. He belonged to a different tribe. A tribe of tricksters and hooligans. More on him in a minute.) Read more
Faces and Places
A Homeless Man Whose Face I Won't Forget
“Faces and Places.” The title comes from a gentle, sentimental Tom Paxton song written decades ago. Yet, it now comes to mind in a completely different context. Read more
Today’s Magic Words? Two-Day Free Delivery
Throw in "Easy to Return" and It Really is a Magical Retail Moment
Most girls go gah-gah when their guy whispers “I love you.” While those words are sweet, I, a die-hard New York shopaholic, prefer a man who murmurs a decidedly different set of magic words: “I can get it for you wholesale.” Better still, if he — tall, dark, and a retailer, proclaims he can provide two-day free delivery, I’m all his. If not, I’m just as likely to shout in my best Brooklynese, “fuggedaboudit.” Read more
Wildfire Evacuation Critics
I Thought I Had My To-Go Bag in the Bag!
We just weathered a wildfire evacuation alert. We were warned that come morning, we’d likely need to leave our home. I prepared for the worst, loading the car with clothes, medicine, and irreplaceable photos and mementos. Thanks to the skill of firefighters, we didn’t have to leave. Still, afterward, there were consequences! I faced a choir of wildfire evacuation critics, who complained my emergency packing measures fell short of “their” expectations! Read more
Sweating the Small Stuff
Classic Kitchen Conundrums
Some people ponder big philosophical questions — the meaning of life, who wrote the book of love. Weighty stuff like that. Me? I’m stuck sweating the small stuff. What’s the difference between a large and a small shallot? Can I refreeze meat I’ve already taken out of the freezer? And do you have to rinse dishes before loading the dishwasher? Read more
My Kid Won’t Call, but My Doctor Won’t Quit
Doctor's Office Reminders Are Making Me Sick
It’s truth. My kid won’t call, but my doctor won’t quit. He’s relentless. Texting. Emailing. Calling. Nonstop reminders about upcoming appointments. He’s a regular pain in the neck! Read more
Horsing around … Seriously!
A new hobby contender?
Get ready, Olympiads. There’s a new sport on the horizon. Hobby horsing! And I’m not horsing around … Seriously! Read more
Battle of the Sexes? No, Battle of the Salads!
Can This Meal Be Saved?
Some spouses argue over sex or socks on the floor. Not us. We constantly squabble over salad. Yes, it’s the sad and sordid truth. We are sorry salad squabblers. Read more
Overrun with Cats and Kittens
My Latest Infestation
Infestations continue to rule my life. First, came the neighborhood creepy crawling caterpillars and snakes. Then, came the fungus gnats swarming my beloved indoor plants. Now, I face the most insidious infestation of all. My Facebook feed is overrun with cats, kittens, and German shepherds. Read more
National Award News!
Happy News. Happy Orthopedic Boot Dance.
Exciting news to share! My Matzo Chronicles column just won a national journalism award. Read more
Don’t Ask Me. I Won’t/Can’t Dance
A Two-Footed Lament
It’s the start of Week Four after (double) foot surgery and while the pain is finally starting to subside, definitely don’t ask me. I won’t/can’t dance.
“Double foot surgery?” you query, wondering rightly whether I have a screw (or a shoelace) loose. Read more
Giving Your Guy Grief
"Ba da ba ba ba. I'm lovin' it"
Sometimes, Ladies, there is no greater joy than giving your guy grief. I mean the joy of a good “I told you so” is a thing of beauty. Am I right or am I right? Of course, I’m right! Read more
Straws Cause Wrinkles?
Bad News for Sippers
I thought I was a super sipper when I switched from plastic to paper straws. Hooray for the environment. Hooray for me. But now, alas, there’s more bad news for sippers. Straws may cause wrinkles. Read more
Today is My 70th Birthday
Say It Ain't So!
Today is my 70th birthday. Can you believe it? More importantly, can I believe it? Yes, but just barely! Do I have angst about aging? Well … Read more
The More, the Merrier?
Polycule Me Not!
For some long-married couples, the flames of passion may have faded. If you’re in that camp, you might be interested in joining a polycule. Don’t know what it is? Well, it starts with the idea that “the more, the merrier.” Intrigued? Amused? Worried? Read on! Read more
Nutty to the Max
Whose a Peanutter?
Allergy Alert! Do not read this blog if you are allergic to nuts, puns or have a low tolerance for silly stuff. Also, consider yourself warned: this blog is nutty to the max! Read more
A Wild Week of Transitions
It's True: Old Age Ain't for Sissies
It was a wild, emotional week of transitions, one sentimental and two providing vivid proof that old age ain’t for sissies! Read more
Done and Done. Two Lifetime Dreams in Three Months
ANOTHER Blog about Handsome Hubby
It’s been quite a run. In just three months, I’ve accomplished two, count them, two lifetime dreams — seeing the Northern Lights AND traveling to The Netherlands. And it’s all thanks to you know who — Handsome Hubby. That’s why I’m writing ANOTHER blog in praise of HH.
Yes, I know, I know. It’s disgraceful. Read more
Whirlwind European Vacation
Handsome Hubby Orchestrates a Grand Tour
Greetings all, I’m back from a wonderful, whirlwind European vacation. We walked, we “museum-ed,” we ate, we canal-cruised, we gawked, we delighted!
Now, to ease my way back into writing, I thought I’d share a few trip highlights. Read more
Northern Lights. Familial Sights
Connecting with Nature. Connecting with my Father
The trip was one-part anniversary present, one-part dream travel destination. Most of all, it was a long, longed-for spiritual re-connection with my father gone from my life for almost 40 years. The trip: to witness the Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights. Read more
Epic Fails. In the Gym. In the Kitchen.
I Strike Out EVERYWHERE!
It’s been quite a week, both glorious and hard. We just returned from an amazing anniversary journey to witness the famed Northern Lights which was a long-time dream of mine. However, the return home was marked by multiple epic fails, most of my own doing. Here are just a few of the lowlights. Read more
Call Me Plastic Surgery Curious
Pondering a Facelift
When I was young, I sniffed and sneered at the idea of plastic surgery. Now that I’ve reached what is politely called “a certain age,” I’m not so sure. At 69, my jowls have headed south, and my neck waddle rivals a turkey. As a result, I’ve become plastic surgery curious. Very curious. Read more
3 Things Older Women Should Ditch ASAP
Decluttering of and for the Spirit
I recently saw a list of 55 household items mature women should throw out. It was a curious grab bag featuring futons, wire hangers, and souvenir shot glasses. Useful suggestions (I suppose), but lacking in deep, meaningful advice we older women need So, to correct that omission, here are my 3 Things Older Women Should Ditch ASAP! Read more
A Champion Napper Meets Her Match
Thousands of Naps Per Day!
I’m not much of an animal lover. I’m scared of dogs. Allergic to cats and during my parenting years, I witnessed the demise of too many goldfish, gerbils, and hermit crabs to count. So, it is with the greatest irony I find myself identifying with — no, make that, jealous of — one creature in the vast animal kingdom.
The animal? Read more
My Default Mode? Guilt, 24/7
So Much for New Year's Resolutions
Most people are flexing their New Year’s Resolutions muscle. Not me. I’m already stuck in my default mode: guilt! Read more
Pondering Long Life
Going to the Dogs in the Process
Norman Lear just died at 101. God bless. Rosalynn Carter at 96 and Henry Kissinger made it to 100. Does the thought of such a long life thrill — or chill — you? Read more
Thirty-Seven Years Ago
It was the Opposite of a Terrible, Rotten, Horrible, No Good Day!
Thirty-seven years ago, Handsome Hubby and I said our “I do’s.”
To state the obvious, a lot has happened in the years since then. Read more
Devilish December Book Angst.
I Didn't Make the List, Again. Bah Humbug!
It’s the holiday season, the time when most peoples’ minds and tummies turn to shopping and food. Not me. Devilish December signals my full-blown seasonal book angst. You think I’m kidding? Read on. Read more
Happy Thanksgiving
Giving thanks.
Good health. A loving family. Lots of friends. Rewarding work. Loyal readers.
So much to feel grateful for.
From our home to yours,
Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.
Here’s hoping you too find much to feel grateful for
as we celebrate this festive — and caloric — occasion!
Gifts I DO Want
Greed is Good ... or So I Heard
Last week I detailed a lengthy list of gifts I don’t want for the holidays. This week, I turn to the gifts I do want. It’s a shorter list, but it’s pricy. So, hold on to your wallets and buckle up. It’s a doozy! Read more
Gifts I Don’t Want
Thanks, But No Thanks
Read more
Food Fights
In the Kitchen and Washington, D.C.
When did food become Public Enemy No. 1? We’re constantly in food fights with ourselves (the eternal battle for self-control) or occasionally, consciously or not, we’re subverting the diets of the ones we love. Why they’re even having food fights in our nation’s Capitol!
This week, I’ve got tales of all three. Read more
Fellow F.O.B.O. Suffers Unite!
There's a Better Way ... I Think!
I suffer from F.O.B.O. Who knew? Do you? Read more
Slow Cooker Salvation
A Cooking Klutz's Can-Do Device
My grandmother was a great cook. My mother was a great cook. So were my sisters-in-law. Handsome Hubby is a whiz in the kitchen. I, on the other hand, am a well-known cooking klutz.
My mother and grandmother tried to teach me the culinary arts, sharing prized family recipes. My sisters-in-law gave me cookbooks. And HH misguidedly took me on “romantic” date-night cooking classes. All epic fails! Read more
An Epic Passing
Going Out with a Roar
Like many people of a “certain age,” Handsome Hubby scans the daily newspaper obituary notices. He signs, moans, and groans when he learns of the passing of yet another classmate or long-ago colleague. I used to roll my eyes. “How long has it been since you spoke to them or even thought of him/her?” I would say unsympathetically. But the other day, he shared the obituary of a man I had never met. It brought me to tears. The obituary detailed an epic passing — one that Handsome Hubby and I now aspire to! Read more
Liar, Liar
My Pants are on Fire!
From childhood on, we are taught not to lie. Yet, in my increasing decrepitude, I realize I increasingly lie … and that is the truth! Yes, liar, liar. My pants are on fire! Read more
Belly Button Lint and the Ig Nobel Prizes
Welcome to the Land of The Who Knew
I’ve been navel-gazing — all in the name of science, and I’ve learned a lot about belly button lint. Of course, I want to share. So, buckle up, my friends, for this first-ever Muddling through Middle Age, SCIENCE EDITION! Read more
Celebrating the Dog Days of Summer
Something Different. A Somewhat Visual Blog!
Here’s something different! Just for fun in keeping with these lazy dog days of summer, I thought I’d offer something different … a somewhat visual collection of signs, slogans, and jokes I’ve collected that gave me a tickle. Now I hope they give you one too.
Enough preamble! Let the ramble begin! Read more
I Want to be a Celebrity Wife
My "Wine Me, Dine Me" Summertime Whine
It’s the end of summer and I’m feeling restless. Discontent. Work-a-holic Handsome Hubby won’t take a vacation. All I do is slouch around, wearing baggy sweatpants and jeans. Clearly, I’m in a rut. What to do? Based on reading People Magazine, the “only” solution to my summer ennui is to marry a mega-star and become a super-hot celebrity wife. Read more
Handsome Hubby is Hot
An Ode to AC, Not Me
HH is hot and happy. For him, it’s Christmas in July. Well, August. Of course, energy efficiency is the reason. Read more
Something in the Water
Fitness Fights are Not Fun
There must be something in the water! For the past week, there’s been absolute warfare in the pool at my gym. I kid you not. The matronly “ladies” in my Aqua Fitness class have been more focused on throwing fits than actual fitness. It’s downright disturbing! Read more
Courage. That’s the Ticket
Less of a Ha-ha Blog. More of an A-ha Moment
I keep reading articles stressing the importance of resilience as we age and believe me, I’m not knocking its value. But two weeks ago, I was reminded about the need for another trait — courage. Read more
Never a HOA Again
Give Me Land. Lots of Land. Don't Fence Me In!
It’s not quite the Homeowners’ Association from Hell, I grant you that, but still, ours is a pip. Its non-stop “well-meaning” intrusiveness is enough to make Handsome Hubby and I swear, “Never a HOA again.”
Happily, we live in an email world. So much of this HOA contact comes via a blizzard of electronic messages.
The latest alerts: rattlesnakes! Read more
Relationship Red Flags and Now, Beige Flags
Should This Relationship Be Saved?
Young moderns face a maze of dating conundrums that we muddling middle-agers luckily avoided. Dating apps, a smorgasbord of scary social diseases we never heard of, and casual sexual practices that make me cringe. Yet, some things about dating remain the same — relationship red flags! You know, glaring — blazing — warning signs that a potential partner is a mega-no-no.
Still, today, life and dating seem more complicated, and youngins not only have red and green flags to signal relationship status in their social media conversations, they’ve also added “beige flags” to the online conversation mix. Read more
The Bearer of Bad News? Not I!
One Ringy Dingy
I called my 31-year-old son the other day. His first words were, “What’s the matter? What’s wrong now?”
Does he perceive that I am always the bearer of bad news? Yikes! Is he right? Am I always calling with bad news? Worse yet, is there only bad news to convey? Read more
Dare to Go Bare
The Golden Age of Naked Dressing
Naked dressing. It seems to be a contradiction in terms. Yet, from the catwalks of Milan to the Oscars and the Met Gala, all the gorgeous gals are doing it and I say it’s high time we fleshy middle-aged muddlers jump on the fashion bandwagon and dare to go (nearly) bare! Read more
Slap Fighting is a Thing. What Kind of Thing?
Now, That’s a Slap in the Face!
Will Smith’s slap of Chris Rock was soooo last year! Please, girlfriend! Today slap fighting is an official sport. Read more
Restaurants Go to the Dogs
Specialty Tasting Menus and Cocktails for Bowser!
I may be wading into dangerous waters but for the love of Lassie, America’s pet mania has gone too far! From hipster Brooklyn to my former beloved near-neighborhood, silly San Francisco, they —more specifically — restaurants have gone to the dogs with specialty menus and cocktails for Bowser and Spot!
Bow wow ow! Read more
Do Not Google My Name
... Or Anybody Else's
I couldn’t sleep. I started randomly googling names of former colleagues, old friends, and long-lost relatives. In the process, I discovered three disturbing facts which leads me to this advice: do not google anyone’s name! Read more
This and That
I've Got a Lot on My Mind!
I’ve got a lot on my mind — a lot! From adults dressing up like Disney characters to Peeps-favored Pepsi and governments that cannot communicate clearly! It’s time for a dose of this and that. Are you ready? Read more
My Plants are Killing Me
My Own Little Shop of Horrors!
Remember my battle with the fungus gnats? Well, I’m proud to report that they are no longer among us! However, my plants are now mad at me. In fact, it’s possible my plants are trying to kill me! Read more
Karen is the BEST Wife EVER!
by Guest Columnist Handsome Hubby
I am honored to be writing today as Muddling through Middle Age’s first guest columnist. I am especially honored to be writing about my wife, Karen Galatz, the BEST wife EVER! Read more
Marching Forward with My March Diet
Do or Diet!
January resolutions have come and gone. February Valentine’s Day chocolates have long been gobbled down. Now, I’m marching forward with my March diet.
Call it March madness if you will, but my diet is prompted not by thoughts of Spring and swimsuits but by Read more
Size Matters
Say What?
Handsome Hubby and I have been happily married for 36 years but since moving to Reno, Nevada, I’ve begun casting a wandering, lustful eye at my neighbors to the left and to the right. The reason? Size matters!
Read more
The Brains of the Family
Handsome Hubby is at it Again
Without dispute, Handsome Hubby is the brains of the family. Now, he wants to be the brains OUT of the family too! Read more
Physics Flop
Foiled Again!
I’m in a doomed relationship with Physics. Yes, Physics, the science of the nature and properties of energy and matter. In short, the science of everything. For decades, I’ve tried to learn the basics, only to give up baffled and defeated. If you, like me, have a subject or skill you long to master, I’m sure you can relate. Now, old, I still try — as Olivia Newton-John suggested in a song, — to “Get Physic-al.” Read more
Out, Out Damn Gnats
Buggy Over Bugs!
Domestic calamities come in all sizes and shapes. This one, I grant you is small, but since I am a writer who believes all molehills can be made into mountains — or at least blogs, please read my sad saga of the gnats that plague my plants, my house, indeed my very soul. Read more
Valentine’s Day Gift Wishes
I've Become THAT Kind of Girl!
It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I cannot believe it. To my horror, I’ve become that kind of woman. You know the kind. The kind that wants practical, not romantic gifts! Read more
Updates from My Aqua Fitness Class
Getting Along Fine in the Alone Lane
I’m from NYC, so you’d think I’d be used to crowds but somehow when it comes to my Aqua Fitness class, I’m in a league — and lane — of my own. Read more
All the News Not Fit to Deliver
A Customer Service Lament
“All the News Not Fit to Deliver.” That PLUS “customer service be damned” should be the new motto of both my beloved New York Times and the local newspaper here in Reno, Nevada.
Since Christmas, Read more
New Year’s Wishes
Greetings to all my fellow middle-aged muddlers,
Is it really — already — a new year? Shocking and exciting!
May 2023 bring you love, health, and happiness.
From our home to yours,
Karen and Handsome Hubby
Early New Year’s Resolutions
Declare Goals Early. Accept Failure Quickly!
I like to get my New Year’s resolutions stated, started — and failed — early. That way I can begin the new year with my guilt gone and sense of order intact. “Same old. Same old me” is my mantra.
We all know exercise is good for you, at least that’s what the experts say. But I’m beginning to have my doubts. And fitness slacker that I am, I dare to pose the question: Read more
Channeling My Channel Confusion
So Many Streaming Services. So Many Passwords
So many great programs to watch at home these days, but accessing them is an exercise in channel confusion. Every time I pick something to view, I discover it’s only available on a streaming service we don’t subscribe to.
The problem — and my frustration — is especially acute Read more
8 Tips for Holiday Gift-GETTING Fulfillment
Sure-Fire Ways to Get the Gifts YOU Want
Thanksgiving is over. Cyber and store sales are in full swing. Time to write my holiday gift list. I’m not talking about my holiday gift-giving list. I’m talking about my gift-getting list. Oh, as I like to call it, my “Really, Really Want, Gotta Have, Pretty Please, If you Love Me” gift-getting fulfillment list. Read more
Gratitude
Happy Thanksgiving, my dear Muddling through Middle Age friends,
In the midst of grocery shopping and cooking (including my own first-time solo baking of pies), I’m pausing to give thanks — thanks to all of you for coming along on this mostly humorous writing journey through our almost-oldster years. Your comments, your emails, and most of all, your support mean the world to me. I hope you’re enjoying my blog half as much as I am writing it!
From Handsome Hubby and myself,
Much joy, health, and happiness to you as we begin this festive time of year.
Until next week, I close this message with just one word — gratitude.
Karen
Sink or Swim?
Will Excuses or Willpower Win the Day?
I’ve got a nasty case of the wintertime blues. It’s leaving me feeling old, fragile, and unfit. But I’m a fighter, a take-charge kind of woman. So, I’m not down for the count. Now, in my latest attempt to win the Battle of Old Age, I’m taking drastic new steps — more precisely new laps. Will I sink or swim? That is today’s question. Read more
A Delightful Blast from the Past
In Touch after 48 Years
I’ve been down in the dumps for some time — not about everything, just about one big topic. My world has grown smaller or at least, the number of people I hold dear has grown fewer.
I’m not talking about the passage-of-time fewer people, the deaths and the distance that occur as we age. That sadly is to be expected.
No, instead I’m talking about Read more
Protecting My Privacy … from ME!
The Gatekeepers are at MY Door
Most days we worry about our lack of privacy. Our devices listen to our conversations. Yes, I’m talking about you, Siri and Alexa. Online our interests and purchases are being tracked. Yes, Target and Nordstroms, I’m talking about you. This week, however, I faced a different sort of privacy problem. Nameless gatekeepers were protecting my privacy from me! Read more
Wanted: Sleep Solutions STAT
Sleepy and Grouchy are We
Lately, I’ve taken to saving articles I’m too tired to read for a later date. The topics of the articles? How to get a better night’s sleep! Ironic, no? I’m too tired to read articles about how to get enough sleep! So, sadly, I remain a woman seeking sleep solutions STAT! Read more
Odd Odds and Ends
Produce Stickers, Matching Manicures, Fat Bear Week
It’s mid-October. Time for my seasonal house and office cleaning. That includes a long overdue review of my overflowing e-folder of pending story ideas. As usual, it’s chock full of juicy tidbits that didn’t quite make it to full-blown stories but are too “delicious” to discard without sharing. So, without further delay, here’s a sampling of odd odds and ends. Read more
In Praise of a Short-Order Cook
A Sentimental Blog about Short-Order Cooks and My Father
When I was 12, I had a terrible ear infection. We had just moved across the country to a new town. I didn’t know anybody, couldn’t go to school, was in pain, had balance problems, and was just miserable. But I found weekly salvation in the kindness of a short-order cook and my father. Read more
Sani-Hut Insanity?
We're on the Outs with the HOA Again
We’ve had a Sani-Hut “parked” in our driveway for the past three weeks. It’s not attractive, I admit, but the workmen installing new windows and a garage door appreciate it. Our neighborhood homeowners association? Less so. Read more
Torn Jeans, Tattoos and Other Taboos
Pity Poor Me
Growing up, I chafed under three parental fashion edicts — no tattoos, no pierced ears, and no torn jeans with frayed edges or holes. Oh, the life of a suffering teenager! Read more
Carrying on about Carry-on Luggage
What's in Your Suitcase?
Ah, the joys of carry-on luggage. What fits? What doesn’t? What’s allowed? What isn’t? What don’t you mind having scanned? What’s too embarrassing? It almost takes the fun out of traveling! Here to help — me and the good old New York Times! Read more
My Kingdom for a Good Night’s Sleep
Still, I am not Inspired to Inspire™. Rivet!
My struggles with sleep apnea continue. I got a CPAP machine in the Fall but cannot get acclimated to it. I just came back from an appointment to consider getting the Inspire™ implant (more on that in a moment) and all I can say is: I’m not inspired. So, I’m still exhausted and cranky. My kingdom for a good night’s sleep! Read more
Home Decorating Magazine Addict
A Designing Woman — In My Dreams
Each month I haunt the mailbox, eagerly awaiting the latest edition of my favorite home decorating magazine. I thrill flipping through the pages. Yet, even then, my desire isn’t satisfied. Sadly, I’m a home decorating magazine addict, craving more and more. Read more
Down with Self-Checkout Machines!
And Smile at Your Supermarket Cashier
Nobody likes a hater. That is true. But I confess, I’m a red-hot, fumble-fingered hater when it comes to self-checkout machines. I say, “Down with the machines and hear, hear for the cashiers and baggers of the world!” Read more
It was a Bad, No Good, Rotten, Stinky Week
And It Was My Own Fault
Oh, what a week! It was, in fact, a no good, rotten, stinky week. I was supposed to be in NYC for the first time since the pandemic. I was supposed to see two Broadway shows. Supposed to see an exhibit of theater memorabilia. Supposed to see one of my best friends. And most important of all, I was supposed to attend my niece’s graduation.
I was supposed to do all that and I couldn’t. The worst part: the reason I couldn’t travel was my own fault. Read more
“Real” Men Don’t Do Baths. Really?
Rub-a-dub-dub-dub. No Men in a Tub!
Why do women love to take baths and men view them as something akin to waterboarding? This I do not understand. Yet, statistically speaking, it’s so. Most men don’t do baths, viewing them as “girly” and a waste of time.
Now, before you flood my inbox (and my bathroom) with protests to the contrary, Read more
Why Do Some Marriages Last? Why Do Some Fail?
A Query Sparked by 4th of July Fireworks
The Fourth of July is a sentimental favorite holiday for my family. My parents met on a blind date at Coney Island that evening. There were fireworks then and for five decades after! They were as different as day and night. As I think about them, I often wonder why do some marriages last and why others fail? Read more
Nobody Called Me Back
Is Customer Service Dead?
Nobody called me back. I am not exaggerating. Not the car “service” people. Not the doctor’s office. And not even our contractor. Is customer service dead? Read more
Online Cremation Services? No Thanks
I'm Doing a Slow Burn Over the Very Idea
Online dating. Online shopping. “What’s next in the world of online convenience?” you ask. Well, thanks to companies with names like Tulip and Solace, you can send Mom and Dad to that Great Urn in the Sky without budging from your couch and — hold onto your mouse — get their mortal remains sent to you via USPS! Read more
I Ain’t Old. Just Ask Methuselah
I'm Still Muddling through Middle Age
You’re as old as you feel. Well, today I feel as old as Methuselah. And “for the record,” Methuselah was 969.
Now, I mention “old” man Methuselah not to kvetch about my aching back, bones, and feet but to make a point about aging, more specifically, definitions of age. How old is “old?” And when does middle-age end? Read more
Meet László and Marika Somogyi
Two Extraordinary People. Models of Resilience, Caring, and Kindness
Today, June 1, is a grand day in the lives of two extraordinary people — László and Marika Somogyi.
It is László’s 91st birthday and it’s also the couple’s 71st wedding anniversary. Both lived through the Holocaust and the Hungarian Revolution. Both are exemplary models of resilience, grace, and kindness who remain as optimistic and engaged with life as they were in their youth. Read more
It’s My Birthday and I’ll Ramble If I Want To!
Assorted Thoughts on my B-day
It’s my 68th birthday. I’m not having a party, but I do have a few random thoughts on texting, cartoons, and not-so-complimentary compliments. Read more
Trouble in Marital Paradise
Handsome Hubby's Got Yet A(nother) New Honey
There’s trouble in marital paradise. Handsome Hubby, the man with a roving eye, has got yet another new honey. He’s spending all his free time with her, and I worry his work is suffering too.
All HH’s friends think she’s hot too. They’re also spending time with her, using and abusing her. It’s disgusting. Read more
My 50th High School Reunion
Wow! That's All I Can Say. WOW!
Just back from my 50th (!) high school reunion and I’m still wondering where have the years gone. Surely, I/we cannot possibly be old enough to warrant a half-century coming together? Yet, there we were, throwing masks and caution to the wind, hugging, kissing, and reminiscing faster than the DJ could spin tunes.
I’m challenged to process my feelings Read more
Belly Fat, No Belly Laughs
Ho, Ho, Oh, No!
Much like Scarlett O’Hara, I once took much pride in my tiny waist. But that was long ago. Now, more like Santa Claus, I have belly fat. But no belly laughs from me. More, oh, no, no than ho, ho, ho!
Yes, once, I was a lass with a classic hourglass figure, but time, Read more
Some Men Show Love with Hardware, not Hard Slaps
A Non-Will Smith Blog
While much of the nation is still obsessed with The Slap, Handsome Hubby is indulging in one of his obsessions — household hardware. The man is a drawer pull, knob, switch plate, and electrical outlet cover fanatic. Yes, this blog is about a man who shows his love with hardware, not hard slaps. Read more
Ready to “Dip” Into the Diamond Market?
Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing Has Just the Bling!
Man-made diamonds have been around since the 1940s, but diamonds made of food products? Well, that’s a relatively new trend, both from a fashion — and culinary — standpoint. Are you ready to “dip” into the food-based diamond market?
If so, the very latest comes from the makers of Hidden Valley, the Chicago-based condiment maker, which worked with geologist Dean VandenBiesen to create a two-carat sparkler out of its famed ranch dressing. Read more
The Day My Music Died
Curse You, Not-so-Smart Phones and The Cloud, Too!
Some people like to listen to music as background noise. Not me. To me, music is sacrosanct. I listen to music with an almost religious intensity. Yet, recently, there was a crisis in my musical life. The day started out normal. Peaceful. But when it ended, it was the day my music died. Read more
Rebel with a Little Cause
Who Knew a Little Free Library was a No-No?
I’ve been working hard to adjust to life in Reno. It’s a far cry from NYC, Las Vegas, and Berkeley, but I’ve been doing pretty well. Sadly, however, things took a turn for the worse last week, no thanks to a letter from the neighborhood homeowners’ association. Now, I’m a rebel with a little cause.
It all started when Read more
Wanted: A New Best Friend
I'm Not Fickle. Just Lonely
Six months in, life in Reno is going surprisingly well. Admittedly, I don’t like the cold, but I knew that from the proverbial get-go. But after months of contractor and supply chain delays, the house is finally shaping up. Handsome Hubby is enjoying spending time with old friends. We’re healthy. Work is good. Still, I’m lonely. I don’t have an RBF — a Reno best friend. Read more
Supply Chain Woes
May I Live Long Enough to See My Deliveries Arrive!
From the garage door to the bedroom, my life is a litany of supply chain woes. So many items, so many delays. I’m starting to fear I won’t live long enough to enjoy the fruits of my spending spree of new home purchases! Read more
Sleep Apnea? Not Me. No Way.
Except It Seems So
I’ve been a “teensy” tired lately. Well, honestly, I’ve been exhausted for months. I wake up tired no matter what time I go to sleep. No matter if I nap. No matter what. Sleep apnea, you surmise. No way, I say! Read more
As We Age, Doctors Say the Darndest Things
Physician, Heal Thyself!
“As we age …”
“I assume you’re retired.”
“It’s just part of the aging process.”
These phrases are part of my new — and offensive — normal, as I make my unmerry round of first-time doctor appointments in our new hometown. Read more
Prodependency Like the Pros
Ina and Her Jeffrey. HH and Me
First of all, who knew prodependency was a word, no less a thing? But sure enough, it is both.
So, now you — and me — know.
This new buzzy psychological term is different than codependency, which most of us are familiar with. Read more
Good-bye to a Friend, Harry Reid
A Personal, Not Political, Memorial
Somebody important died. He was important to the nation. He was important to his home state. To his family. And he was important to my family. His name was Harry Reid. Read more
Karens of the World, Take Heart
We Coulda Been Irmas, Irenes ... or Igors!
We Karens have taken it on the chin in recent years, becoming a globally derided meme for racist, elitist, and generally nasty behavior. Well, now Karens of the world, take heart! It seems the only thing worse than being named Karen these days is having an ‘I’ name!
Here’s why: Read more
A Head Start on Failed New Year’s Resolutions
Slouching into 2022
I’m avoiding the January rush, admitting early my abysmal history of failed New Year’s Resolutions. I know I won’t lose 10 pounds. Know I won’t exercise more. Know I won’t eat healthier. And, more importantly, know I won’t be a kinder, more patient person.
After 67 years, why go through the painful effort of trying? Read more
Season’s Greetings
Merry, Bright and Healthy
Stay Warm.
Stay Healthy.
Jolly and Merry.
Cuddle with those you love. Read more
The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through His …
All Hail the Spicy Crab Pot
Last week was our 35th wedding anniversary. You might think after all these years that passion has abated in our marriage, but you’d be wrong. Handsome Hubby is still one hot honey. As for me, I thought I knew the way to a man’s heart, but this year … Well, this year was a bit different. Read more
Why Can’t We Get Along? Punch Drunk or Just Punch It Out?
A New Holiday Tradition?
Why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t we set aside our differences and let bygones be bygones? It’s a common enough lament in families, politics, religion, and life.
While we all want to get along, it is admittedly tough to do. Yet, in Peru, they’ve got a system — a Christmas tradition, in fact — where they do just that. Read more
Tale of the Toilet
It's Potty Time
We just splurged on a fancy-pants electric toilet with a seat warmer and all sorts of bells and whistles. Unfortunately, it’s so complicated, it requires instruction to operate! Instead of taking reading material to the toilet, we’ve had to study before sitting! And so, with this tale of the toilet, please indulge me in a little potty talk! Read more
Happy Thanksgiving
Be it vegan, vegetarian, paleo, or traditional,
may your holiday be filled with favorite foods.
But most of all, I hope your day is
overflowing with laughter, love, fond memories, and gratitude.
As for me, I’m adding a hearty helping of thanks
for all my fantastic Muddling through Middle Aged readers.
Happy Thanksgiving.
It’s All a Blur. A Problem with My Eyes
At Last! An Old-Age Lament I'm Ok With!
For at least a year now, I’ve noticed a problem with my eyes. No, that’s not specific enough. I’ve noticed a problem with my vision. No, that’s still not specific enough. For almost one year, I’ve had increasing trouble seeing. There. I’ve said it. I’m having trouble seeing. Read more
Clean Freak Meets Her Match
Dust and Debris, One. Housewife, Zero
I’m a clean freak but I’ve met my match. I’m sitting in the middle of my house, surrounded by dust. I could clean, but I’ve given up. Yes, I’ve thrown in the dust towel. Read more
Machismo on the Road
Fast Times. Big Trucks and Third-Finger Salutes
Here in the West, machismo on the road rules. It’s all about fast times. Big trucks. And go, man, go! Especially at a yellow light.
Just yesterday Handsome Hubby and I were reminded of that speed-up-at-a-yellow-light rule when Read more
My Face Has Gone to the Dogs
More Bow Wow than Wow
When I was a child, my Uncle George would grab my cheeks so hard I thought he’d lift me off the ground.
“Such a shayna punim,” he’d exclaim with joy. (The term is Yiddish. It literally means “pretty face” but colloquially means what a pretty girl.)
“Yes!” my parents would reply with equal joy.
At 6, I hated Uncle George as I rubbed my aching cheeks, and I hated my parents for allowing this unwelcome greeting. Read more
Dating is Tough? Try Finding a Contractor
The Contractor Crunch!
In the old days, I thought dating was tough. Forget that. Try finding a reliable contractor! Read more
Some Say Whip It! Others Say Nay
Whip It Good? No Way!
“Whip it good,” sang popular rock group DEVO in 1980, but today a group of downtown Reno residents is singing a different tune.
They say whips — yes, whips, the things cowboys typically use on horses — aren’t good for human bodies, souls, and most important of all, sleep. And the local PD agrees, Read more
My New Career
Fellow Eaters, Take Note!
Attention, fellow middle-aged muddlers,
I’m excited to inform you I’m starting down a new career path. Read more
Wanted: One Demiurge
Look It Up. You'll Want One Too
I want a demiurge — Greek for a subordinate god who shapes and arranges the physical world to conform to some rational and ideal shape.
Now, I’m not trying to get all philosophical on you. Believe me. I don’t know my Plato from a plate of pasta fagioli, but I desperately need someone to bring order to my disorderly universe, and well, if it was good for the Greeks, then it sounds good to me. Read more
Woman in Fashion Rut
Seeking Inspiration STAT
I’ve got the wildfire + mask-wearing + middle-aged blues. Yes, I’m a woman in a fashion rut. I need inspiration STAT. Read more
Icon Iris Apfel: Still Stylish at 100
Meeting Up with an Old Friend at Lowe's
I ran into an old friend at Lowe’s this weekend. It was quite a surprise for two reasons. First, she lives in NYC, and second, she’s 100 years old. You just don’t expect to run into centennials in the paint section of a hardware store on a wildfire-fueled smoky Saturday in Nevada. But there she was, Iris Apfel. Read more
Livin’ La Vida Loca in a New Town
Middle-Aged Muddlers, Rejoice!
Ah, life in a new city. So exciting. So much to do! And so much adventure. Yes, we’re livin’ La Vida Loca. It’s a middle-aged muddler’s dream.
Week six in Reno and each day brings something new. Why just this morning, we discovered wet carpet in the downstairs hallway, and that, in turn, led to a discovery of — you guessed it — mold! Now we’re in for a jolly good time getting that sorted out!
But wait! I’m getting ahead of myself. Read more
The Great California Invasion of 2021
Out, Out Damn Californians
Former Nevadans, we decamped California back to Nevada to escape out-of-control wildfires and taxes. We returned for peace and quiet. Yet, now in Reno, we suffer anew amid smoke from the same CA wildfires and the hordes of Californians who also flocked here. Yes, we’re in the midst of the Great California Invasion of 2021. And it’s pandemonium.
Now, all I can say is, “Out, out, damn Californians.” Read more
Our Adventure Begins
(But Really, Let's Talk about Handsome Hubby ... and Ice Cream)
Well, we’ve arrived in Reno at our new house. And so, our new adventure begins in earnest.
Hooray or oy vey? Read more
Crocs are Still a Thing!
My Aching Bunions Rejoice. My Stylish Soul Laments
Last night, in bunion distress, I tossed out the last of my chic pointy high heels. My achy feet rejoiced, but my stylish soul cried out in despair. Later, seeking new comfortable shoes to buy, I discovered — to my extreme horror — crocs are still a thing!
They’re not just a “thing,” they’re proliferating — like mushrooms, mildew, and nuclear weapons. Read more
HGTV Stars are the New Hot Hotties
Dating Musicians is So Yesterday!
Dating HGTV stars is a thing now. All the celebs are doing it. Well, two are. But I expect it is going to be the trendy trend of 2021! Yes, HGTV stars are the new hot hotties. I get the appeal. Who won’t want a guy who’s good with his hands, swings a big hammer, AND has a keen eye for design? In fact, with this big move to Reno just days away, I gotta get me one STAT! Read more
Moving Madness
Reno or Bust
You’ve heard of March Madness? Well, I’m suffering from Moving Madness, leaving a home I love to begin life anew in a new city.
I’ve moved a lot in my life. So often I attended 22 schools. Yet, somehow, nothing equals the extreme effort associated with this 175-mile trek across the Sierra Nevada Mountains from Berkeley, Ca. to Reno, Nv.
Maybe it’s because I’m older. Maybe it’s because real estate transactions have gone electronic and I’m a Luddite. Or maybe it’s because the real estate market is so competitive. I don’t know, but this move feels more momentous than any other in my life. Read more
Packing Boxes and Unpacking A Choice Tidbit or Two
Oceans Aplenty, Sofas Divine, and A Spooky Urn!
Here in Berkeley, Ca., we’re busy packing for the move to the Biggest Little City in the World — Reno, Nv. And since it feels like I’m organizing my entire life around this move, I even cleared out my overflowing inbox. The reward? a clean desk for me AND a choice tidbit or two to share with you. Enjoy!
Tidbit One: Oceanic Happenings
Read more
Man, Woman, Warriors, Love
Golden Memories
Just like an “everything” bagel, this “sporty” love story has a bit of everything.
It’s the story of my friend Amy and her late husband Robert. And it’s about courtship and marriage over a basketball court. Actually lots of basketball courts. Read more
Excuses. Excuses. Believable and Some Not So
I just read an amusing article entitled “21 Believable Excuses For When You Need To Flake On Plans.” My question: who needs an arsenal of 21 excuses? I mean one or two, OK. Maybe three. But 21? Who is that busy? Who has that many appointments, social or other, requiring a person to stockpile excuses like toilet paper in a pandemic? Read more
Home Sales and Staging
All the World's a Stage. Now My House is Too
“Oh, your house is so beautiful.”
“Oh, you have such beautiful taste.”
Yes, the “beautifuls” were dropping like bombs as the realtor and his “assistant” toured our home.
“We’ll have no trouble selling it,” he assured us. “Homes like this are selling well above list price all over the Bay, and with a view like this …” Read more
A Belly-Busting Addiction
Boy, Oh Boichik Bagels
Here in the Bay Area, sitting out the pandemic, I developed a belly-busting addiction.
It’s surprising it’s taken so long. Read more
Bad Behavior Met with Sweet Forgiveness
In Praise of Handsome Hubby on his Birthday
Sometimes, not often, bad behavior is rewarded with sweetness. This is my story of a lost ring, a lie, and one such sweet reward. Read more
Trigger Phrases You Shouldn’t Say to Cats or Kin
Meow Meow No No's
I’m no cat lover. They cause me to sneeze and wheeze. Still, when I saw “5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Cats,” I was intrigued. Who knew cats were so attuned to language! I thought “If cats react to trigger phrases, isn’t it true that family members do too?” So, non-feline lover me read the article, seeking guidance about how to deal with the non-felines in my life. And now, as a result, I’m amending that original cat-icle to include additional Trigger Phrases You Shouldn’t Say to Kitties, Kids, or Kin. Read more
Post-Vaccination Etiquette Tips
Do's and Don'ts
The New Yorker recently ran a truly hilarious piece on post-vaccination etiquette tips. But it didn’t cover everything we need to know and so, in the spirit of these challenging changing times, I offer a few “modest” additions. Read more
Scams We Can Use?
There Ought to be a Law! Oh, Wait. There is
They say cheaters never prosper. But sometimes their actions give cause to pause simply for their sheer audacity. Such was the case this week when in rapid order — one, then two — I read of scams so ridiculous, they took my breath away. One has birthday gift-getting implications, and since my b-day is around the corner, I confess it’s giving me unwholesome food for thought. Hence I wonder – are there scams we can use? Read more
A Whine about Wine
I Still Scream for Ice Cream
I hate to whine and be ungrateful, but I cannot help myself. A dear colleague of my husband just sent him a case of wine as a thank you gift. And I’m asking, why couldn’t he have sent a case of ice cream? So, yes, this blog is a whine about wine.
When did America fall in love with wine? Read more
My Almost Fame with The Daily Show
I Thought I was a Contender
In 1985, Andy Warhol said, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.” Well, it’s 2021 and I had three minutes of almost fame with The Daily Show. That was two weeks ago, and I’m still sitting around, waiting — waiting desperately for the 12 additional minutes of glory. Read more
Nonfungible Tokens and Me
A Clear Case of I Don't Know What I'm Writing About
Yes, the subject is nonfungible tokens — NFTs for those in the cryptocurrency know. Of course, Luddite me is hardly in the cryptocurrency know. But stick with me, dear middle-aged muddlers. This blog promises to be pretty funny. Read more
Spring is Springing. Allergies Too
Here’s a List of 5+ Weird Allergies.
Spring is coming. The sun is shining. Flowers will soon be in bloom. Unfortunately, my allergies will be too. Ah, the good with the bad.
In preparation for my yearly — losing — battle with itching, sneezing and a non-stop runny nose, I re-upped my antihistamine prescription (for all the good it does me).
While preparing to wage my seasonal allergy war, I also checked the Internet to see if there are any new allergy treatment breakthroughs. While disappointed not to find any medically sanctioned miracle solutions, I discovered a host of weird allergies I had never heard of. And since misery loves company, I thought I’d share some of the more unusual ones with you, my likely fellow allergy sufferers! Read more
Handsome Hubby has a New Honey
I've Been Replaced
I’m no longer the apple in Handsome Hubby’s eye. I’ve been replaced. It’s sad but true. My man has a new honey. Read more
Air Guitar Glam, Glory and Sweat
I Need a New Sport. I Need a New Body
Sheltering-at-home baking. Sheltering-at-home Zoom meetings. And sheltering-at-home EVERYTHING has created a severe case of a sheltering-at-home chubby body. I need to do something STAT to shake up the doldrums and this lardy body surrounding them. Hey, I know. I need air guitar.
Now please don’t tell me to “Just go for a walk.” BORING. Read more
New Meaning to the Phrase “Hot to Trot”
Travel at Any Price
A recent travel industry poll claims that people are so hot to travel trot, they’re willing to give up sex for an entire year for the opportunity to get away ASAP.
Now, I understand after a year of pandemic stuck-at homeness and worry, we’re all antsy and anxious to hit the road, take a train, grab a yak, or even — horror of horrors, board a boat. But still, giving up the pleasures of the bedroom for the pleasures of the road? That’s a road too far! Read more
Pillow Fights or Pillow Talk?
My Queendom for a Good Night's Sleep
Remember when you were a kid and pillow fights were fun? Remember when decorative pillows were piled mile-high on your bed just “for show?” Well, these days my pillows and I aren’t even on speaking, no less sleeping terms! Read more
This Blog is a Gas
Mama, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Flatulists
For something completely different, here’s a blog about farting. Yes, it’s a real gas. But please don’t think me an uncultured oaf. Au contraire, mes amis, au contraire! I am simply — and 100% accurately — reporting on a cultural phenom by the name of Joseph Pujol who took Paris by storm at the turn of the last century as a professional farter and entertainer! Read more
Discontinued Products. Loyalty Be Damned
Consumer Beware. Consumer So Sad
We all know the bittersweet nostalgia that comes with thoughts of beloved foods from childhood. But what feeling conveys — truly conveys — the feeling we get about recently discontinued products, like favorite cosmetics and toiletries?
Lately, manufacturers have stopped making multiple of my tried and true products. Oh, cruel companies! I’m a creature of habit. You’re rocking my world and NOT in a good way. Read more
The Great British Baking Show
Our Sweet Addiction
Some people like to do it. Some people like to watch. Count Handsome Hubby and me in the second category. We’re watchers. But don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about something kinky. Well, maybe it’s a little kinky, but we’re not alone. We’re just two of the millions of fans of The Great British Baking Show. Read more
Nail Ridges: The Latest Sign of Aging
Down in the Valley, the Valley So Low
Amid pressing national concerns, I’m dealing with yet another personal aging crisis — nail ridges. Happily, at least, I’ve found a song to accompany me in my misery.
The song? Read more
Return to Sender PLEASE!
I'm All Shook Up
“Return to Sender,” a 1962 hit song for Elvis Presley, might as well be my theme song these days. Not only am I sitting around sheltering in place and waiting to receive the Covid-19 vaccine, I’m also waiting for returns/replies to messages I sent out, some several weeks ago.
Don’t you hate when people lack the courtesy to reply to messages? Read more
Good-bye to a Best Friend, Shannon Verser
November 19, 1952-December 27, 2020
This first post of the New Year is supposed to be upbeat. After all, this is a humor blog and it is the start of our collective, new, better year. But please bear with me. Instead of looking forward, I’m going to pause and say good-bye to someone special who died — one of my closest friends, Shannon Verser. Read more
Season’s Greetings 2020
Season’s Greetings to all.
Happy! Merry! Healthy!
May the New Year bring brighter days. A return to family gatherings and hugs.
Lunches and brunches with friends. Read more
Learning a New Language
Me? I'm Learning Millennial Speak
Among the most popular pandemic goals people have set: learning a new language. Some are focusing on Spanish. Others French. Not me. I’ve set my sights on something truly exotic — Millennial-speak. And I swear, by the end of our sheltering-in-place days, I’m going to be so hip, errr, I mean, woke, you won’t know me! Read more
‘Tis the Season for Pandemic Gift-Giving
Pandemic Plentitude
Oh, my. Pandemic gifts are the rage. Well, in any case, they’re throwing me into a minor rage or at least a serious holiday funk. What to give loved ones when you’re social distancing? If you’re in need of a few helpful — and healthful — hints, here are eight suggestions, some tongue-in-cheek, some genuinely useful. After all, ’tis the season for pandemic gift-giving!
Read more
Showers are Dangerous to Your Health
Slips and Sulfates. Oh, My
I used to love my morning shower. Bracing, yes. A refreshing pick-me-up and I’d emerge with shining hair. What could be better? But now? Now I’m older and wiser. I have the wisdom of age AND the Internet. I know better. Showers are dangerous to your health!
Yes, ladies, I say to you all, step away slowly and carefully! For your health and safety, step away tout de suite! Read more
Turkey Insurance: Get Your Gobbler Covered!
Bye-Bye to Burned Birds?
Cooking turkey to perfection is a challenge. Even seasoned cooks worry. But now, if you fear your fowl might turn out foul, take heart. You can reduce the risk. Trot right out and take out turkey insurance! Read more
Four Credit Card Gripes
Too Often, Too Much, Too Long, Too Small
We cannot live without our credit cards, true. But still, don’t they drive you crazy sometimes? I personally have a list of four credit card gripes. Check them out and see if any of them rise to the level of full-fledged grievances for you too. Read more
A True Confession!
For the Good of Society ... No Less!
A-hum! Now that I have your attention, here’s my not-so-juicy true confession: I don’t have a ha-ha funny blog this week. Not because I’ve been lazy or because I’m feeling sad. Instead, I’ve just been immersed in two back-to-back writing conferences, and like most of you, watching election returns non-stop.
But while I don’t have a blog this week, I do have an election-appropriate word to share and it is, as they say, a humdinger! Read more
50 Amazing Gifts I Don’t Want
What’s Wrong with Me?
I just read a list of “50 Amazing Gifts that Women Actually Want.” I thought it would provide some useful suggestions to pass along to Handsome Hubby, but I was wrong. It was actually a list of 50 gifts I don’t want. So, now I’m worried. Was something wrong with the list or is something wrong with me? Read more
Will My Vegan Spouse Become a Carnivore Again?
Be Still My Pounding Meat-Eating Heart and Stomach
One year ago, my b-b-q pork and Rocky Road ice cream loving husband had a come-to-God moment and became a vegan. He did it for health reasons and he did it for the planet. Well, I don’t know what it’s done for the planet, but it’s rocked my meat-eating world. Now, happily, there’s hope my vegan spouse will become a carnivore again. Read more
Not Up for the Mile-High Club? Still …
Up for Some Airtime Fun? How About Sky-High Dining?
You know about the “Mile-High Club,” that salty euphemism for people who’ve had sex in flight, right? Well, if you’re not quite that adventurous, but still are seeking a unique time aloft, here’s a PG-rated idea: Dinner in the Sky. Read more
Falling into Fall
Random Notes from My Inbox
It’s Fall, time to clear out my inbox of summer ideas that didn’t make it to full-fledged stories but seem too good to simply abandon. So, here are those ideas, still half-baked but just like half-baked cookies, taste yummy in their own right. Please, sit back and enjoy them. Read more
Get Up and Go
Flights to Nowhere
Six months into this stuck-at-home era, who isn’t feeling more than a little antsy? Well, if like me, you’ve got that urge to get up and go, take heart! I may have found the perfect pandemic travel solution. Two, in fact.
Then, again … Maybe I haven’t. Read more
The Road to Hell and Vacations
The Plans of Mice and Men
They say the road to Hell — and sometimes vacations — is paved with good intentions. Unfortunately, that’s the story of our recent getaway.
Our vacation was supposed to be a respite from pandemic, politics, and wildfires. It was supposed to be fun. Relaxing. But it turned out to be a vacation hellscape. Read more
It’s Almost THAT Time of the Month
Handsome Hubby Beware
It’s almost that time of the month. No, not THAT time of the month. That’s long past. The time of the month I’m referring to the day when big, boring household chores come due. Why on the first? Read more
Nailed It! The Art of Home Manicures
In My Dreams
After almost six months of sheltering-at-home, I thought I had nailed it. Yes, I thought I finally had mastered the art of applying nail polish to my own fingernails.
At first, it was a challenge. You see, I was a mani-novice. Read more
Call Me Ms. Inspector Gadget
I’ve Got the Nowhere to Go Binge-Buying Gadget Blues
Remember the long-running kids’ cartoon show featuring the dim-witted, multi-tooled-crime-fighting police Inspector Gadget, voiced by TV’s popular Don Adams, aka Get Smart character Maxwell Smart? Well, nowadays, you might as well call me, Ms. Inspector Gadget.
Why? Read more
Dreaming of Red Lipstick
I'm Seeing Red - in a Good Way
I know it’s silly, but lately, I’ve been dreaming of red lipstick. And so, this week — while wearing my mask and observing proper social distancing — I raced to the drug store and bought myself a tube of ruby-red. I rushed home, applied it, and instantly felt better.
What is it about red lipstick that’s so oh la la? Read more
Addicted to (Fill in the Blank)
What's Your Cannot Control Compulsion?
Robert Palmer sang of being “Addicted to Love.” Weird Al Yankovic parodied with “Addicted to Spuds.” Me? I’m addicted to books. More accurately, I’m addicted to book-buying.
Left unrestrained, Read more
Our 7 Day No-Cooking Plan
A Sheltering-in-Place Escape from the Kitchen
It seemed like a fun idea at the time. If you can’t go on vacation, let the vacation come to you — seven days of no-cooking bliss, just ordering-in dinner! Think of it: a week freed from menu planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and kitchen clean-up. Short of a cure for COVID-19, it’s my idea of earthly delight.
AND as an added bonus: a week of order-in meals means a week of yummy ready-made lunches since take-out food is always way too much to eat at one sitting. So, happy plan indeed!
What could go wrong? Read more
DoorDash and Dashed Hopes
Dinner was Not Served!
If you read my work, you know that Handsome Hubby is the kindest, sweetest, most patient man — no, make that — the kindest, sweetest, most patient person on the planet. He practically qualifies for sainthood. And this coming from a Jewish girl is high praise indeed.
So, keep that in mind when I tell the following story of my almost-a-saint spouse and his terrible, rotten, no good day. Read more
Drug Warning Labels Need Amending
Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery OR Bake Cakes
Drug warning labels need amending ASAP. Henceforth, labels need note: do not operate heavy machinery OR bake cakes while under the influence of certain medications.
Bakers, take heed. Read more
Picking Apart Lady Pockets
Holey Sexism!
Let’s talk pockets. More specifically, the lack of proper lady pockets. It’s a problem every female from seven to seventy-seven knows too well. Read more
Walk This Way!
Avoid Pedestrian Rage
I’m not usually a hard rock fan. Nonetheless, I’m inspired by hard rockin’ Aerosmith’s hit song “Walk This Way,” because I too want everybody to walk a very specific way. And if they do, I’m 100% confident it will solve today’s pandemic pedestrian equivalent of road rage.
The source of this rage? Read more
Five Tips for Stylish Mask Wearing
A Middle-Aged Mask Maven Speaks
Wearing a mask is essential. Wearing a mask is the right thing to do. But wearing a mask is driving me meshuga. That’s Yiddish for crazy. But now help is at hand. Here are my Five Tips for Fun, Comfortable, and Stylish Mask Wearing. Read more
Lists Make Life Easier, Right?
A List-Maker's Lament
Some people pray before going to bed. Me? I’m an unrepentant list maker. Each night I type up and email myself a to-do list of tasks I need and want to accomplish the next day. And short of dire “breaking news” headlines, it’s the first email I read each morning. Lists used to make my life easier and keep me focused. But now I’m not so sure. Now they’re the source of anxiety. Please heed this list writer’s lament! Read more
Out, Out Gray Hair!
Part 2: Two Kinds of Women
It’s a subject of fierce debate among women (and men) of a certain age. To dye or not to dye gray hair. Me? I’m, of course, a die-hard dyer! Read more
Two Kinds of Women
Says Who? Let's Change the Rules
Society has always deemed there were two kinds of women — the virgin and the whore. Harsh, simplistic distinctions — happily, not worthy of our times and values. As for me, I’ve had my own standards for evaluating people — women in particular. Follow along and see if you think my “two kinds of women” standards are an improvement on those former, outmoded labels. Read more
Something to Celebrate
44 Days and in Need of Joy
Searching for something to celebrate after 44 days of sheltering-in-place, I turned to a website that lists “Daily Bizarre and Unique Calendar Holidays.” And with the month of April not quite over, I was in luck. Join me — from a socially safe distance — for an e-journey through the month’s extravaganza of unusual holidays. Read more
Game of Carts
America's New Fun Fad
My father, Big Julie by name, was an electrician by profession, but a gambler and a poet in his heart of hearts. Big Julie’s game of choice? Dice. Now, I too, amid the coronavirus pandemic, am a gambler. My game, not by choice, is Game of Carts. Yes, I play the Amazon delivery system, hitting my computer’s “refresh” button 10, 11, 12 times a day, hoping to hit a jackpot and score a delivery time that day … any day! Read more
Social Distancing for Spouses
I'll Go North. You Go South
Shelter at home is the order of the day. Social distancing is the medically recommended norm when outside. Now, for marital harmony, I believe we urgently need a directive advocating social distancing for spouses INSIDE the home. Read more
Donors Rejoice. Fun in Fundraising is Here
Giving AND Getting Are Great!
Charities struggle to attract donors in these difficult times. Donors also struggle, deciding among so many worthy causes. It’s a challenge for both. But I have a solution. Put the FUN in fundraising!
It’s simple and allows both sides of the equation to come out winners. The way? Read more
Danger Isn’t New for Baby Boomers
Not Our First Time Living Dangerously
Today we live in a world of a new danger. But danger isn’t new for us Baby Boomers. We were lucky our parents didn’t do us in right from the start!
Second-hand smoke. White sugar by the fistful. Red meat by the mouthful. Read more
Finding Fun in the News
Not Everything is Fit to Print
It’s hard finding fun and funny in the news these days. But it’s there. From ill-timed stories about dream vacations to ads for swimsuits, it’s there. It does prove, however, that not all the news (and ads) are truly fit to print in these days of disease and worry.
With that in mind, here are a few stories, headlines and ad promotions that caught my eye recently. Some raise questions. Some I offer as observations from one middle-aged muddler to another. Read more
Happy, Healthy Galentine’s Day
Late for the Party. But Who Cares?
I know I’m late for the party, but I’d like to wish a sincere Happy Galentine’s Day to all my girlfriends. Let’s make that, a Happy, Healthy Galentine’s Day.
Yes, I’m a little late. But in the midst of these scary, challenging days, I’m hitting the pause button on full-fledged silliness. Instead, I want to express appreciation to all my friends — and dear Muddling through Middle Age readers, too.
Do you know about Galentine’s Day? Read more
Party Hearty? Hardly!
Life of the Party? Not Me. No More.
Remember the good old days when we all could party hearty? Now, middle-aged Handsome Hubby and I hardly ever party!
It’s not that we’re anti-social. It’s just that Read more
A parting of the ways
I'm the one getting scalped!
Handsome Hubby and I are coming to a parting of the ways. Sad, but true. After 33 years (and three years of dating), HH wanted a change and a change he’s made. I pleaded and I begged but to no avail. There’s no turning back. Read more
Eating: My Latest Mid-Life Obsession
Emo Eating can be Good
I can’t stop eating and I can’t stop writing about it either! It’s my latest mid-life obsession. It could be worse. I could be obsessing about plastic surgery and my saggy, baggy face and body. Oh, that was so last year!
I could blame my eating mania on Read more
Divided Loyalties
East Coast. West Coast. Where Do I Belong?
I’m suffering a bad case of divided loyalties. Tony Bennett sang of leaving his heart in San Francisco, but me? My heart is divided. Half is in the SF Bay; the other half is in NYC. It’s complicated and it’s confusing. Read more
Five Things NOT in my DNA
DNA Testing is the Rage. I just Rage
DNA testing is the rage. People are discovering long lost relatives, famous ancestors, and occasionally dread diseases. As for me? Even without spit or cheek swab testing, here’s a list of five things I know conclusively are NOT in my DNA. Read more
A Procrastinator’s Dream – Procrastibaking!
Yes, You Can Have Your Cake and Not Get Your Work Done
I procrastinate. You procrastinate. We all procrastinate. It’s universal. But did you know there’s a fun, new way to delay doing what you need to do? It’s called procrastibaking! It’s a procrastinator’s (and a pastry eater’s) dream come true.
And while I’ve only just learned about procrastibaking, apparently, it’s a widespread practice. Read more
Spotify Has Gone to the Dogs
Yes, Music for the Mutts
Big news on the music and pet scene — two “scenes” that rarely play well together. Spotify, the music-streaming service, has gone to the dogs and has just launched playlists for home-alone pups. A podcast too! Read more
Belly AND Butter Up to the Bar
The Best of Both Worlds
I’m not much of a drinker. In fact, I’m a complete lightweight. One drink and I’m gone. Still, I have always considered bars like New York’s 21 Club the height of elegance and sophistication. Now, happily, in my middle-age, I’ve found a bar scene that fits me to a “T” — a butter bar! Read more
Nicknames. Pet Names. Code Names.
Name Proliferation. No More
Nicknames. Pet Names. Code Names. Hashtags. Name proliferation is spreading faster than germs. It’s too much. People should be given one name and stick with it.
Read more
War of the Fake Meat-Eaters
Handsome Hubby vs. Me
You’ve heard of the War of the Roses? The 100 Years War? WWI and WWII, of course. Well, welcome to my house and the War of the Fake Meat-Eaters vs. well, vs. Me.
It’s not a global battle, of course, but it is epic. Read more
New Year’s Resolutions 2020
I'm Here for You, Baby!
Sigh! It’s that time of year. Time for New Year’s Resolutions. Time also for that pesky, but inevitable New Year’s Resolutions’ Guilt. You know, the guilt that comes when you fail to achieve all those bright shiny resolutions.
Well, be of good cheer. I am here to help! Read more
Season’s Greetings
Joy and Good Wishes
Season’s Greetings.
‘Tis the season to goof off!
So, please allow me to hit the pause button on writing … except to wish all my fellow middle-age muddlers a Happy, Healthy, and Safe Holiday Season. May your holidays be filled with wonder and, of course, laughter. Muddle on with joy!
Fondly,
Karen
Dreidels and Reindeer
Let Me Love 'Em Both
Dreidels and Reindeer. Jews and Christmas.
Yes, like many American Jewish families, we have a Christmas tree. In fact, we’ve had one since 1929.
That’s the year my immigrant grandmother traveled home to visit her family in Hungary. While Grandma was away, Read more
Hide and Seek. I’m a Hider
My Not-So-Secret Shame
Some people are hoarders. I’m a hider.
I come by it dishonestly, but the dishonesty wasn’t mine. Honestly!
Let me explain. Read more
I’m Karen, but Not That “Karen”
Step Away from the Mean Meme
Yes, my name is Karen. I’ve always liked the name. Never wanted to be a Karla or a Kathy, but lately, things have gotten a bit complicated and I’m wondering if a name change is in order.
Let me explain. Read more
Happy Thanksgiving: From A to Z
Best Wishes from our Home to Yours
Here’s a Happy Thanksgiving Day alphabet primer to get you and the family started on holiday fun. Turkey, togetherness, travel, talking, and tag football. Enjoy it and your day with family and friends! Don’t eat too much. Make sure at day’s end, only the turkey is stuffed!
Happy Thanksgiving: A
To the apple lovers (computer and fruit) in your house.
Happy Thanksgiving: B
To bakers who labor so hard on this special day and bankers who get the day off! Read more
Giving My Regards to Broadway
Greetings from a Broadway Baby
Some go fishing. Some go shopping. I go show-hopping along the Great White Way aka Broadway.
Yes, I’m spending the week in NYC, seeing shows till my eyes bulge out!
But, alas, only six shows this trip. Deferring to Handsome Hubby’s wishes, Read more
Ashes into Diamonds
They're Not Kidding. Diamonds Really are Forever
Diamonds are forever. So goes the old marketing slogan. But now, thanks to high tech advances, there’s a whole new spin on the meaning of “forever,” because companies can turn your deceased loved one’s cremated ashes into sparkling memorial diamonds.
All it takes is eight ounces of ashes – or if you prefer, 10 ounces of cremated bones, or a mere 0.4 ounces of hair.
Some call it science. But to me, it more voodoo than I love you. Read more
Wildfires, Earthquakes, Power Outages
Just Another Day in CA
Forget about a Zombie apocalypse. I live in California where we worry weekly about wildfires, earthquakes, and “scheduled” power outages.
Back East, we worried about terrorist attacks, but since moving to the San Francisco Bay, I’ve learned the true meaning of terror. Here dinner conversations are just as likely to focus on “What’s in your ‘to-go’ bag and earthquake kit?” as on politics, the environment, and favorite TV show. Read more
The Ladies Who Schlep
The Subject is (Still) Handbags
I hate to sound sexist, but as soon as baby boys can grasp objects, they’re given baseballs and footballs. Girls, on the other hand, are often given purses to carry. And all those little girls turn into, yes, the ladies who schlep. They may schlep handbags, tote bags, briefcases or backpacks, but schlep they do. And they’re not just hauling around lipstick and lunch, but also, memories and money, smartphones, and status symbols.
“Of course, a bag is important. It’s my home away from home.”
Sornam S.
In case you missed it, Read more
The Subject is Handbags
Size ... and Bags ... Matter
It started with an email and two simple questions. I thought I’d get a few short replies. Instead, all week long, my inbox was flooded with replies. Clearly, I had touched a nerve. Read more
Will Techno Wonders Never Cease? Can They Still Increase?
Gadgets I Could Use
We live in an age of techno wonders – drones, talking devices that tell us the time in Kuala Lumpur and how long to boil an egg. We can push a button on our smart phones to adjust the thermostat and raise the window shades. But helpless, hapless, middle-aged me still needs help.
Here’s a list of techno-assists I desire:
1. A loud (really loud) buzzer that Read more
21 Signs You’re Getting Older
I mostly celebrate my age — 65 —but I admit some aspects of aging aren’t joyful. Here’s my list of 21 signs you’re getting older. Check it out. See what you’d add!
You know you’re getting older when …
…. You go to a rock concert and your friends pass around earplugs instead of drugs.
You know you’re getting older when … Read more
Single-Use Devices. Salvation or Sin?
Or How Rambo Came to Rule My Roost
For most people, culinary single-use devices like strawberry hullers and cherry pitters are handy time-savers. But for cooking-klutz me, they are mostly cabinet space-stealing clutter, rarely, if ever, used.
I’ve got ceramic pie weights to hold crust down and fancy cake pans in graduated sizes. The former was bought in a moment of wild baking optimism. Yet, I’ve never even opened the package they came in. The latter, I used once to disastrous results.
But in my household, the undisputed master of wasted single-use devices is
– drum roll, please – Read more
Butt Cheeks and Botox
Is Twerkers' Compensation Far Behind?
No ifs, ands or butt cheeks about it. Ladies, we have a new beauty regime to get on top of. Well, technically speaking, one we’ve got to get to the bottom of. Yes, gal pals, our rear ends are the latest beauty frontier!
What’s good for the face – cleansers, toners, serums, oils, exfoliating scrubs, creams, and masks – is now being specially tailored and marketed for the derriere.
Don’t believe me? Well, no less an authority than the august New York Times has proclaimed, “Butt skincare is definitely a thing now.”
“But what kind of a “thing?” you well might ask. “And why?” Read more
Toastmasters or Just Plain Toast?
Me? I was Burnt to a Crisp
First board meeting … of the new season … with the brand new artistic director. Everybody was on their best behavior, wanting to make a good impression. Read more
Whale-Watching Whoops
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
It seemed like such a good idea. “Let’s sign up for a whale-watching boating adventure,” I said gamely to Handsome Hubby, knowing he would be thrilled.
Amazingly San Francisco’s Oceanic Society had openings for Labor Day – just four days later. Who could believe our good fortune? And faster than you can say “Moby Dick,” I made our reservation.
“Ahoy, matey!” I cheered. Read more
End of Summer End Notes
Taking a Stand on Standing Desks and Other Assorted Topics!
Ah, Labor Day – the unofficial end of summer. The kids are back in school and the white shoes are pushed to the back of the closet. For me, it’s time to clean out my in-box of story ideas that didn’t quite come to fruition, but still, seem tantalizing and amusing – too good to simply discard. Take a look and see if you agree. Read more
Mid-Week Grouchies, Part 2
Summertime and the Living is Whiny!
Dirty grocery carts. People who say “Let’s do lunch,” but don’t. Dropped phone calls. When I wrote a list of pet peeves a couple of months ago, I thought I had it out of my system. I was wrong. Here’s a brand new list of middle-aged, mid-week grouchies! Join me and get your grump on! Read more
Talking Turkey about Quirky Berkeley
My New Home Sweet Home
We moved to Berkeley, CA six years ago and I’m still getting used to it. There is much to love, but also much that is downright bezerkly. It must be a sign of age that world-traveler me is taking so long to get accustomed to this city, but that said in the interest of your enlightenment and amusement, I’m ready to talk turkey about quirky Berkeley! Here goes. Read more
Social Security Madness
Into the Jaws of the Bureaucratic Beast!
Last week I wrote about turning 65 and signing up for Social Security. Now I was want to tell you what happened next. It isn’t pretty. I quickly descended from “social insecurity” into an advanced state of Social Security Madness.
When I signed up for Social Security benefits this Spring, I also selected Medicare Part B. I didn’t need health insurance; Handsome Hubby and I already have good, inexpensive lifetime coverage. But I thought Medicare is inexpensive and a little extra insurance couldn’t hurt. I was wrong. It’s hurting plenty. Read more
Social Insecurity
65-Years-Old. Say It Ain't So!
Three months past my 65th birthday and the start of Social Security, and I’m midriff-deep in social insecurity. It’s my own fault.
First, I planned the whole 65th birthday “celebration” all wrong. Instead of accepting Handsome Hubby’s offer of a birthday party, Read more
My Mission Impossible? Control
Don't Gen. Al Haig and I wish
Each morning I swear I won’t. Yet every morning, I begin a new round of my personal Mission Impossible. My impossible mission? Get control of my house AND my life.
Each morning I swear I won’t. Yet, first thing each day I make the bed and fluff up the “just for show” pillows. I maniacally wipe down the counters, speed-spritz the fridge to eliminate fingerprints and Windex with a fury the glass dining room table.
Each mid-morning, I swear Read more
My Mother and Mink
Her Pelts. My Punishment.
My mother was pro-mink. She believed fur symbolized luxury, style, wealth and to the manor born. Not me. I was decidedly anti-fur. I grew up in a cloth coat, pea- jacket, egalitarian world.
My mother was a native New Yorker, so fur was practical too, good for keeping the cold out. I, on the other hand, grew up in sunny Las Vegas. So I avoided the cold and the culture of fur for a long time.
The Fur Flies
But in my late 20s, I was D.C.-bound for an exciting new job. I was also in possession of a small insurance settlement from a leg injury. For my mother, the stars were aligned. She saw fur in my future and pounced. Read more
50 Shades of Green
Leather Fetish? Nope. Lettuce Fetish!
Remember when salad was simple? Throw together some iceberg lettuce and a few tomatoes and you were done. Now when you shop the produce aisle, you wade through 50 shades of green. Dine out and you wonder if you’re reading a foreign-language menu, so unknown are the leafy options.
These days you need a Ph.D. to make and eat salad! To help sort through the confusion, join me for a walk on the wild produce side. Ready, set, lettuce go! Read more
I am an Amazon Warrior
Wonder Woman has Nothing on Me
I am an Amazon warrior. Not like Wonder Woman, all tricked out in hot pants, a bustier, and bullet-repelling bracelets, but still … Read more
Gone Fishing? Gone Ranching? Gone to Sea Ranch
Best Mini-Vacay Ever
It was a miracle!. Work-a-holic Handsome Hubby hit the pause button and we “got gone” to Sea Ranch, Ca for a four-day vacation. Were we in for a treat! Read more
My Not-So-Merry Market-Go-Round
Modern-Day Mercantile Madness
Growing up, life was simple. My mother shopped at one supermarket, two at the most. Now I’m on a non-stop, not-so-merry market-go-round, shopping at six different stores. It’s modern-day mercantile madness.
If it’s Tuesday, I go to Whole Foods for oh, so pricy organic produce and meat. Wednesdays, I’m at Safeway. That’s where I get the family prescriptions and non-organic, unhealthful food, like Lay’s potato chips and Diet Coke. By Friday, it’s anybody’s guess. It’s a regular basket free-for-all! Read more
Bumping Shoulders with Celebrities
The Highs and Lows of a Social-lite
I grew up in star-studded Las Vegas. My father was a high-roller gambler and we spent a lot of time in casino showrooms. As an adult, I was a news reporter, covering organized crime and the resort-entertainment industry, bumping shoulders with countless celebrities. Later, I worked at a high level of the executive branch of the US government, meeting presidents and a few kings.
You’d think I would have acquired a degree of sophistication along the way. But think again. Embarrassingly, I’m still a bumbling star-gazing social-lite! Read more
Love and Listening
Sorry. You Were Talking. I Wasn't Listening
Longtime married couples think they’ve heard it all. But after decades, love and listening may go their separate ways. In which case, even the happiest of marrieds may discover they’ve missed something important. I know. It just happened to Handsome Hubby and me. Crisis loomed! Read more
Target’s Muddled Remodel
Off-Target at My Favorite Store
Remember Joni Mitchell’s song “Big Yellow Taxi,” where she lamented about how “they” paved Paradise and put up a parking lot? Well, I know how she feels. “They” just completed a muddled remodel at my favorite Target store. Now I feel like Joni. Paradise – and I – are lost.
Where once greeting cards were displayed, Read more
Favorite Family Recipes
Flavors and Memories
Favorite family recipes – more precious than silver, packed with more memories than scrapbooks and the hallway filled with yellowed photos of our ancestors. Every family has got a favored meal. Here’s the story of our’s. Read more
Some are Natural Born Athletes
Me? Not So Much
When they passed around the athletic genes, I must have been out to lunch … or shopping … or perhaps napping. Yes, some are natural born athletes. Me? Not so much.
One of my brothers was a great swimmer. Another a beautiful dancer. Me? I’m a klutz. My sport of choice? Jacks. Park my butt on the ground and I could beat most anybody at the basic game or its variations – double bounces, pigs in the pen, over the fence. Yep. I was a jack’s genius.
But, Read more
Pharmacists, Not Diamonds, are My BFFs
Friends in Pharmaceutical Places
Marilyn Monroe famously and breathlessly proclaimed that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Well, that may be so, but for middle-aged gals like me, pharmacists are the preferred BFFs.
And man, I don’t mean to brag but I’ve got multiple friends in pharmaceutical places!
And lately, I’ve needed them. Read more
Play the Field or Play for Keeps?
Hoops or Hubby?
With the National Basketball Association season winding down and free agent trading time gearing up, I’m considering my options. Should I play the field or play for keeps? Stick with Handsome Hubby or …? Read more
First a Concussion. Then a Cook
Ina Garten and Grandma Ida Helped Too
First I got a concussion. Then I learned to cook. It’s true, but like most truths, there’s more to the story. It actually took a concussion, a TV show, and echoes from the past to get me to care about cooking. Read more
Sartorial Sins of the Flesh
Leggings, Yoga Pants, and Holey Jeans
I may sound old-fashioned, but I think some of today’s lapses in sartorial style are downright sins. The way we dress and adorn ourselves would surely make my mother and grandmother shudder and shriek!
In Grandma’s day, Read more
Middle-Aged, Mid-Week Grouchies
7 Terms and Trends that Torment
Nothing’s really wrong, but I’ve got a bad case of the middle-aged, mid-week grouchies. And I need to vent. Read on. You might just relate. You might get a chuckle. At the very least, as my delightful 92-year-old second cousin Marvin used to say, “It couldn’t hurt.” Read more
Endangered! Red Meat Carnivores
Beef Brisket Bye-bye
I come from a long line of now-endangered red meat carnivores. My grandmother made a mean Cornish game hen, but it was her Hungarian goulash and stuffed cabbage (stuffed with ground beef) I most fondly remember.
My mother’s signature recipes were chili con carne, roast beef, steak smothered in buttery onions and mushrooms, beef and peppers, and brisket. Oh, yes, the brisket. Read more
Millennials Don’t Give a Sheet
And They Don't Make Their Beds Either!
I couldn’t sleep last night. As I tossed and turned, I read an article that got me in a dither: Millennials don’t give a sheet! That’s right – they are rejecting top sheets. So, of course, I got up on the wrong side of the bed today, and as I made the bed, I decided I wanted to vent about, of all things, all things bedding!
A lot has changed in the world of bedding since I was a little girl. First, there’s this sheet crisis! Read more
10 Tech Commandments for Oldsters
Do Unto Others As Thou Would Internet Unto You
The 10 Commandments serve us well, but in these Modern Times, I modestly propose an electronic update – 10 tech commandments – to the stone tablets Moses first delivered!
Yes, in the “good” old days, the world was simpler, slower-paced, easier to understand or at least, so we recall.
In today’s fast-moving tech world, we middle-aged muddlers need new guidelines to navigate the world AND the worldwide web. And I think our kids could use a few helpful hints as well. In fact, you might want to show them Tech Commandment Number 5. Better yet – needlepoint it on a pillow for their bedroom. Read more
I Hit It Big on Antiques Roadshow
At Least in My Dreams
Inspired by the glory of Antiques Roadshow, we’ve all got one. That one precious item we believe is valuable beyond our wildest dreams. The one that if we chose to sell it would put us, our kids, and our future grandkids on Easy Street FOREVER.
It could be that ugly oil painting your grandmother bought years ago at a yard sale that now smolders in the attic; or that old coin your father gave you for your ninth birthday, admonishing you to “hold on to this.”
Or it could be, as in my case, Read more
A New Wrinkle in Time
Chest Wrinkles. Who Knew?
Sometimes I worry I will run out of things to write about. Then I discover articles like “Cleavage Reboot: How to Smooth Out Chest Wrinkles,” and I realize I will never run out of “dire” aging maladies to worry – and write – about!
Yes, chest wrinkles, a problem right up there with global warming, the plight of the homeless, and discrimination.
It only took God 99 words (at least in one version I looked at) to write The Ten Commandments, the foundation of faith and civility for millions around the world. But chest wrinkles? Read more
Happy 100th (Blog) to Muddling Me
It's My Party and I'll Smile if I Want to!
A moment of celebration! Muddling through Middle Age just hit the century mark! This is my 100th blog, my 100th “light lament” for women (and men) of a certain age.
And since it’s my party (or at least my blog), I’d like to pause, not cry as Leslie Gore did in her hit 1963 song “It’s My Party,” for a moment of reflection. Read more
The Worst Part of Growing Old? Reading Glasses
Oh, My Aching Middle-Aged Eyes
Some people cannot find their phone. Others their keys. Me? It’s my reading glasses. I misplace them constantly and need them for everything. Oh, my middle-aged eyes. It’s just not fair. Yes, the worst part of growing old is reading glasses.
By the age of 12, I was blind as a bat. Then I got Lasik surgery and had perfect vision … for a time. Now, once again, I’m eye glass-dependent. I go nowhere without clutching my readers as tightly as those needing a cane to get by. Read more
Madly in Love or Just Mad?
Danger Ahead: Valentine's Quiz
Lovers beware. I took a Valentine’s Day quiz to learn if my husband is “still utterly and totally in love.” The results? Let’s just say Handsome Hubby and I didn’t “ace” the test. In fact, it should have come with a warning: Danger Ahead! Read more
If I Ruled the World
Queen Me for a Day
Ah, if I ruled the world and could be Queen … just like on that popular TV show of decades ago, Queen for a Day. I’d right some wrongs, enforce some rules, and, maybe settle a petty score or two! I mean what’s power if you can’t abuse it just a teensy bit, all the while wearing a tiara and robe, parked on a royal throne? Read more
Marie Kondo Sparks No Joy in Me
Decluttering is Easy. Shopping is Hard.
Everybody is obsessed with Marie Kondo and downsizing their possessions, especially clothes. Not me. I want more clothes, not less. Sweaters. Blouses. Dresses. Cute shoes. But there’s a problem – I’m shopping adverse. I hate going to a Mall and I’m not finding much success shopping online.
I never liked shopping. Blame it on my mother. Of course. Read more
Down the Graying Yellow Brick Road
Bring Your 8-Track Tapes and Geritol
Handsome Hubby and I took a trip down the (graying) yellow brick road this past weekend and oh, what a trip it was! More precisely, we went to see Elton John perform, part of his multi-city, multi-year “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” concert tour.
It was Handsome Hubby’s idea. He is a big Elton fan. I was too back in the day, but traveling down memory lane, spending lots of money to see aging rockers perform goldie oldies wasn’t my idea of a good time.
But HH wanted to go. So, off we went, memories (and pricy tickets) in hand, to the concert at Oracle Arena, home of the Golden State Warriors, in Oakland, Ca.
We jump-hobbled onto the BART (subway), where we were greeted by a sea of gray-haired seniors all bound for rock and roll glory! You would have thought there was an AARP Convention in town! Read more
Words Fail Me
Middle-Aged and Needing New Words
It’s true as we get older, our memory and communication skills slip a bit. Why did I walk into this room? What did I have for lunch today? What did you just say? And sometimes, frustratingly, we have to search for a word that’s at the tip of our tongue.
Yet, for all that, I believe there’s a bigger problem at play. The English language lacks the vocabulary to address the sensations, situations, and emotions – good and bad, we middle-agers and seniors experience.
For instance, what do you call the transformation of a once patient spouse into a grouchy, short-tempered guy? (A friend wants to know.) Read more
Resolve to be Irresolute!
Avoid New Year's Guilt
Just one week into the New Year and I was already backsliding into bad habits faster than a first-time skier hitting the slopes.
Start that diet? Hard to do with all the holiday candy still casting its chocolaty come-hither glance at me.
Exercise? How, when I could hardly move from all that candy-gorging I’m doing 24/7?
Be a better person? Who was I kidding? That was never going to happen, sugar-rush or no sugar-rush.
So, just days into the New Year, I decided to drop the pretense. Skip the guilt. Avoid making – and breaking – those resolutions of yesteryears to eat less, exercise more, and be a better person. I decided to just hunker down and continue living in my usual slovenly, unhealthy, impatient way.
But then, I had an idea. Read more
Coffee Mug Addiction
Brother, can you spare a cup? 10? 20?
Coffee mug addiction. It is America’s not-so-hidden disease. It’s costly and dangerous AND no household is immune. Where once there was mere cabinet clutter, now there is a coffee cup contagion.
Be honest. Do you recognize a loved one in the following words and thoughts? Do you recognize yourself?
“Must stop.” Read more
Happy New Year
Muddle on with Laughter!
Happy New Year to all my dear Middle-aged Muddlers,
It’s December 26, the start of that short pause in the festivities before New Year’s Eve, time to catch our breath and reflect on the year that’s ending and the new one that’s just days away.
For me, it’s a time to give thanks for family and friends. And you, my family of readers and subscribers, I give special thanks.
Here’s to a Happy, Healthy 2019 to you and all those you hold dear!
🎊
Now onward to more muddled laughter in the New Year!
I’ve Been Naughty. Now I’m Getting Spanx-ed
Calories, then Compression and Depression
‘Tis the season to over-indulge, true. But, alas, ’tis also the season to sequin, shimmy, and shake – all of which challenge chubby, out-of-shape, middle-aged me.
And while I can still wedge myself into my cute holiday clothes, do I look cute? Hardly. I more resemble that lump of coal Santa leaves children who have been naughty, not nice, than I do some hot party babe.
So, sadly I’m giving myself a Spanx-ing. Read more
Ready to Holiday Party Hearty? Hardly!
A List of 7 Middle-aged Excuses Not to Party
‘Tis the season to party hearty. But I must admit, now that I’m middle-aged, I not much of a party kind of gal. I’m more of a hot chocolate, asleep by 10:15 social clod.
So, what’s a sluggish middle-aged muddler supposed to do, now that the holiday party season, like a horde of ravenous locusts, has arrived? Hibernate in a cave? Take a vow of silence and retreat to a Zen-like monastery until January 2? Drag my sorry, sweat-suited derriere out the door and socialize till my cheeks ache and eyelids droop?
This year, I’m planning ahead. I’ve prepared a List of Seven Perfectly Plausible Middle-aged Excuses to Get Out of Holiday Festivities. Read more
I Say Phone. You Just Phub
Phone Plus Snub Equals Phub. SOB!
Do you know someone who spends too much time on their cell phone? Silly question. Of course, you do. Do you spend too much time on your cell phone? Of course, you do. Confession: I do too.
According to one study, people typically touch their phones 47 times per day! Now that’s scary! And the number jumps to 82 times per day if you’re between 18 and 24 years old. Scarier still. Read more
When in Doubt, Blame Science
The Latest Addition to the Pantheon of Excuses
Life is hard. When we do something wrong, we all fall back on excuses and blame others.
“The dog ate my homework.”
“My mother won’t let me go to the party.”
“The Devil made me do it!”
But now, move over dog, Mom, and Devil. We have a new scapegoat to blame and shame, and it goes by the name of Science. Read more
Vietnam and Cambodia: Trip Impressions
Two Middle Age Muddlers on a SE Asian Adventure
My dear Middle-age Muddlers,
Handsome Hubby and I are back from our 16 days in Vietnam and Cambodia. The laundry is whirling away in the washer and dryer. So, I thought I’d sit down and respond to the request from a number of readers asking for a recap of our travels. Read more
Nixon and Me: United in Jowls
There's a Surgery for That!
Richard Nixon and I sadly have something in common. Jowls. I’ve tried to ignore the problem, but jowls and jawlines are in the news. So, what can I do?
Yes, regrettably, I – the anti-plastic surgery woman – am once again day-dreaming about plastic surgery. Read more
A Hurricane-Hound Brings Sunshine
by guest contributor Olga
“In Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire …
Hurricanes hardly happen.”
My Fair Lady, Lerner and Loewe
Hurricanes also happen in Florida, and as a result of one, this hurricane-hound now calls California home.
It was all so scary at first – given up to a Florida shelter and then scooped up by a huge, noisy, metal bird and taken to a different shelter in a strange new city. Read more
Trick-or-Woof!
Happy Bark-o-ween!
Trick-or-woof! So barks Olga, our four-year-old Labrador, and ruler of our roost.
OK. Scary she’s not. Silly she is.
So, Olga is opting for elegance, not fierce, furry or fiery this Halloween.
But trick-or-treaters beware! Olga’s got an ear-splitting warning/welcome bark and a face-drenching lick!
And while Handsome Hubby and I are away vacationing, guess who’s next week’s Muddling through Middle Age’s special guest columnist?
Hint, hint. She’s a middle-aged muddler’s best friend! Woof!
Diet Daze, Praise and Prays
Cabbage Soup by the Bowlful
I’ve got religion! And like all religious zealots, I speak of nothing else. My new-found religion is not a traditional religion, nor is it New Age hippy, dippy. My new religion is my new diet. More specifically, it is my new-found diet success! Read more
Therapy for the Masses
Good for Apartment Dwellers and Homeowners Too!
I’m trying a new form of therapy. No, not cognitive behavior therapy. Not somatic therapy, nor psychoanalytic therapy. Not even retail therapy. Instead, I’m fixating on Apartment Therapy.
Are you familiar with Apartment Therapy? AT, as I like to call it, is a lifestyle blog and publishing company focused on home design and decor. And it’s not any old blog. According to Forbes Magazine, AT is “one of the most influential interior design sites on the Web.”
You might wonder why I, a homeowner with a five-bedroom house, reads AT. Read more
Restless at the La Jolla RLS Confab
Travels with Handsome Hubby
You’ve got to hand it to Handsome Hubby: He is a master at making a girl “an offer she cannot refuse.”
“Come with me to La Jolla for the weekend,” he said with that sweet, husky voice of his.
“Just for fun?” I asked suspiciously, knowingly.
“Well, sort of,” he said, starting the famous HH hem-and-haw dance. Read more
Rebranding: Dunkin’ Donuts … and Me?
The Name Game
Rebranding is the rage. Dunkin’ Donuts and Weight Watchers are just the latest jumping on the name change bandwagon. And it’s got me thinking. Maybe middle-aged me could use a change too.
After all, I don’t want to be one of those people who gets stuck in a rut. Shaking things up might be just the thing I need. Instead of the same old Karen Galatz – writer, wife, and mom, perhaps I need a different persona.
But how and what should I change? Read more
Far-from-the-Runway Runaway Thoughts
An Unstylish Fashion Maven Speaks Her Mind!
Fall fashion season is here. The runways are overflowing with willowy models and haute couture commentary. So, who am I, admittedly un-chic, un-willowy, to offer my own runaway thoughts about fashion and style? Just a middle-aged muddling mom (MAMM) with a far-from-the-runway point-of-view! Read more
The Art of Conversation, Marriage Edition
Handsome Hubby and I are approaching our 32nd wedding anniversary, and I must say we’ve really got the art of conversation down to a science. The renowned Navajo code-talkers have nothing on us. With just a few words, HH and I can decipher (and deride) each other’s meaning perfectly.
Here are a few true-life conversations from our household that I bet you’ll recognize.
Conversation 1
I say: “What about those forms I needed your help with?” reminding HH about this or any long-ago request I’ve made.
HH says: “Hum, it rings a bell.”
HH is hearing: Blaring alarm bells.
HH is thinking: “Mayday. Mayday. Marital iceberg ahead.” Read more
In Praise of Pantyhose
A Princess and This Pauper Share Sheer Delights
When the leaves start falling, a woman’s thoughts turn to … pantyhose? Well, for some of us. It’s true.
I belong to a dying breed of never-go-bare-legged women. Rare among womankind today, I wear pantyhose. Not just with formal night attire, but during the day too. Even in the summer. Even in the East when summertime humidity is swoon-worthy!
Now there are women who wear opaque tights when the outside temperature dips and wintery winds howl, but that’s not the legwear I’m talking about. There are also women who wear fishnet and other fashion-fad leg gear, but that’s not the hose in question.
What I’m referring to is the sheer, easy-to-run-and-ruin flesh-colored kind that has adorned my pasty white limbs since I aged out of knee-high socks. Read more
From Kardashians to Musical Buffalo
Summer Endnotes from Muddling Me
Labor Day has passed, signaling the end of summer’s leisurely pursuits. It’s time to get organized for autumn. So, I’m clearing the deck – and my inbox – for a fresh season of writing. And from that inbox, here are a few tidbits that I didn’t develop into full-fledged stories, but still, are designed to amuse! From Kardashians to musical buffalo and the disappearance of our e-signatures for purchases … I hereby opine!
Number 1:
First a question: Would someone … please, please, please … explain America’s fascination with the Kardashians? Read more
T is for Torture and Treadmill
Step Lively or Die
I stepped out of the bathroom, all shiny and clean, a hint of make-up, my hair perfectly coiffed. I was all set for my big appointment of the day.
“You showered? You washed your hair?” commented my husband with a quizzical look. “Odd.”
“Well, it’s the first time,” I explained, somewhat annoyed I felt the need to explain, “I want to make a good impression.”
“Odd,” he repeated. “I never shower first.” Read more
Summertime and the Living is Exhausting
I'm Binged Out.
It’s summertime, and I’m exhausted. I cannot keep up the pace.
Summer used to be about relaxing and taking a break from usual routines.
Summer used to be about vacations and long, lazy days at the beach.
Summer used to be about suntans and sunburns. Over-chlorinated swimming pools and bring-tears-to your-eyes salty water ocean waves. About letting the mind wander and go free, watching the clouds and the waves.
The TV got a rest. There were too many reruns. Instead, there were summer book reads. Trashy novels for middle-aged moms (and dads). Required book lists for the kids.
But not this summer. Not for our family, and I bet, not for yours. Read more
Nine Questions for Lasting Love
Tinder for Talkers
A famous psychological study developed 36 questions to fast-track intimacy and connection. Ha! That’s easy. A glass of cheap merlot and low lighting can do that for most people. But lasting love? Well, that requires a whole different set of questions.
And to help with that, from the vantage point of a middle-aged many-years married, I’ve prepared a list of nine queries young lovers should consider before saying their “I do’s.” Read more
Caffeinated and Infatuated. The Barista of My Dreams
Hot and Steamy on Demand
For the record: I’m no coffee connoisseur. I drink lattes because they satisfy my two chief criteria for coffee – lots of milk and lots of room for sugar. But recently, I met the barista of my dreams. Now I’m caffeinated and infatuated.
The day I met my new love, I was in that early morning pre-coffee kind of stupor. Slow moving and slow thinking, I practically bumped into this stunning, towering cool creator of caffeine and other bubbling hot delights. I was instantly overwhelmed. Read more
Online Surfing Danger Ahead!
Beware of Bots!
There’s surfing danger ahead! Not in the water, but online. Take a quick look at an ad for an anti-aging skin cream, and that product will haunt you on the Internet until you die and decompose.
Blink your eye and consider a brief fling with glitter eyeliner, as I did earlier this summer, and you are forever branded as part of David Bowie’s glam squad!
Peruse a winter white wool turtleneck sweater in January, and come July, you’ll still get urgent notices to “Hurry, there’s only one still in stock!!”
Five years ago, amid a foot problem, I considered buying orthotic heel lifts. Thankfully, the foot problem resolved itself, but orthotic ads track me on the Worldwide Web as diligently as sharks stalk their prey. Read more
My Dolls Need Plastic Surgery!
Time Waits for No Man, Woman or Doll
There comes a time in every girl’s life when she puts away her dolls and moves on to grown-up pleasures. For most girls, that comes with puberty. For me, it took a few more years. OK. It took an extra half-century.
Yes, for 50+ years, I’ve kept a massive black steamer trunk full of dolls, ostensibly saving them “for my children,” but truthfully mostly just saving them.
I’m a sentimental type, a saver. OK. I’m a bit of a bit of a hoarder. Read more
Silver Necklace Shopping: Bring on the Bling
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme Some Credit
The other day, on a whim, I decided to buy myself a fancy silver necklace. I’ve never bought myself expensive jewelry before. When it came to the good stuff, the big bling-y, sparkling stuff, that arrived as gifts from parents, boyfriends, and for the past 32 years, Handsome Hubby.
But I was in the mood for instant gratification. I wanted the necklace right then and there. I didn’t feel like “hinting” and waiting for HH. I’m a big girl – more than a big girl, I’m middle-aged and – by God, I can buy my own bling!
So, faster than you can say “discretionary spending,” off I went on my mission to find that perfect piece of jewelry. What I got was something entirely different! Read more
Mid-life Marital Thrill: Is it Sex or is it … ?
Screams, Cheers, and More
Some couples grow bored with each other, retreating to separate corners of the house, separate activities, and silent, resentful boredom. Not Handsome Hubby and I. We’re finding joy in a new, intense mid-life marital thrill. It involves strange new pleasures – Read more
A Happy Fourth of July for Everybody
A Fantastic Fateful Day for my Family
Happy Fourth of July!
Today is a special day for our nation.
And today is a special day for my family because 87 years ago my parents met … on a blind date … on Coney Island.
My father was supposed to go out with my mother’s best friend, but … Read more
Talkin’ Trash: The Games Families Play
Will He or Won't He?
Remember when the kids were little and you had family game night? Well, my live-at-home 26-year-old and I still play games together. More specifically, we play one game each week. More specific still, we play the same “talkin’ trash” game every Monday night. We play “Will he or won’t he … take out the trash?”
It’s a fun game. You may even play it at your house. There are set rules to it. It’s predictable – except for the outcome which makes my hair and blood-pressure rise. Read more
Seasonal Vanity Disorder
A Sight for Sore Eyes, Lips, and ...
It’s that time of year when I’m forced to schedule my annual embarrassing doctor’s appointment. You’re thinking mammogram and pap smear. But no, I suffer from another repeating ordeal, SVD, Seasonal Vanity Disorder, a hush-hush, but common mid-life ailment.
Each June, I’m forced to hot foot it to the doctor to get a prescription for prescription-strength allergy-relief medication to soothe my itchy swollen eyelids, blotchy, splotchy derma, and yes, even my hot feet!
“Ah, seasonal allergies,” you surmise and sympathize.
Well, thank you for the sympathy, but you’re wrong about what ails me. Read more
Website Wedded Woes
Handsome Hubby is Not Amused
Sure, he thought it was fun for a while. Sure, he liked being called Handsome Hubby in my Muddling through Middle Age blog. In fact, he liked it so much he even started signing emails to me “HH.” But now the fun has ended and Website Wedded Woes have begun!
HH has taken umbrage at my blogging about him and our marriage. Read more
Klutz Meets Cake. Cake Wins
Cake Catastrophe
Last week was Handsome Hubby’s birthday. What do you give a man of modest needs and wants who has everything but the time to enjoy what he’s got? A delicious home-cooked dinner with a cake made from scratch, thought I, a cooking klutz.
The truth is I’m actually a pretty decent cook, but I am sadly severely baking-challenged. So, I spent much time searching for a dessert recipe that was delicious, but also doable.
Death by Chocolate Chip
After much debate, I picked a recipe for a Mocha Chocolate Chip Cake with Mocha Chocolate Chip Icing. Death by chocolate chip! What a sweet way to go!
But then, barely-able-to-bake me made a mistake. Instead of using my tried and true 8-inch cake pans, I decided to Read more
10 Things I Will Never Say
Not Today. Not Tomorrow. Not Any Day
You know the warning “Never say never?” Well, now that I’m middle-aged, I’m confident there are certain things I will NEVER say (or do).
Take a look at my list and see if there are any you’d never say either!
1. “Bartender, make that martini extra dry.”
My mother drank gin martinis. The first time she let me have a sip, I thought I would choke to death! Even for the sake of a delish green olive, I’ll never dip into that martini toxin!
2. “Let’s go for sushi for dinner.”
Really? Raw fish? Read more
The Prince Wore Plaid
Handsome Hubby, Not Harry
Several months back, I vowed to follow a strict diet. I wasn’t cutting carbs or calories, but celebrities. More specifically, I vowed to stop my late-night consumption of empty sugary fluff and stuff articles about celebs. Then, amid all the unrelenting and divisive bad news, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got engaged. I broke my celebrity diet and happily devoured stories about the happy couple.
But when the non-stop deluge of coverage continued unabated, I got bored. I tried to regain literary control. Admittedly it was near impossible to do amid the 24/7 onslaught of photos, fashion tips, gossip, and wedding planning updates. Still, I tried to focus on the important news of the day. And to some degree, I was successful. I know this, because just last week, Read more
Speaking of My “Impending” Death
I'd Rather Not, Thank You
Remember the old Art Linkletter bit – “Kids Say the Darndest Things?” Well, recently a young friend of mine had the darndest conversation with me about – in his estimation – my seemingly impending death!
And it all came about because of that old adage, “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” Read more
Robots May Displace Workers. Never Mom
Maternal Eternal Job Security
If you want job security in today’s increasingly automated world, be a mom. A machine may assemble a car and one day drive it safely, but no machine will ever replace a mom’s main task – providing the “emotional labor” that runs a happy home.
“What is emotional labor?” you ask. Read more
Emails. Evites. Emojis. Oh, My.
3 out of 4 Online Americans Emoji. Not Me
Two decades ago, in a time way before emojis, my mother refused to get a CD player. After switching from 78-rpm to 33 1/3-rpm records; from cassette to 8-track tapes; from mono to stereophonic to quadrophonic sound, she was done. CDs were, in her words, “one change too much.”
I know how she feels. These days, as a middle-aged Luddite, I’m always one techno-trend behind, always late to the latest social media party.
I only signed on the Facebook last year, and now that I’m finally getting the hang of it, scandal has erupted and many of my friends are leaving it. I have a Twitter account, but I don’t give a tweet about it. Instagram’s a mystery and Pinterest just doesn’t hold my interest.
What can I say? All right, I’ll say it. I’m anti-emoji! Read more
Nature Abhors a Vacuum. Worrywart Women Do Too
A Void of Information Creates Havoc
In physics, the Latin term horror vacui, nature abhors a vacuum, comes to us from Aristotle, and no, it does not refer to a fear of vacuums or cleaning!
In people-speak, the term means there are no naturally-occurring empty spaces because denser surrounding material immediately fills the void.
I’m no scientist. So, who am I to argue with Aristotle? I would, however, add an important corollary; Women also abhor vacuums.
Vacuums = Worrywarts. Let Me Explain
Whenever there’s a “vacuum” of information, a woman’s mind, much like a washing machine, starts spinning and quickly reaches the agitation cycle, coming up with all sorts of negative, awful conclusions to fill the worrisome info-void. Read more
The Kids Won’t Leave
So, I'm Running Away from Home
“More Americans 18-to-34 Now Live with Parents Than with Spouse.”
That’s the terrifying finding from a recent U.S. Census Bureau study. And for all you aspiring empty nesters, the bad news continues: Read more
Users’ Manuals I Could Really Use
Help Needed as I Muddle Through Middle Age
So much information. So much misinformation. Politics! Parenting adult children! Aging! Where – and to whom – do you turn when you really need to know what’s what? Where are the users’ manuals I – and all middle-aged muddlers – could really use? Read more
In Belgium, They Just Convicted a Man for Sexism
I Call That a Good Start
In Belgium, they just convicted a man of sexism. It’s true.
For the first time since a law was passed four years ago, a criminal court there convicted a man of “sexism in the public space.” The Belgians were a little slow on implementation, but still, the conviction is something.
The man was fined almost $4,000 for verbally abusing a female police officer who tried to question him after he was seen jaywalking.
Viewed through the lens of the #MeToo movement and through the soul of every woman who has suffered an unwelcome catcall and stare while walking down the street, this development is welcome indeed.
Yet, somehow this law makes me dream even bigger. I long to legislate boorish behavior across a wide spectrum of issues in all sorts of public spaces. Read more
If Mother Nature Calls, I’m Out
You Take the High Road, I'll Take a Taxi
Some people like the outdoors. Some people like roughing it. Some people I ain’t. If Mother Nature calls, I’m out.
Born in New York City, my idea of roughing it is taking the subway instead of a cab. Brought up in Las Vegas, my idea of the outdoors is the time it takes to move from the air-conditioned house to the air-conditioned car. Yes, as the joke goes, roughing it means staying at a Holiday Inn.
Now Handsome Hubby (HH), a rugged, outdoorsy type, accepts these facts (some might say limitations) about me. Early in our dating days, I had told him the harrowing tale of my one and only sojourn with Mom Nature. It was really more a word-to-the-wise there’s-a-moral-to this-tale than anything else.
Happily, HH was a good listener. He has never suggested we go camping in 30-plus years of marriage. Although when we married, he planned our honeymoon for Yosemite National Park.
“You’re taking our sister camping?” my brothers asked aghast. Read more
Death and Taxes … and Snoring
Confessions from the Guest Room
Nothing in life is certain, but death and taxes. True, but in my mind the list is incomplete. Snoring and sleep problems, the handmaidens of the middle-aged and elderly, are also life’s certainties.
And if you agree, then it is time for true confessions. Fess up, ladies. How many of you have fled the marital bed and sleep in separate rooms from your husband or significant other? Read more
Household News You Can Use
And Eat Too!
Does all the gloom and doom of the news get you down? Well, cheer up! Here’s household news you can use … and eat too!
It’s all thanks to my hometown newspaper, The New York Times, and a terrifically tasty morsel, I mean, just published article entitled “Beyond Lemons and Vinegar: How to Clean with Ketchup, Vodka, Butter and More.” It’s a cook’s, I mean, cleaner’s dream.
The article goes way beyond those old pantry cleaning standbys of baking soda, lemons, and salt, and takes us into the yummy culinary, I mean, cleaning arena of butter, potatoes, wine (white AND red), and olive oil! This is better than sliced bread. Oh, wait. Sliced bread is also on this innovative culinary/cleaning list! Read more
Hunger Games, Restaurant Edition
It's My Dinner Out and I'll Cry If Want To
Eating out used to be special. It used to be fun. Now it’s noisy, crowded, pricy, and pretentious. It’s more hunger games, the restaurant edition, than fun and games.
Where to begin my list of dine out don’t likes? I know … at the front door. Read more
The Joy of Laundry
Robots, Step Away from My Machine!
Some women find bliss doing downward dog. Some get their Zen from deep breathing. Me? I get my life affirmations doing laundry. Yes, doing laundry, a task most consider drudgery and toil. I know it’s odd, but before I explain why, I must register my alarm. There’s a technological “advance” on the horizon that threatens my laundry delight.
First, about my love of laundry: It began, as most things do, with my parents. Read more
The Great Couch Quest
Will We Find a Sofa or Sadness?
Some quest for El Dorado; some for the Fountain of Youth. Others seek world peace or an end to poverty. Well, good for them.
Handsome Hubby and I have our own noble quest. We search for something of beauty; something that will bring joy to family and friends. We seek a couch, comfy and chic.
We have pursued our noble quest for ten months so far, and so far, we have met only hardship, dashed hopes, scorn, and failure.
Seemingly simple you might think to buy a living room sofa, one that’s soothing and sleek … and somewhat affordable. And also, ideally, delivered before the End of Days or, at least, before the next round of holidays and birthday celebrations. But simple it is not. Read more
Valentine’s Day: The Prettiest Girl in the Room …
He Used to Say So All the Time .. Used to.
It’s Valentine’s Day, a day fraught with all sorts of emotion, memories, and expectations. I personally have always loved the day. It follows by three days my parents’ anniversary and the birth of my first child. My father, who was quite the romantic, made a big deal of Valentine’s Day and so, it was very special around our house when I was growing up. As a dating young miss and Ms., I received flowers, cards, candies, and other delights with the best of them. It was all fun.
And as a special bonus, 34 years ago on Valentine’s Day, I was anointed one of the “10 Most Eligible Women in the World” by United Press International (UPI), the international news agency whose newswires, photos, films, and audio services provided news to thousands of newspapers, magazines, and radio and television stations.
I know. It’s hard to believe looking at chubby, middle-aged me today, but in 1984 the news service named me to that “Most Eligible” list along with blonde bombshell Loni Anderson; Christie Hefner, Hugh’s daughter; Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones, niece of Queen Elizabeth, and Patti Davis, daughter of President and Nancy Reagan.
“Why me?” you rightly ask. Read more
Cake Porn
Confessions of a Chubby Middle-aged Woman
OK. It’s true confession time. And it’s one to take the cake.
Everybody has an addiction, a guilty pleasure. Mine? Cake porn. Yes, I’m a cake … and cookie … and cupcake … and pie-aholic. I’m indiscriminate and undiscerning. If it’s baked, I’m in. I cannot get my fill of the stuff.
Some people say it’s a good idea to eat dessert first, but they’re all talk. I don’t just talk about it. I regularly dessert first, dine second.
Some people like cold pizza for breakfast, but if you ask me, nothing beats leftover chocolate birthday cake.
My obsession with cake extends way beyond ingesting the stuff, I’m a voyeur as well. Read more
To Facebook Friend or Not to Friend?
Late to the Social Media Party
“This year, for the first time, more than half of the US population will use Facebook.”
So proclaimed a recent report, but it is, of course, already outdated. It was outdated, in fact, one minute after it was published, because at that very moment I signed onto Facebook for the first time.
I know. I was late to the social media party. I resisted for a long time. My generation was raised to be more private. Communications were personal, one-on-one. To me, Facebook seemed a return to the days of multi-user party telephone lines, when the operator—and anybody and their mother—could and would listen in.
For years, I prided myself on standing apart from the Facebook nation. “It’s for the kids.” “I’m too busy.” I even resisted the beguiling thought of using it to “spy” on my children, and boy, was that tempting!
But now I have succumbed, succumbed in a big way. Although I must be honest. The reason, initially, wasn’t social, but Read more
Fitness Lovers Bare All
Middle-aged Women Run ... for Cover
It’s not too late, fitness lovers. Still, want to make good on that New Year’s resolution to get in shape in 2018, but hate the chic club scene, where all the cool girls and guys promenade, point, and flex their muscles and the latest fab workout clothes?
Well, for those of you wanting to shake up their exercise routine and scene, I’ve got a recommendation. Here’s the skinny … and yes, I do mean the skinny. There’s a gym offering workouts without clothes. Yes, disrobed, in the raw, bare-assed naked. Read more
You Can Make a House Smart, but Not a Homeowner
And That Smarts
You can make a house smart, but not a homeowner. I know from first-hand experience. You see, I live in a smart house. “Live” is perhaps an inaccurate description. “Trapped” is a better word.
You see, I have a techno-wizard son and an enabling husband, who enthusiastically says “yes” to every new electronic device the “Techno-Wiz” wants to install and program into our house.
My friends think I’m lucky to have the Techno-Wiz on-call 24/7 to solve my computer needs, but I know the ugly truth: He and my husband are engaging in a modern form of gaslighting, ostensibly working to modernize the house in ways I don’t—and will never—understand. It’s driving me crazy and that’s their real goal. Read more
Instant Pot Madness
Big Boys and Their Kitchen Toys
Christmas has come and gone, but Instant Pot madness lingers at our house.
Handsome Hubby (HH), a modest fellow of few wants and needs, had expressed a gift wish for an Instant Pot, a wish I failed to heed until it was too late. I should have realized he was serious when he started reading New York Times Instant Pot articles to me with the solemnity he usually reserves for stories about the environment and the Golden State Warriors.
What is it about men and their desire for gadgets? Read more
Bugs Bug Me in the Air … and in Print
New Year's Resolutions for my Beloved New York Times
I don’t mean to bug anyone, but some issues have been troubling me for a long time. So, in hopes of redress, I’m sending this letter to the new publisher of The New York Times, A.G. Sulzberger.
Dear Mr. Sulzberger:
Please accept my heartfelt congratulations on your ascension to the helm of the Gray Lady. What a terrific promotion, one that comes at such a critical time for The New York Times and our nation.
As a lifelong subscriber, I wish you the best of success. In addition, I would like to offer a few suggestions, call them New Year’s resolutions, you might consider implementing ASAP.
Before I begin, do you mind if I call the paper “The?” I feel we should be on a first-name basis since I’ve been reading The since, well, since I was old enough to read. My family always subscribed to The even when we lived out West and had to have the paper mailed to us in the dark ages before regional printing presses and the Internet.
Turning first to the Tuesday Science Section: Let me preface my remarks by affirming: I believe in evolution. I believe in vaccinations. I believe climate change is real.
That said, I must speak out on behalf of a neglected group of readers who—each week—are cruelly assaulted by your Sci-editors. Read more
News, Gratitude, and Good Wishes
Dear Middle-aged Muddlers,
As 2017 comes to a close, I’ve got exciting news to share with you. Muddling through Middle Age has just been named one of the “Top 100 Humor Blogs and Websites on the Web.”
Thank you so very much for making this designation happen. Your chuckles, good cheer, and punctuation corrections make my Muddling labors so much fun.
Handsome Hubby and I wish you and your family health, happiness, and an abundance of laughter in 2018.
With appreciation and affection,
Karen
Throw in the Towel in 2018
The Path to Enlightenment
You know the expression “to throw in the towel”- meaning to give up? Well, I am trying the opposite. I’m turning to towels, dishtowels to be specific, for inspiration and wisdom in 2018.
Maybe it is the challenging times we live in. The nation seems more divided than ever. We’re all scared about a possible war with North Korea. And I personally feel adrift, desperately trying to figure out what to give my sister-in-law for her birthday this year.
So, you can imagine my delight the other day when birthday gift shopping online, I found inspiration, indeed true enlightenment in … of all things … Read more
I Can’t Get No Satisfaction
But the Show Must Go On
So sang the Rolling Stones. I know how they feel. For sadly, I can’t get no satisfaction. My husband no longer satisfies my needs the way he did in the glory days of our courtship and first years of wedded bliss.
“Oh, God, not again,” he moaned just the other day as I gently nudged him awake. “We just did it,” he lamented.
“Come on,” I demurred sweetly. “That was hours ago. Come on. Get up.”
“You’re killing me,” he protested. “I just cannot do this seven-nights-a-week and twice on weekends. I’m not young anymore.”
“Come on,” I repeated. This time in a firmer voice.
“You’re insatiable,” he muttered weakly.
Now, I suppose you think I’m talking about sex … Read more
The Exercise Pill: One Swallow, Then Svelte
At Last, Something for Nothing
It’s a chubby middle-aged woman’s dream come true—an exercise pill. Soon – well, one day – maybe, we’ll all be one swallow away from svelte!
It’s true. Well, sort of. What’s true is that scientists are working on drugs that provide the benefits of exercise without the need to actually move a muscle, get off the couch … or, horrors, sweat.
Imagine the possibilities. Imagine the delight. Read more
Carson City Courtship – What Were the Odds?
Falling in Love with Handsome Hubby
CARSON CITY, NV — Who would have thought they would stay together? The odds of them lasting much beyond that first fast attraction were small.
He was a small-town boy, who lived most of his childhood in one tiny house in Reno, Nevada, one tiny town. She was a Big City girl. The smallest “town” she had ever lived in was Las Vegas.
His life plan was to practice law in Gardnerville, Nevada (population 3,414) and take lots of time off to cross-country ski. She had big city dreams, wanted a brownstone facing Central Park and to win the Nobel Peace Prize for ending the Cold War.
For her birthday, he gave her four books. The first three were cookbooks including one titled “The Enchanted Broccoli Forest.” To put it kindly, she was less than enchanted.
“Why cookbooks?” she asked with more than a hint of outrage. Read more
Period Trackers. Not for Grammarians
But for the Gals
Here’s a cute, true-life story, compliments of a dear friend of mine. The subject is period trackers. And spoiler alert: this is not a new computer app for grammarians, but for gals.
The period trackers I’m referring to are computer apps that track menstruation cycles, and while admittedly most “women of a certain age” didn’t need this, my friend’s story illustrates how the subject of the “birds and the bees” has become even more complicated … and comical … nowadays. Read more
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving, my dear middle-aged muddlers! Have a wonderful holiday. Enjoy your family and friends. Eat hearty and be well.
As for Handsome Hubby and me, we’ll be muddling along—cooking a vegetarian, vegan Thanksgiving dinner sans turkey for our vegetarian, vegan spawn! Wish us luck as we create new traditions while celebrating the past!
I’ll be back next week with new Light Laments for women (and men) “of a certain age.”
Fondly,
Karen
AND if the holiday and spending time with family is more of a “lament” than a “laugh” for you, please take a quick break and read some of my prior stories. In fact, it might be a good time to re-visit my 8 Tips for Personal Holiday Fulfillment–Sure-fired Ways to Get the Gifts YOU Want!
Possession Obsession Salvation
Storage Options for the Downsized Challenged
I’ve separated and sorted, trashed and stashed, and donated with the best of them. I’ve consolidated, re-arranged and shelved. But I’ve still got Possession Obsession and I need help. I need storage solutions. Yes, that’s it. I need stuff for my stuff. Salvation! Read more
Possession Obsession
Clutter or Keepsake?
I have a confession to make: Like many women of a certain age, I suffer from possession obsession. I have too much “stuff” and don’t know what to do about it. You know what I mean – I have an overabundance of material objects that I don’t want or need, but somehow cannot bear to shed. Read more
8 Tips for Personal Holiday Fulfillment
Sure-fired Ways to Get the Gifts You Want
Halloween has come and gone. I’d better get started with my holiday gift list or I’ll be in big trouble. I’m not talking about my holiday gift-giving list. I’m talking about my gift-getting list. Oh, let’s be honest. It’s my “Really, Really Want, Gotta Have, Pretty Please, Will You Get Me This” list.
All year I’m on the hunt for perfect Christmas, Hanukkah, birthday and “just because” gifts for family, friends, and colleagues. I even buy “unbirthday” gifts for attendees at birthday parties, because I love shopping for others. I am such a dedicated gift shopper, that when my children were growing up, we celebrated the “birthdays” of their stuffed animals. Any excuse for cake, ice cream, new book purchases and gift bags!
But come the holidays, my “give unto others” spirit makes a U-turn. I lust for carefully curated payback from loved ones in the form of “just right” gifts for me.
And who better to pick what’s “just right” than me?
If you’re honest, deep in your heart, you’re a tiny bit like me. Admit it. You’ve endured a few too many years of ill-gift-gotten-gain in the form of toaster ovens, fuzzy slippers, and hand-held vacuum cleaners.
So, in the spirit of female solidarity, I offer these eight tips to make your holidays (plus Mother’s Day and birthdays) brighter and your gifts better. Read more
Cats Make Me Scratch
Cat Lovers Are Unconvinced
I wanted this blog to be positive, free of fiery and fierce political rhetoric. I did not want to make it a forum for hate speech or rigid doctrinaire policy statements.
In the interests of free speech, I even let a friend post a “Go Cleveland” comment in response to my “Go Golden State Warriors” essay. That’s how fair-minded I am!
But the time has come for me to take a stand. I need to state for the record – clearly and loudly: Please believe me. Please accept that I really am allergic to cats. Do not think ill of me. They just make me ill. Read more
Thin Lips and Thin-Skinned
Only the Brave Visit the Plastic Surgeon
My dear Middle-aged Muddlers, last week as you recall, I “documented” my struggle to combat the shame of a droopy mouth and thin lips.
In my 20s, 30s, and 40s, I used excessive amounts of lip liner, lipstick and lip gloss to compensate. I also awkwardly smiled a lot to mask the droop.
In my 50s, I “graduated” to injectable fillers. They were costly. They hurt, but they helped.
Then one day my dermatologist told me that fillers were no longer the solution. Age, genes, and gravity were winning. If I wanted a perky pout, I needed stronger medicine. I needed plastic surgery.
Specifically, I needed a corner lip lift, a tricky procedure involving incisions on each side of the mouth with no place to hide the scars. Done poorly, the procedure leaves the patient resembling Batman’s nemesis, The Joker. Having seen pictures of botched procedures, I assure you, that is no joke.
My dermatologist referred me to a plastic surgeon, one of the “pioneers” of the corner lip lift procedure. I made an appointment, canceled it and called to re-schedule. I repeated this cycle of hope and fear three more times before I ultimately met the doctor. It was time to meet my re-maker. Read more
Nora’s Neck, My Thin Lips
Self-image Bites
The amazing screenwriter, journalist, and author Nora Ephron hated her sagging neck.
I hate my lips.
Nora lamented the pitfalls of maturing – aka aging –in her best-selling book, I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman. As the title suggests, she especially bemoaned her saggy, baggy neckline and her middle-aged need to camouflage the offending body part with scarves.
Well, my nemesis is my lips. However, unlike Nora, my problem isn’t solely the result of aging. It’s a lifelong curse. And unlike Nora’s scarf solution, I cannot cloak my offending feature. For decades, I have suffered in silence, but no more. Today I share my shame. Read more
Inheritance Guilt
Much Too Much of a Good Thing
Do you suffer from inheritance guilt? It’s a problem many of us middle-aged baby boomers face. Your parents pass on and you inherit all their “stuff.” Are you grateful or do you buckle under the weight of unwanted material overload and guilt?
Nowadays, more and more of us fall into the suffering and lamenting category. One friend of mine cannot wait to dispose of her mother’s mink coat. Another hates her mother’s bright orange, fish-patterned ceramic platter. For me, the cause of distress – fine china.
And while it’s all well and good to lament, on a practical basis, what do you do when you have too much of a good thing or even too much of a bad, but deeply sentimental object? Read more
Apples are OK. Compliments are Better
A Compliment a Day Keeps the Old Age Blues at Bay
My recipe for good health and vitality is not fresh fruit, but vanity. Yes, apples are nice, but compliments are so much better.
Yesterday I had several errands to run and a few appointments to keep. It was a busy day. So, I made an effort, did a bit more than just throw on some jeans. Truth be told, I did a lot more. I, as they used to say, gussied myself up. It paid off. I got four compliments from four different people.
One woman, a make-up artist at Bloomingdale’s no less, told me how much she liked my lipstick.
A passerby on the street complimented me on my cool jacket.
My lunch companion admired my green-lacquer necklace, and the waitress praised my shiny fire-engine-red nail polish.
I rode the BART home feeling pretty good about myself. I met my husband for dinner. He was tired and not feeling great. He offered no compliments or even much by way of conversation. It was a quick dinner, and home we went to a quiet evening of TV and sleep.
I thought about the compliments I had received that day. They were great. I sincerely appreciated them. Truth be told, I needed them the way someone in the Sahara Desert welcomes a sip of water. But they made me think. They were different than the compliments I used to get in “the old days.” Funny how we say “the old days” when what we actually mean is the days when we were young. Read more
Second-Hand Dope
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, Lungs ...
A recent Saturday night at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley, Ca. Handsome Hubby and I went to the famed venue for the first time to see Beck, a musician I have long admired and long wanted to see.
The concert was sold out, but a friend gave us her VIP tickets. What a generous treat. Cool, right? Totally cool.
Well, apparently Handsome Hubby (HH) and I are not cool, at least we’re not Berkeley cool.
Second-Hand Smoke
It was a rock concert. So, yes, we should have known. It’s Berkeley. So, yes, we really should have known. But we just weren’t prepared for the magnitude of it all. It was overwhelming. Read more
My Shout-Out Moment
Standing Up for Myself
Hillary Clinton recently revealed how creeped out she felt when Donald Trump lumbered along behind her during the debates and how sorry she was she hadn’t told him to back off. Well, I recently had my own shout-out moment, and I’m proud to say I took it.
Now no one would ever accuse me of being a shy, weak and wilting flower. No one would ever say I’m one to hold back on my opinion. That said, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve mellowed a bit and try not to rock the boat quite so often. Yet, the other week in Reno, Nevada, I showed my true colors – and then some. Read more
We Don’t Have a Special Song
Can the Marriage be Saved?
Something was lacking in our marriage and I hadn’t even realized it. Then it hit me. We don’t have a special song. Now I worry. Can the marriage be saved? Read more
Scratchy Sheets and Thread Counts
We're Having Trouble Under the Covers
Early in our marriage, my husband and I kept track of who owed whom what. We kept itemized lists for most everything, but most of all, we counted movies. I liked foreign films, preferably with subtitles. He liked, no, loved, action films, preferably with lots of blood.
Usually, it was a zero-sum game. One foreign film for one action flick. If the foreign film was so boring that even I had to admit it was boring, I had to pay up with two action films in a row. If the bloody action film was so violent that even Handsome Hubby (HH) had to look away, I’d get two foreign flicks as recompense.
Then, at some point through the many years and the many movies, the system broke down. We stopped counting. As long as there was good popcorn and the seats were comfortable, we were a happy movie-going couple. No give and take required. A natural film equilibrium had been achieved. We both took this as a sign of middle-aged marital bliss and contentment.
The Battle of the Bed
But, of late, a new source of counting has creased our otherwise happy marital countenance. We’re having trouble in the bedroom, more specifically in bed. Read more
Where Do You Keep Your Olive Oil?
Culinary Questions Meet Midlife Uncertainty
Both the mighty and the not-so-mighty worry. Shakespeare’s Prince Hamlet pondered lofty questions from his castle keep; I ponder less esoteric topics like how to keep olive oil.
Hamlet contemplated the unfairness of life and debated avenging his father’s murder by his uncle, now stepfather and king. He pondered life itself:
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poor Hamlet. Everybody’s got issues, right?
Take me. I’m no Shakespeare, but I too face grave, indeed existential questions:
To refrigerate or not to refrigerate? That is the question.
‘Tis better to risk rancidity or clouded, solidified olive oil? Read more
Everybody’s a Critic
Feedback Bites Back
It used to be that criticism belonged to the ranks of five classes of people – professional critics, impartial consumer product reviewers, your mother, your best girlfriend, and your in-laws.
Now, thanks to the Internet, everybody’s a critic. Everybody with a bone to pick — informed or terribly ill-informed — is a critic.
You can ding short-staffed restaurants, struggling retailers, and barely-managing masseurs on Yelp; you can demolish drivers on Uber and Lyft, and you can anonymously trash-talk people on all sorts of social media websites. It’s a scary Internet world.
For a long time, I ignored casual “citizen” reviewers. If I wanted to know what somebody thought, I wanted to know what somebody-in-the-know knew and opined. If I needed a theater or a movie review, I opened The New York Times Arts and Book Review sections. If I needed a new toaster or vacuum cleaner, I turned to Consumer Reports.
If I needed confirmation that my husband was an insensitive clod, I asked my mother (although she generally sided with my husband). If I thought I looked fat, I’d ask my girlfriend for a hasty assurance that I was mistaken.
But now I know that everything is reviewed online, even you, even me! Read more
Hawaii Va-cay. Hawaii Dismay.
Or How I Wish I Spent My Summer Vacation
Dear Middle-Aged Muddlers,
I hate to complain, but I just got back from my so-called vacation and I cannot tell you how much I wish I had followed my instincts and opted for that restful, peaceful stay-cation I so dreamed of.
As you may recall, Handsome Hubby (HH) had invited me to join him on a business trip to Hawaii. I was reluctant, but you know me, always the good wife. So, off I went.
“Oh, Hawaii. How fun,” enthused everyone I told about the upcoming trip to our nation’s 50th state. “Wait – you’re not excited?”
“Nope, not a bit,” I’d politely replied. “I’m more a desert rat than a sea and sand fan.”
I understand that the idea of a Hawaiian getaway sounds great to most people, but I’m from Las Vegas. My idea of a watery retreat is a mega-resort and swimming pool, lightly chlorinated, with me floating on a pink raft with a Diet Coke in the drink holder.
As for the ocean? I don’t snorkel. I don’t scuba dive. I don’t surf. I’m afraid of the water. Of rip tides. Strong tides. Big waves. Any waves.
I’m scared of sharks, jellyfish, stingrays, even random tiny fish that swim by. I don’t like sand in my swimsuit and I hate the stink of salt water in my eyes and its taste in my mouth.
Then, there’s the chubby-thigh issue and the extended walk of shame from the unfurled beach towel to the water’s concealing, albeit treacherous, waves. No itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini for me. No way.
In short, I was apprehensive about a vacation to Hawaii. It turned out, I was right – but not for any of the aforementioned reasons. Read more
Celebrity Diet: Words to Live By
2 a.m., Any Night of the Week
That’s it. I’ve binged again. Must stop. Must take control. I will go on a Celebrity Diet. Starting right now. Read more
CIA? Me, a Spy? Oh, My
The Day The Agency Called
I’m not sure what prompted the recollection. I was just sitting on the couch watching some silly spy movie for the 17th time with Handsome Hubby. Somewhere between the commercials, the snacks and nodding off, I engaged in a little middle-aged woolgathering, the way we of a certain age do from time to time. I remembered something I hadn’t thought about in a long time – my own, true-to-life, almost CIA spy adventure.
I was young. (Like I said, it was a long time ago.)
I had studied in the then-Soviet Union, had two degrees in Russian Area Studies – political science, history, language, and economics, and spoke Russian with some degree of fluency.
Then the CIA called. Read more
Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner?
My Husband Threw a Dinner Party, but I Wasn't Invited
“Honey, do you mind if we host a dinner fundraiser at the house for XYZ solar energy non-profit organization next month?” queried Handsome Hubby (HH).
“Of course not, darling,” I devotedly replied. “My casa es tú casa,” I oh-so-wittily added.
“You won’t have to do anything,” he assured me. “It will all be catered and the organization’s staff will be on hand to handle anything that comes up.”
“Of course, darling.”
Pearl Mesta, Smesta
Of late, we have become quite the Pearl and whatever Pearl Mesta’s husband’s name was of hosting events at our home. Our home isn’t large. We can only do gatherings of 40-ish folks for receptions and buffet dinners or just 16-18 for sit-down dinners, but still, we throw a pretty good “do” – if I do say so myself.
As the days ticked down for the solar fête, my husband looked a bit worried.
“Problems with the dinner caterer?” I asked.
“Noooo” came the hesitant reply.
“Unexpected conflict on your calendar? If so, no worries. I can host solo if need be,” I graciously offered.
He got a strange, stricken look on his face. Read more
Middle-aged Chatter
Why Do We All Talk to Strangers?
Do you remember the doll Chatty Cathy? If you grew up in the early 60s, you probably had one. Second to Barbie, this pull-string talking toy was the most popular doll on the market. I had a Chatty Cathy and loved her dearly.
And like my doll, I was a regular Chatty Cathy. I talked so much as a child that my family used to pay me to keep quiet. I’d get a nickel for every fifteen minutes I’d keep still. The truth is, I didn’t collect many nickels.
I wasn’t just chatty. I was really friendly. I once invited a total stranger over to our house. When he showed up, my mother won’t let him in, of course. But he wouldn’t leave. My mother called the police and that night both my parents gave me a stern lecture about not talking to strangers.
Yet, if I wasn’t supposed to talk to strangers, my middle-aged mother was setting a bad example. Read more
Do Your Ears Hang Low?
Heavy is the Burden of Earrings and Age
Pick up a fashion magazine, any fashion magazine, any day of the week, and you’ll find all sorts of tips on how to keep your skin youthful looking, your body from aging, and your hair shiny and healthy. Sadly, however, there is one aging dilemma yet to receive widespread media attention, and that is the problem of droopy earlobes.
Do they wobble to and fro?
That’s right – droopy earlobes. It is one of those dirty little tricks Mom Nature plays on you. As you get older, your earlobes droop, and all those precious dainty button earrings you have, suddenly don’t look so cute on your now dangling, bobbing, overly-spacious lobes.
What’s a middle-aged fashionista supposed to do?
Read more
Microwave Maladies and Magic
Early one morning our microwave broke. I ordered a new one. A delivery date and time for installation were set and that was that. No big deal, at least not for me, but for others, life without a microwave was a challenge. Read more
I Ache, Therefore I Am
Age Gracefully. I Dare You!
“I think, therefore I am,” Descartes said. Yet, as people age, many switch to a different, less inspiring paradigm, namely ‘I ache, therefore I am.”
I have, for instance, a cousin who spends entire telephone conversations reciting litanies of medical ills, without offering even one hosanna for the medical miracles that keep him alive and kicking and well enough to bitch and moan the whole time on the phone.
For my part, I have always vowed to age gracefully and suffer silently whatever slings and arrows come my way.
Well, that pledge has been put to the test lately and I confess, I have to give myself barely passing grades in the dignity and grace department.
Read more
Croissants vs. Kisses
I had gotten up early to prepare croissants for my Barnard College book club meeting. I baked, I dressed and was heading out the door, just when the gardener showed up, an hour earlier than expected.
The night before I had given Handsome Hubby (HH) a list of “to do” tasks to review with the gardener. HH had dutifully set his alarm for the expected arrival time. Yet, here was the gardener 60 minutes ahead of schedule and I needed to leave. What to do? I woke HH, who zombie-like lumbered out of bed.
Back in the car, I buckled my seat belt, adjusted the mirror and opened the garage door. I was inching the car out of the garage when I looked up. There was HH gesturing wildly for me to wait.
“Yes?” I expectantly and lovingly asked, opening the car window as he rushed to the side of the car.
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I Embarrass My Husband
The Subject is Flowers
I embarrass my husband. It’s true, I do.
It’s not my weight. My table manners. My political opinions or even my high-pitched snorting laugh. It’s gotten to the point he won’t be seen in public with me – or to be more precise – he won’t go for walks with me.
The path I take, he takes no more.
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From Broadway to Basketball
How I Went Head Over Heels for Hoops
Blame it on the state of the world. Blame it on the folks in Washington, D.C. Blame it on my children or my husband (my personal default fault mode). Whatever the cause, I have long yearned for moral clarity and distinct boundaries between right and wrong. I am tired of gray, of ambiguity, of uncertainty. I need to know who the good guys are, who the bad guys are, and that the outcome of things will be for the best – and to my liking.
And in my desperation, I turned – for the first time in my life – to a new source of solace. No, not religion. Sports. Yes, in the Spring of 2016 I unexpectedly became a devoted – no, make that a fanatical – Golden State Warriors basketball fan. I now proudly sport a tee shirt – make that an officially NBA-sanctioned-tee-shirt. Yes, I pledged allegiance to Dub Nation.
(And to think, just a short time ago, I had to ask my hairdresser what the “Dub” in Dub Nation was. For the uninitiated, non-Californian, it is slang for the beginning phonetic pronunciation of the letter “W” in Warriors which is “dub-bel-yoo.” Got it? Duh!)
But then something happened. Read more
Your Dessert or Mine
Caloric Choices Create Marital Mayhem!
In the old days, my husband and I disagreed about desert vs. mountain locales, city vs. more pastoral settings. Should we live in Las Vegas or Reno? Nevada or New York City or at least Washington, D.C.? Somehow we navigated our way through the difficult marital waters of very different lifestyles and career paths and recently celebrated our 30th anniversary.
However, add an ‘s’ to desert, and we now find ourselves facing a marital incompatibility for which there may be no solution. The issue is dessert. We never saw eye-to-eye on this caloric highpoint of a meal, but when we were younger, it didn’t matter. We could eat a lot (really a lot) and it wasn’t a problem for either of us. Appetizer, bread with butter, soup, salad, big entrée, potatoes, and, of course, dessert – always dessert. We could feast and then exercise it off.
But now, in our late middle years, our “middles” reveal the excesses of our gluttony. You’ve heard the unfortunate expression “muffin top?” I think of my midriff as more of a “seven-layer-cake cascade” and Jon’s as an “ice-cream crescendo.” Read more
The Cat Conundrum
When Music Mixes with Politics, Which Wins?
Do you remember Cat Stevens? If you are middle-aged, you undoubtedly do. And if you liked folk/rock music, you undoubtedly loved Cat Stevens. Well, I am middle-aged and I loved Cat Stevens. I loved him more than Gordon Lightfoot, on whom I had a slight musical crush. And I probably loved him more than the Beatles, who were my gateway drug to Rock ‘n Roll.
So, I cannot tell you how excited I was to learn that Cat Stevens was touring again. When I read the ad announcing his concert dates, I entered not only the date of his San Francisco concert in my iPhone but also – in all capital letters – with a 15-minute ringtone reminder for safety – the date and time the tickets would go on sale. I canceled my standing exercise class to stay home to buy the tickets at the exact second they went on sale. I sat by my computer, my finger poised above the “buy” button, all in an effort to get the best seats possible. Even so, the tickets I scored were a bit further back than I would have liked, row R, but no matter. Handsome Hubby and I were to set to see Cat Stevens in concert.
I started counting the days.
Read more
My Pain-free, Nonsurgical Facelift
Growing up in Las Vegas, surrounded by exaggerated showgirl images of womanly perfection, a girl gets a harsh sense of her own physical imperfections.
Growing up anywhere in America, bombarded by plastic surgery-altered images of celebrities, a woman gets a clear image of a possible path to physical perfection or at least improvement.
In my youth, I scoffed at the idea of surgical alternations, but now that I’m older, I’m not so sure. Like many a middle-aged woman, I stare in the mirror and catalog a growing litany of facial flaws – jowls, bags under the eyes, thinning lips. Need I say more? And so, I wonder if maybe, just maybe, I should rethink that long-held anti-plastic surgery stance.
Well, amazingly I just found a non-surgical solution to my sagging features and equally sagging self-image – one that restores my former youthful glow and good-(ish) enough looks. And best of all, it didn’t involve a trip to the plastic surgeon’s office.
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Are You Still Sexually Active?
And other Signs you’re not as young as you think you are.
“Are you still sexually active?”
“Excuse me?”
“Are you still sexually active?” repeated the gynecologist, peering up and around my legs.
Why? I worried silently. Was she finding something ‘down there’ to indicate I wasn’t or shouldn’t be?
“Of course, I am,” I replied sharply, snapping my legs together to signal an end to that embarrassing and frankly insulting line of questioning.
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Name Banes
“What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet;”
So argued sweet, naïve Juliet about her love Romeo’s last name. Well, as we all know, the tale of Romeo and Juliet did not end well. While many lessons can be learned from this story of teen love gone tragically awry, for me, the lesson is that there is a lot at stake when it comes to your name. And sadly I’ve faced innumerable struggles with mine. Well, not innumerable. I can count them. In fact, to quote Elizabeth Barret Browning, “Let me count the ways.”
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These Boots are no Longer Made for Walking
"Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet, Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God’s great Judgment Seat." Rudyard Kipling
I’m a city girl, as in The City, The Big Apple, New York City. He’s a western, small-town-kind-of-guy. I’m a Gucci-kind-of-girl. He’s always been a cowboy- boot-wearing-guy. And I don’t mean the fancy, handcrafted, custom-made, snakeskin, gold-and-silver encrusted Tony Lama or Lucchese kind of cowboy boots. I mean unadorned, work boots. “Shit-kickers,” as my father so eloquently – and accurately – described them.
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Fat Fall Fashion Magazines
I bought Elle magazine this week. I could not resist its siren call. It was the September/Fall back-to-school issue, the fat issue. You know, the issue loaded with more ads and ostensibly more features than usual, touting the latest in Fall fashions and back-to-school styles. It is, in fact, the only time it is acceptable to use the words “fat” and “fashion magazine” in the same sentence, no less the same issue.
I didn’t really look at the cover. I was transported by the magazine’s girth and recollections of decades ago Fall issues when I really cared about hemlines and waistlines and whether bangs were in or out, hot or not, and in a general sense, what was what and all the latest whatnots.
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